It’s been nearly two months since we moved to Hong Kong on the 20th of February – in meantime I managed to fly back to Poland for family reasons, but I haven’t had time to sit down and put my thoughts together. Settling down, organizing my visa, Sing starting his new job.
So many things have changed since we moved – if you want to see a short recap of our journey, click here or below, or you can skip to the post!
I started this blog back in 2013 when I was bit lonely living on H4 visa with my husband, I couldn’t work nor go to school – just be a stay-at-home-wife. Our life wasn’t bad, but there were no perspectives for us, just immigration jail. We dreamed one day we can move to Hong Kong, but due to visa limitation this dream was far away. The moment we got a chance to move to Ireland we decided it’s the only way we can work towards that dream.
In Ireland we worked hard, got paid well, but it never seemed enough to give up everything and move. At some point I even gave up. It felt really crappy to give up – if others could make it, why couldn’t we? Aren’t we working hard enough? Aren’t we good enough to have a chance?
It had an impact on my self-esteem, all the bad things were happening at the same time. Work pressure, family situation, haters on the Internet. Luckily Sing was there to stand for both of us, always. I’m truly thankful for all he did. He pushed us more and more, and finally we were able to move. And it seems everything has changed the time we booked our one way tickets and moved.
I used to be very self-conscious, and I often looked negative at myself. At my looks, at my choices, at myself in general – even my work achievements made me upset as I kept asking myself “Why nothing is changing? Why can’t we make our dreams come true?”. Little things could grow to a major issue for me, I would be more upset than I think I should be. Sing tried to cheer me up, and he always cared for my mental health, but I was very harsh on myself. I’m very stubborn, if I can’t achieve what I plan – doesn’t matter if it’s delivering long lead time components for quarter end or making a matcha cheesecake – I can get upset. I know, how with that kind of personality I could find someone to marry? Mystery to me as well.
But since we start our move I also started to look at life differently. Big part of it has to do with my husband’s attitude to life – he is very chilled, doesn’t look at others as they don’t impact him, doesn’t get bothered by things he can’t change. It is what it is. And when we started the preparation, I realized how right he is.
- Why I get bothered by things I can’t change, if I really can’t? I only waste my time I can spend on something else.
- Why worry about the past? There’s no time machine.
- Why get upset on haters online? I have someone who loves me, who stood by me during the worst times, while someone else spends their free time trying to make me sad. The one who should be sad is the person who decided to lose precious time to spread crap online instead of being with their family or friends.
- Why look bad at myself? I may not be the pretties, but I managed to make my biggest dream so far true. I should look at myself as strong, diligent and capable person instead of ugly and underachieving.
- Why spend so much time online, when you only have this little time? I still love making friends online, meeting people, find inspiration, but I won’t make social media the centre of my life, and definitely I won’t be bothered to envy others. Just admire, but don’t feel jealous – it can all be fake for what we know.
Also, according to Sing this is not adding value to your result thus should not be concerning you and have impact on any aspect of your life.
And these thoughts really made me a happy person. If I see an ugly comment, I don’t even finish reading it – I delete it. If I look in the mirror I try to simply smile to myself. I praise myself for working hard.
In years I haven’t felt as good.
I wouldn’t even say it was Hong Kong that changed my attitude and look at myself and my surrounding. Partially it did impact my mood as it was always my happy place, place where I got married, place with family and friends, sunshine, big city and nature. But what changed me the most (aside of my chilled husband) is the fact I managed to achieve a dream so big to me, a dream I had since the first time I landed in there. Worked for it for 25% of my adult life, and together with my husband we made it.
I know not every dream is achievable, it’s all about circumstances, timing, work and most important luck – there are plenty of hardworking people who unfortunately cannot make their dreams come true despite all the efforts and heart they put. I felt like that for a long while, but luckily the tables have turned and I can feel happy and proud of myself. This is what made me look at life differently.
When I look in the mirror I see a person happy about herself, about what she achieved. What makes me even more happy is that it was joint effort – my husband and I make a great team, and together we are stronger.
There will be times I will feel bad, I know – life is not a fairytale, but I hope with this better attitude towards life it won’t hit me as hard as I let it hit me before.
I’m looking forward to our life in Hong Kong, life with a different attitude towards myself and life.
What is a big thing that changed your and your attitude for life? Let me know, I would love to hear your story!
Also, if you want me to cover any Poland or Hong Kong related topics, be sure to write it down!