The major problem Momzilla has with me is the fact that after nearly six years of marriage, we still don’t have a child. Especially now with our move to Hong Kong just around a corner, the last thing I want is to top all that stress with a worry about a baby.
But I can tell you one thing – the moment we have a baby, I’m ready for this to come.
How can I be so sure? Some couples would first take care of a pet together, to see if they can handle an additional responsibility. Others will babysit their friends’ or family’s kids. I got even a better boot camp – Momzilla style.
Have you noticed that older people resemble children in their behavior? And I’m not talking about taking care of them when they are unable to. I’m talking more about the attitude – in the past Momzilla would be purely mean to me if she didn’t like something. Our relationship improved and we can spend time without open death threats, but I sometimes think she just changed her tactics of annoying me. Can’t get rid of her, at least make her miserable.
I thought I figured Momzilla out, but apparently the older she gets, she just evolves. What was her habit few years ago, now is no longer in her ‘Me likey list’. It seems her body ages normally, but her personality is going through some odd case of Benjamin Button.
Let me give you some of the examples of situations when I thought I’m dealing with my own child, rather than my mother in law:
When you have a child, you need to have eyes around your head – silence is dangerous, something is going on!
I know she tries to help, but throwing my cosmetics when she thinks they’re finished, then throwing half of the leftovers to prove there’s nothing there is not the way to do it.
And it’s not only the cosmetics – she will do weird things that are actually dangerous. You can only imagine mini-heart attack when I’ve seen her taking a chair onto the balcony so she can wash it from the outside…
I’m not interested in learning Shanghainese, but I’m fluent in telling her ‘Leave it’.
- I’M GOING TO ORDER THE THING I DISLIKE TO SAVE MONEY AND THEN NOT EAT IT, WASTING ALL THE MONEY I WANTED TO SAVE
I blame it on her cheapness and Sing’s terrible translation of the dishes.
Kids can be really picky eaters, especially when it comes to dining out. And from my friends’ experience, they will insist on the choices they don’t really want, just to see how far they can get with their parents.
We went to famous seafood restaurant on one of the weekends. They also have other dishes like pasta or burgers. Sing and Momzilla craved for fish and chips but the moment she saw price of 17 Euro, she immediately looked for something else. And as the spinach mushroom pasta was the cheapest, she decided to take ‘Italian noodle’ (thanks to Sing the translator she thought it’s going to be with tomato sauce).
I tried to persuade her through Sing that I know she won’t like it and she will waste money and be hungry. We can afford these 4 extra Euro of difference between pasta and the fish, but she insisted to get the cheaper dish.
If you’re guessing that she only ate the mushrooms worth 50 cents out of the whole dish, leaving everything else and wasting 12.50 Euro then you’re right. On top of that for the rest of she was grumpy at the back seat of the car, complaining that in London she got fish and chips for 10 Sterling until she eventually fell asleep because of all the car movements. I guess the technique of putting baby asleep by riding a car is indeed successful.
- PERSUASION ISSUE
Have you ever tried to argue with a child? It’s nearly impossible to change its mind, but he or she has much more energy than you therefore eventually you will give up. Same with Momzilla.
That’s how Sing ended up with getting a haircut he didn’t want. He usually drives to Dublin to one Korean lady that makes him look like a handsome potato, but Momzilla complained for an hour during their London trip how long his hair is, then found a Chinese salon, and started organizing the whole haircut. She couldn’t understand ‘No’ and why would he want to do it at his regular place rather than random hair salon. ‘Haircut is haircut’ she said. After an hour of trying to convince her, Sing just gave up and had the haircut.
Funniest part? She complained for two more hours that she actually doesn’t like the way they cut Sing’s hair.
- OVERLY ATTACHED TO THINGS
Do you remember that one toy you never wanted to give up when you were young? It could be due to sentimental value it held, or its unique characteristics.
In case of Momzilla, it’s… a face towel. I’ve seen that old face towel since day I met her. It travels with her everywhere, and when I got her a set of nice, new, fluffy towels she just thanked for it and put them into her luggage, while still using the undead towel.
I sometimes suspect it’s a towel blessed by Sing’s fluids when he was a newborn and she just can’t give it up. I see no other reason why that little, violet towel is not in a garbage yet.
Not the skin filter, she has plenty of it on her skin. More like heart-to-mouth filter. Kids can be painfully honest and I’m aware that even a lot of adults don’t have such filter, but Momzilla got to the point she doesn’t even care anymore. She told her precious Little Treasure that he gained weight since she came to Ireland and that his booty is huge.
Even Precious Price has been victimized.
Don’t get me wrong, she is still 100% capable of taking care of herself, she doesn’t have problems with clear thinking – she’s healthier than many people her age. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, she is just aware of how pain-in-the-butt Sing was a child and secretly tries to warn me without breaking the sacred ‘Little Treasure’ myth… Maybe she’s actually trying to help me… 🙂
Are your in-laws behaving the same? What is your advise on such behavior – keep on trying to take care of them or let them be? Let us know what you think!