One of the most popular topics to joke about in Poland are mothers-in-law.
The jokes are usually from a son-in-law’s perspective, however truth has to be said – it’s usually guy’s mother who is the one difficult to deal with.
Precious little treasure (That’s literally how Momzilla refers to Sing on WhatsApp – Little Treasure. Nearly 32 year old little treasure.) stolen by someone who won’t cherish the treasure the way it should be cherished.
I had this discussion during one of my shellacs sessions and apparently I’m not the only one. My mom literally asked Sing to tell his mom she mentally adopted him. How can you complain about this?
On the other hand, a study from Japan which shows that women who live with their in-laws are up to three times as likely to have a heart-attack. Coincidence? I think not!
If you’re not new to my blog you probably are aware of my sinusoidal relationship with my mother-in-law, a.k.a. Momzilla.
After nearly six years of marriage we finally can get along for an extended period of time, and we rarely get into any fights, however there’s still a long way to go before we call it a good relationship.
Because of my experience, and the experience of people I know I actually told Sing I hope we have a daughter, so I do not turn into Momzilla myself. We hit an impasse, as he is scared to death to have a baby girl because girls get pregnant and have sex. We temporarily agreed on lesbian as the thought of ‘rubbing tofus’ is less scary to Sing than the image of ‘nasty sausages around his precious child’.
After this culinary metaphor we can get to the main point of the post:
my life seems to be showing me a middle finger once again because it seems that I’m already turning into Momzilla!
Here’s a list of things that my husband started to point out about Momz and me:
- We’re both inventory managers – I don’t know how many times I told Sing not to buy 472520942 sauces as he won’t be able to finish them by the expiration date. I don’t know how many times I had to throw away expired fish sauce or spicy sauce jar. And when Momzilla was left alone while we went to work, she found at least one spicy fermented tofu jar and two Japanese salad dressings that were out of date. You should hear her giving out to Sing for wasting the food. He just laughed and told me ‘You’re just like her’.
- We both behave like middle-age Hong Kong women – if you haven’t seen 卓韻芝 [ Cheuk Wan-chi‘s ] stand-up available on Netflix you’re missing out a lot and I recommend you switch from reading this post to her show right now. I was hilarious, and one of my favorite parts was when she was referring to herself as middle-age women and how to recognize them. Number one was the ultimate Asian mom’s favorite – hot water.
In the past I would argue a lot with Momzilla about cold drinks, especially while in Hong Kong (hot weather alert, anyone?), but now we nearly run over each other in the morning to see who is going to get the hot water first as there may not be enough left since last night. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t even like the taste of hot water.
It started as a habit in order to silence Momzilla, and now it’s part of my daily routine. I still don’t like it, tho.
Another thing is my diet – or as Sing says ‘Old ladies’ eating habits’ which includes eating more veggies (but not really served as salads, rather it would be those steamed vegetables), eating more ginger, less meat.
- We both give the directions to Sing – and of course our way is the only right way. That thing never changed, it was there since day one, but longer we are married, more visible it is. The famous ‘folding pants’ case. Sing had to pack himself, and after a fight to let him do it alone, he just threw his pants inside a suitcase. We both complained to him, then both attempted to do it in our own way. We would then complain to Sing that the our way is the good way. Let’s be real – who folds jeans in a way to set the creases?!
- We both get crazy seeing little babies – in the past I would get so annoyed by Momzilla showing me videos of cute Asian or mixed kids like it was supposed to change my mind about having a baby at that time. Now we show each other cute videos and plan my pregnancy and delivery after we move to Hong Kong. It’s Momzilla’s and my baby, Sing is just there by the way. The only problem left is… not having a baby!
Am I worried? A little bit – but not because of the fact that I’m turning into Momzilla, more by the fact that I’m getting older and I see I pick up a lot of ‘old people’s habits’. I know the life goes on, but it feels like yesterday when we just started dating, stayed up all night texting each other.
Today we just cuddle to sleep at 10 PM, plan our working path after move to Hong Kong and do what adults do while adulting.
Momzilla is not the worst mother in law I could have, not the best one either – I went through quite a lot with her and my husband as a family. I learnt a lot, I know which behaviors I want to copy, which behaviors I want to avoid in future as mother in law to someone. It’s a great learning process and I think there will always be something new about Momzilla or our relationship that I will get to discover.
Sing is a lot like my dad and I seem to become more and more like his mother. I guess at the end we just look for someone who was our childhood hero to spend our life with.
Do you see yourself or your significant other behaving like your/his/her in-laws? Was it always the case?
Would love to read your comments!