I would have said ‘None’, but apparently Momzilla was the first person ever to change so dramatically.
I even suspect she’s not the real Momzilla, but some Shanghai spy. So many accountants in our company speak Shanghainese, it could be anyone. But definitely not MY MOMZILLA.
If you read this blog long enough, you will know my relationship with my mother in law has its ups and downs. Two steps forward, one step back. I got used to it, because eventually we would be on good terms.
As most of mothers-in-law, she doesn’t need to change, she’s perfect. The only imperfect part of her life that needs to be changed is daughter-/son-in-law.
She would call us once a week, talking about ‘When are you going to have a child? Your old classmate’s outside auntie’s neighbor’s niece is having a baby, right after they got married?!’.
Literally, she was asking us HOW DON’T WE HAVE AN ACCIDENT – maybe Sing and I should start teaching sex ed and how to correctly use protection.
If it wasn’t about the baby, it would be about our choices in life – why moved our from the US? What do you mean you want to move back to Hong Kong before getting Irish passport?
She just didn’t seem to get it was temporary to get more savings and come back.
She could even be thrown by such a silly thing like bit of a mess in the background of the picture we sent to her – a bottle on the table rather than in the kitchen. Too much oil in the chicken soup – like it was me feeding the chicken before placing it in the pot.
Whenever she would visit us, she would go reaaranging the house or checking if something is ‘clean enough’ (HA, HA – not this time, we got a PetCamera so I will see you as well!).
She would fold or do the laundry without permission – I know it may sound silly but I don’t want someone who is not me, or my husband or my parents to go through my underwear.
All those little things would add up to a personality that is hard to deal with in a long term.
There were three taboo topics no one ever wanted to raise, as it would lead to a lot of ‘Vazyaaaaaaa’ and people hanging up on the phone: baby, moving back to Hong Kong and how to solve our working situation once we move.
First, I noticed her change when she stopped bringing the baby topic. One call – maybe was too busy complaining about something else. Two calls – still nothing, suspicious, but didn’t make me worried. Whole month passed and not a single time she mentioned where’s the grandchild.
I poked Sing and asked him if everything’s fine, but it seems he didn’t notice it first. Once I brought the topic up, he actually started to ask Momzilla if she’s feeling unwell, maybe need to see a doctor.
She just laughed (I didn’t know she can, unless something bad or unlucky happens to me), and went even further – WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK, she asked. SHE asked US when do WE plan to move back to Hong Kong.
After all this years, we got her blessing to move back.
That was the happiest yet the most terrifying moment of year 2017.
She stopped giving me ‘good advice’ or texting me how to take care of Little Treasure A.K.A. my husband.
She started texting my WhatsApp, and actually responding to random messages I’ve been sending her ‘to bond’.
She talks less, and listens more – not necessary me, but at least to Sing. Before he would be the one nodding all the time.
She started being a mother-in-law, not trying to be my next mother.
It seems like she started understanding us more, and our choices.
This is not my Momzilla, she would never drop the baby topic for us to move back. I don’t believe MY MOMZILLA would actually understand when I said I want to get pregnant once we move.
That’s not the woman I know for so many years.
Could this be actually a trap, or some kind of test?
She still occasionally makes Sing do grumpy sounds to the phone, but most of the time she sounds cheerful and excited, which makes it even more suspicious. Like someone tried to be her, but decided no one can be that grumpy all the time.
To be honest with you, I’m quite glad it all seems to go in good direction, and I’m excited to see her next month for Lunar New Year, but on the other hand I’m worried if everything’s 100% OK.
Can one person change just like that, with no particular reason?
I want to believe one can do so – she got jealous of how Sing likes my mom and decided she just needs to be the best MIL in the family, because ‘Hell no, they’re not going to win with us’.
My New Year’s resolution is to ensure the good relationship we seem to have now, will stay as very soon we will become roommates.
What is your New Year’s resolution? Do you try to change your life, or maybe small part of it? Or maybe you don’t believe in resolutions?
Let us know in the comment section!