In case you never heard the term ‘man flu’, it describes a man suffering from the common cold but exaggerates his symptoms and claims to have influenza’. The term is really often used in Ireland and UK and that only proves it was made-up purely for Sing. And my friends’ Hong Kong husbands and boyfriends.
I don’t know what it is, but it seems that more Cantonese blood runs in your man’s veins, more vulnerable he is when it comes to man flu.
Of course I don’t mean all HK men are like this, but read my whole post and say you don’t see any similarities!
Sing doesn’t get sick very often, but once he does you can hear him saying ‘The end is near’ and ‘Don’t let me walk towards the light’. From a big barking dog he changes into little puppy that needs treats and belly rubs. Just look at the featured image of this post, can’t you see all the pain?!
Now he is also under a lot of pain from wisdom teeth extraction and can only eat liquids/soft food. You can only imagine how a hungry man in pain can be grumpy.
It always starts the same…
- First, he will talk less but when he talks, he will mention that he ‘doesn’t feel well’, ‘maybe I should rest a bit’, ‘can I get a bubble bath’. Some sniffles may occur at this stage.
- Secondly, he will move in a weird way, touching the ‘booboos’ (not boobs) and make sure that I see how much he suffers.
- Once the fact of being pain is acknowledge by me, he will seek a confirmation of how serious his state is and that no one ever suffered as much as he did.
- Later on, he will seek attention and affection. Hugs and belly rubs and mandatory at this stage, that is the only things that still keeps him alive. Sometimes he will copy Biscuit’s behavior in order to get some affection from her as well.
- THE APPETITE. At the beginning he will annoy the crap out of me saying ‘Why did you cook so much, you know I’m in pain, I have no appetite’ to suddenly change into ‘I’m so hungry. Soup again? There’s no rice there, I’m so hungry. Soup is not a meal if I can drink it’. The closest I got to a chicken soup when I was sick was a KFC bucket.
- ‘Can you check this?’ – whatever is the cause of pain, I will have to look at it. Doesn’t matter if it’s sore throat or a hole in your gums after teeth extraction. Someone has to monitor the state of poor patient.
- Drama time. The moment he sneezes or coughs for the first time is the beginning of the end. From that point the only thing left to do is pray to God to take him away from the pain.
He will send text messages to our coworkers to take care of me and make sure there will be someone to take me to work. Then he will ask 58435320384023584351 times if someone at work asked about his state. And if I described it correctly as the most serious case of man flu ever.
But don’t worry, there’s always a way to cope with the poor sick man.
- Always bed prepared – have cold medicine hidden in your drawer, some lemons in the fridge, honey on your shelf. That will make your man feel more confident about the caregiver. Not as good as Momzilla’s salmon head tofu soup, but that will do. I guess.
- Empathy. Be sure to remind him how much you want him to get better. For your own sake, not for his.
- Warm blankets and fluffy pillows. Sing thinks that all the pillows I buy are decorative waste of money, but guess who sleeps on a cloud made out of those pillows? Add some snuggles for faster relief.
- It is said in Poland that if you want to cure a cold, ekhm man flu, you should drink a shot of vodka with lots of black pepper inside. No real man can resist alcohol, it warms better than any chicken soup.
- Stop giving him ‘Are you serious?’ look. In his mind he is nearly dead, he wouldn’t want the last thing he sees to be your angry face.
It only stresses him out and make matters worse. That may cause the case of man flu to last longer. YOU DO NOT WANT IT. Think of yourself as a lotus flower on a calm lake. And maybe drink some sangria before any conversation with your significant other.
- Come to realization that your man will always be this way and just accept that fact. At least I have a baby-substitute until we have our own child.
- Once he recovers make sure he gets a ‘Man flu survival kit’ or at least a lollipop and ‘Brave patient’ sticker.
So how many of you can relate? I don’t mean to make fun of anyone, as we all suffer differently and our immune systems are different, but I needed to write this post about Sing or else I would kill him if he complains how hungry he is and that soup is not a meal!
Let us know how your men handle ‘the man flu’! Or maybe is there something like ‘female flu’? I’m so curious about your take on this topic!