婚後的改變 – things that changed after we got married

Have you ever been inspired by a quote you’ve seen in a cinema commercial? I don’t know if I’m that desperate for writing material or maybe because I found image (23)the commercial itself lovely.

Basically, it’s an AIB banking commercial – trust me, it’s adorable until the end when they promise you to make a decision in 3 hours or so. Couple with two kids decides to finally get married, get married to be a family. The lady mentions that when she was younger she probably wanted to have children more than she wanted to be married. But they tide the knot and she said (probably you might have heard this quote before) ‘Everything’s different, nothing’s changed’.

I had plenty of time to think about this sentence on my sick leave at work, sometime between resting and nearly crapping myself after The Conjuring 2. I swear to you, they should put me into those trailers when you can see the scared audience, that would turn into a comedy.

With another wedding anniversary approaching in less than a month, I spent some time thinking is the quote true or not in our case, what has changed, what stayed the same. image (24)

So here’s our list ‘Everything’s different, nothing’s changed’ – aside of our legal statuses and the fact that when Sing said ‘I call upon all persons here present to witness that I, Sing, do take thee, Paulina, to be my lawful wedded wife’ he suffered a long term memory loss and forgot how to cook or do most of the housework. 

  1. Money management – like it or not, it’s now OUR money and not just mine or yours. It doesn’t mean we won’t buy stuff, we will just ask ‘What do you think – read: I need your confirmation to buy it’. As for the living cost, Momzilla has her own quote ‘It’s just a second pair of chopsticks’. Apparently she doesn’t remember how much Sing can eat.
  2. We kinda became Siamese twins – with all the respect to people who suffer from this. But the fact is, people see us like we were one. We don’t stop each other from going out alone, but it seems others around us don’t see it as a possibility. image (25)
  3. We fight differently – I won’t lie, we argue. Life is not an Instagram account where everything is sunshine and unicorns. But we fight in a different way. At the end of the day you cannot just say ‘F*ck it’ and leave. You will sleep in the same bed, so the argument has to be resolved by the end of the day for everyone’s sake.
  4. The annoying things your partner does will be a part of your marriage – after some time you just get used to it and learn to ignore it.
    Also, we have a lovely saying ‘Don’t laugh at your wife’s choices – you were one of them’ – and I decided to take you with all the stupid things you do.
  5. Sing’s health became more important than mine. And vice versa – the reason I’m actually on a sick leave is because Sing forced me to go see a doctor. I normally would ignore the pain and hope I won’t die. It turned out my ‘bad sleep arm pain’ was actually a muscle inflammation.
  6. Sex life changes – I personally think that with time you get more comfortable with your partner which works only in your advantage. It’s OK to laugh, you don’t feel that embarrassment when something doesn’t go as planned. You will also try harder to keep the spark, scared of ‘the married sex life curse’.image (27)
  7. Sing came to realization that there’s a whole new world – decorative towels, multiple pillows just for the decoration, candles that will never light but look lovely, chopsticks that will never be used. But they do look good. Did I mention he had no idea there are those hanging scented tissues you leave in the closet? You only need a flying carpet and you can perform Disney song from ‘Aladdin’.
  8. Life got more difficult – most of the places expect both of our signatures, we need to think about life insurance policies, I spent more time at the airport checks as I get stuck with Sing and his Hong Kong passport. Every decision should be made by both of us. To be honest, that’s probably the only downside of getting married. It gives you more privileges when it comes to inheriting or legal statuses, but it can be pain in the butt sometimes! I can only speak for us, as we are an international couple from two different sides of the world.
  9. Our connection to our families loosen – I still call my parents everyday, Sing will call his parents less often, but he does that regularly, but to be honest it is different. image (26)We love our moms and dads so much I cannot even describe it, but in the end Sing and I are a new little branch in our families’ tries. We make decisions for us and not for them. Love or respect to them doesn’t change, but we got more independent from them and will think more of ourselves.

But there are countless things that didn’t change. Our love, the people we are, the everyday life – that’s why in the end, I love how true for us is this sentence!

How it was in your case? Do you agree with the quote? Share your experience and let us know! We would love to read your take on this topic! 🙂 

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26 thoughts on “婚後的改變 – things that changed after we got married

  1. Wait, there are hanging scented tissues you can leave in a closet? Lol. I honestly also have no idea. I should ask my wife about that one. Not sure if they have those here in Taiwan. Your posts are so humorous, Lina! I love them. 🙂

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  2. HAHAHAHA, yes, I get stuck waiting for Andy and his terrorist-like beard and C-pap machine to make it through the airport security line as well.

    The biggest surprise was how messy Andy was when he no longer needed to impress me. He never puts anything away. Also, he had a washer and dryer, so he used to take away my dirty laundry and return it all clean and neatly folded. Well, that ended. Now his idea of laundry is to start a load and forget about it. Because, of course, the Laundry Fairy (i.e., me) will take care of it.

    But, damn! That man can cook, and so I forgive him the mess. Mostly.

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  3. This reminds me a joke. A couple got married and after a few years, the woman filed for divorce. The man was shocked and said, “What happened? I haven’t changed” The woman replied, “That’s the problem.”
    I think there are things that shouldn’t change, but at the same time, the couple has to grow together. I think a lot of relationships don’t work out is because the couple grows apart instead. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have your own life. About money management, we have our joint account and we have our own accounts. If we want to buy something that the other person doesn’t agree, then it’s coming out of the personal account, which doesn’t happen that often anyway. But it gives us the flexibility and avoids the conflicts.
    Fighting is never easy. I like to talk it out and Mrs. Wong doesn’t. But sometimes, you just have to walk away and let it cool off a bit before reengaging.
    Life sure is different after marriage and I do think sex plays an important part in a relationship. It connects you in a whole new different level especially when the two persons are in love.

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    1. Sing was like ‘little Wong is proof they had sex’ – well, no sh*t honey, married people might do it from time to time 😀 but you two seems so in love whenever I see your videos! just look at the way your wife looks at you 😀

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  4. Agree with all of those points!

    I am kind of happy that the fights are so different, don’t really fancy having such huge clashes like back in the day again :p

    Well, now that I think more about life didn’t get too much more complicated. Surely insurances, taxation, visa, passports are really a hassle but it is such a small thing. In fact life got at least for me easier (don’t have to care any longer how I look!!!!).

    Oh and I must say that in our case it is my wife who seems to own about two billions pairs of socks which are everywhere and always inside out (you know what I mean? Have to turn them back so I can wash them/ put them back into the closet…). Could be a) it is an Asian thing or b) you only realize it when you have to do the majority of the housework 😉

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    1. LOL!! I don’t think it’s an Asian thing about the socks! My wife is the same. HAHA. And the care about how you look is too funny. I think it gets worse after you have a baby! xD

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  5. I agree with a lot of this, even after only a few months of marriage. Junkyu works in the medical field, so he talks to doctors everyday and isn’t scared of them. I, on the other hand, grew up with a nurse for a grandma and a radiologist for a mom, so I grew up in a hospital basically. I hate them. I am a hypochondriac… but I refuse to go to the doctor unless it’s something I know about and can get treated for (sinus infection). But when my arms hurt a few weeks ago, I was like “yeah this happens sometimes” and he made me go to the doctor and they said I also had inflammation… And recently I’ve been really worried about him drinking enough water throughout the day, so I get mad if he leaves his water bottle in the morning.

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      1. Now that is a cunning ploy by husband’s. They know if they mess it up, but make it look like they were trying really, then the wife will take over that task

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  6. Well at least one thing did not change: he still supports the same loser football club! 😀

    I’d like to hear about the love triangle between you, Sing and live football. Or does this triangle even exist in the first place? I’ve seen all my football watching mates’ lives changed upside down. Before marriage, the girl would frequently accompany the guy to the bar/McDonalds to watch live footie and would even know who Rooney or Lampard is. But after marriage it became like “What do you mean you wanna go out to watch that silly game with your mates? You just did that five years ago!”

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  7. Hmmm… we passed nine years together earlier this year and my memory is getting weaker and weaker. And that’s a darn good thing! ;D I think the only constant with marriage is change. Cliche but true. And I love the quote about not making fun of your wife’s choices!!!! (I chose very well though. :D) oooo… I know something that’s changed… swallowing my pride and realizing I screwed up A-GAIN and then having to make the effort to actually change my annoying ways. Like you said, you can’t just stomp off mad because you still have to look your partner in the eye the next morning.

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