死都唔會再去IKEA,講笑啫!- not to serious: I won’t go to IKEA again!

image (22)For a month or so.

By the time you read this schedules post I will be sitting in one of the rooms crying what the hell I was thinking when I decided to get all the furniture from IKEA.

IKEA – part of Dante’s hell for husbands. Place where even the best couples argue even though moment ago they were imagining that sofa in their new home. But with leg extension. And not in leather. And not that shade of grey. And why would you put leg extension on the left hand side when the wall is on your right.

Until this weekend IKEA was my dream place to decorate our flat. In Poland the furniture were always kinda pricey and my parents always chose different stores for my room’s furniture. Same with Momzilla and their home.
When I joined Sing in America and we moved from LA area to East Bay in Northern California we decided to finally get all our stuff in IKEA. But it was all just for rented 18m2. Our place was so tiny we only got a sofa bed, a shelf, a table, TV set and some kitchen/bathroom utilities. It was nowhere near the nightmare we went through this time.

My coworker laughs that there are two places in Ireland that make women really excited – Penney’s (Irish Primark) and IKEA. And that’s true – every single woman in our company talked how much they are jealous of me spending a whole day in IKEA while guys just looked at poor Sing and reminded him that due to Bank Holiday and Long May Weekend he should be able to recover, but if he takes a sick leave no one will judge him.image (20)

And this past Saturday it finally happened. I woke up at 6AM, punched Sing around 7AM that we should be going and by 8AM we hit the road.

Have I ever told you there’s LITERALLY ONE IKEA in the whole Republic of Ireland? And it takes us literally more than 2 hours one way to get there. I could drive for one more hour, get to Belfast in Norther Ireland and try their IKEA? But as you know, when you’re waiting for something you’re full of energy and you just can’t wait.

We got there before 11AM and the first stop was… the cafeteria. Apparently Irish breakfast for less than 4 EUR is something Sing cannot resist. Considering that typical Irish breakfast contains around 1300 kcal that is what we needed before our journey.

Once fed we went on the adventure through the show room. I don’t remember other IKEAs I’ve been to but the one in Dublin has two floors – top floor used as a show room and bottom floor with a market hall.

We thought we were prepared – we had our shopping list done, we studied the floor plan, we even gave ourselves time limit. It was good for nothing.

First of all, you will never stick to your original shopping list. Since we had to buy furniture for every single room (2 bedrooms, living room, dining area) our list was FOURTEEN pages long. It did not include any small items image (21)like lamps or kitchen utilities. We went confidently through the show room just to change our mind with the color of the couch, the color of the chair and footstool, dining table (twice), TV set (different colors and combination) and mattress. The mattress was the worst because the one we chose was out of stock so we had to go back to the bedroom section TWICE in order to choose a different one and then to order it.

And have you ever tried to walk AGINST the arrows? People look at you like you have no sense of directions, but I’m sorry, I won’t do that circle again.

At exactly 15:37 I sent my mom picture of the receipt including the delivery fee and picking fee. I swear to you, it was the first time I heard that you need to pay extra if you want people to pick the parts for the delivery for you. So on the top of the regular bill we paid 155 EUR just for that.

To make matters worse, did you know if you pay for your stuff IKEA will send you your delivery on the first possible day? It’s good if you live in Dublin but when you live in Limerick where IKEA delivers only on Mondays and Thursdays it’s pain in the ass. image (18)We already had to rush the guys who to the renovation to make some of the rooms available in order to drop the packages on Thursday and we only got pushed to that day because we buy a lot.
It’s kinda bad in my opinion because if you chose Monday you basically lose whole weekend you could use to assembly all the furniture. And this is why this working week for me has only two days. BEST WEEK EVER!

Here insert small break for an IKEA famous hot dog and a cider. We charged our batteries with the sausage buns and we went down to the market hall.

If you think Mong Kok is the most crowded place on the Earth you haven’t seen Dublin’s IKEA on Saturdays. You don’t walk, you’re just pushed by the crowds.

I hope this part will be nice as I was really looking forward to it… until the dish drying rack I chose happened to be only in the showroom and I had to go there AGAIN. Once we got to storage section I saw Sing’s soul fading away. I nearly fell asleep in the lighting section… But we made it! We were at the checkout!

And as you know life, something had to went wrong – ceramic pot I chose was broken and Sing had to run back to get a good one. Now imagine a guy with literally no sense of décor to find exactly the same pot… By the time we paid for everything and do the car Tetris I saw Sing having much more grey hair. I think around 7PM, after 8 hours of shopping everyone would feel like spending a month with Momzilla.image (19)

After quick rice box in Chinatown we head back to Limerick and finally around 11PM we were done. I felt like someone sucked life out of me and my legs still hurt after that day. Over 7000 steps and nearly 6 km done in IKEA itself. Why did I even bother to buy a gym membership when I could just follow the arrows?

You have my word, I won’t go to IKEA again! Until they have a new collection. Till that time I will remember all the shelves and beds I had to assemble.

How do you like long shopping in general? Do you have any secret how to survive it as a couple? Share your funny stories and experience with us!

40 thoughts on “死都唔會再去IKEA,講笑啫!- not to serious: I won’t go to IKEA again!

  1. Oh poor you 🙂
    I remember too well my apartment renovations (done nearly completly by me !) and then the furniture hunt. Our ikea bedroom closet took me two days to assemble….it was a real pain. As I only use hand screwdrivers (not those machines) and no gloves my hands were like steel after two months of work!


    1. you’re not the first person I heard that had problems assembling the closet 😀 my coworker’s husband did it through the weekend as well 😀 we have beds, closet, chests of drawers, tables, shelves… I don’t think we will finish by Sunday night 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh God when I read you I can see my boyfriend and I. We were soon to move in our apartment in Beijing and I have the wonderful idea to go to IKEA on Saturday !!! SO MANY PEOPLE I WOULD DIE ! I was complaining about French IKEA but it’s better than China ! No possibility to go back from the arrow ! Searching for my boyfriend between other Chinese people and glasses and plates ! And no possibility to eat because too much people in the restaurant and at the cafeteria ! I became angry, he said “calm down, take back your jacket, you’re getting hot it’s for that reason your angry”. I’ve liked sooo much IKEA in France but I don’t wanna go there anymore !


      1. Haha that is a completely normal occurance here in China. Every single IKEA I’ve been to has had people either sleeping or watching tele(even though they only show ads) or even having a meal!And I don’t mean at the cafeteria, I mean at the actual dining table,which is FOR SALE.What an experience:)


    1. Chinese IKEAs are something else. You can’t really compare them to European ones.I like the brand but I refuse to go there in the afternoon or evening, and NEVER on the weekends!Mornings are(usually)much less chaotic.


  3. More than a trip to IKEA, it seems like a wilderness survival course! I’m glad you furnished your home, but I think it was a lot of work. The way that I survive shopping as a couple is to go shopping by myself! My husband hates shopping and doesn’t have an opinion on decorations, so he lets me pick everything up. Plus, he would get tired after eating the Irish breakfast and be ready to go home!


  4. OMG, I feel your pain. Also, not to scare you, we ordered a bus sleeper sofa from Ikea when we first moved into our house. It never showed. We kept calling, they kept promising and a month later they finally admitted that that sofa, which we had plainly seen and tested, DID NOT IN FACT EXIST.

    Good times.


  5. It is the opposite here. Here, IKEA is the expensive stuff. But still it is crowded beyond anybody’s business.

    I wonder what you will answer if Sing asks you next week: “Honey, do you want to go to IKEA again?” 😀


  6. We also bought some things in Ikea when we moved to our current apartment. Some of their things are good (wardrobes, sofa) but the bookshelves are so shitty. They look nice, but when my bf started assembling them at home I realized they are like mashed wood pieces glued together and then a sheet of plastic or something similar glued on top. Won’t buy their shelves again!

    If you had everything decided in advance I guess you had less problems, but we didn’t and almost started fighting in the middle of the exhibitions when my bf said he wanted a leather sofa. For a city with 38ºC and 95% humidity summers. OVER MY DEAD BODY!!

    PS. Did you see anyone sleeping? 😛


  7. That was exactly the same experience we had when we moved in to the current apartment! We did it a little different, did the tour, selecting what to buy, then ordered everything, everything online which we put off doing as you have to order all the little screws, hinges etc separately. It took a few days to assemble, but for the first time in years, it’s my/our furniture, so you don’t have to be too worried about chips etc. It was still as exhausting as your trip with a choice of 2 Ikeas within 30 minutes drive!


  8. So funny, Lina! At least the two of you survived. I do think that a trip to Ikea to select and then buy items is a true test for any couple! If we can survive that, and still be together, then it’s a miracle. Yes, I also say – I won’t go back, but after some time, I forget (???) the trauma and relive it all over again! hahaha! Only here, it is far worse – as you probably saw.


  9. :Surely it wasn’t 8 hrs. of shopping at IKEA? Best wishes for putting together all the furniture pieces.Make no missing screw, parts…very annoying.


  10. IKEA hell, I can relate, it took me 3 days to put a sofa together and then the whole house smelled like plastic and cardboard box… but I still love their stuff.


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