I’m sorry for the delays in my regular posting schedule. Luckily this weekend, I had few days off which I used as a getaway from Momzilla, because she was very close to driving me mad. On the other hand, she’s an excellent blogging material. I bet talking about Lunar New Year triggered the following events…
We all knew it will happen, but no one knew when. In-law Wars – The Momzilla Awakens. After a month she spent with us she finally became her real self. Constantly complaining and unhappy self.
I swear to you, I’m one of the most patient people you will meet in your life. I’m basically married to a big baby who constantly asks ‘Why?’ and whom I have to protect from tripping every now and then. Sing can ask me bazillion times about something but I will stay calm. My cat can scratch the shit out of me and I won’t be bothered by that.
She’s not a bad person, I know in her twisted little mind, underneath that terrible wet-looking perm she might be thinking she’s doing everything to make us happy, but so far she’s not doing a great job in making my life better.
Please, don’t underestimate her, she looks like an innocent old lady with bad hairstyle, but once she starts complaining she can talk about that one stupid issue for a week or longer.
She’s a walking contradiction. Let’s go through some of her ‘golden thoughts’ from just last month only!
- Why you don’t eat breakfast? I don’t care you’re not hungry until 10AM, I don’t care that you’re my Little Prince – I cook for you and you eat it. But I won’t cook for my daughter in law, because she won’t handle that kind of breakfast. She’s white and white people eat only bread and cereals.
- Why your wife doesn’t eat breakfast? She won’t be healthy enough to have a baby.
- Why am I making your breakfast? Why Na is not doing it? She should wake up earlier than you and prepare you a breakfast.
- Sandwiches are not breakfast. Only good breakfast is a warm one.
- Why Na looks so tired? Ask her to sleep more.
- Na, go buy food after work so they are fresh. Overnight veggies are not fresh.
- Why you do food shopping everyday? That’s waste of money. Do shopping once a week and no more. You won’t spend unnecessary money.
- Aya, those veggies gone bad after a week. Such a waste.
- Cravings? Forget about them.
- Missing item without which you cannot cook? Too bad, suck it up and think of cooking something else.
- You’re married to a Hong Kong man, you should follow his eating time. I don’t care you don’t like to eat late, good Hong Kong wife would wait for her husband.
- You want to celebrate Lunar New Year and spend money on decorations? Nah, you live in a Western country, don’t bother. You should be as Western as possible.
- I will cook enough rice to finish world hunger so my Little Prince can stuff himself like a pig, but I will never cook enough side dishes so they could comfortably eat without my complaints.
- Little Prince! Put food into your lunch box first, doesn’t matter that you want to see first how hungry you really are and eventually I could just cook more for you. Because screw logic.
- Na doesn’t eat much? She must dislike my food.
- Na eats too much in my very subjective opinion? She’s fat and she doesn’t care about my Little Prince!
- Last year I complained on weekly basis how bad it is to do laundry with a washing machine instead of hands. This year I will do laundry using the machine LITERALLY EVERY . SINGLE . DAY .
- Your slipped fell under the bed and you forgot about its existence until I found it? You’re so untidy! You should be ashamed!
- My undies drying on a heater in the place everyone can see them is completely fine. You know nothing.
I could be going on-and-on, but I probably would get upset again thinking about it over and over again.
To be honest, I don’t know how to handle her. I could handle her like I do with people complaining at work – just nod my head and ignore her, but sadly I cannot clock her out. I could try following her logic, but THERE IS NO LOGIC. Everything she says and does in the end doesn’t make sense.
She can be fun to read about, but if you lived my life you would know why I keep calling her Momzilla and not using her real name, like I use for Sing’s dad. He’s cool to whatever we’re doing.
Judging by the fact they are married for more than 30 years, I think I see the reason why he’s workaholic, spending 7 days a week at work. If I could, I would be the first one to go for non-paid OT at work.
The worst thing is… I KNOW she’s not a bad person and I just can’t hate her or be mad at her – which would be a much easier solution than thinking everyday how to be a better person in her mind. She can be really kind and caring. But once she starts complaining… God save us all!
And now here’s my question for you guys: if you were me, how would you handle Momzilla?
How knows, maybe you have Momzilla of your own? Share your opinions, stories and experience! And wish me luck! 🙂