有時真的只能放棄夢想 – sometimes you just have to give up your dream

I really don’t want to be one of those people on the Internet who just complain to get some words of sympathy, but I just have to tell my feelings to someone. Anyone, really.

I haven’t even said anything yet, but I already feel bad about this post. I mean, I have more than most of the people I know. I have a husband that loves me the most in the world, image (8)we both have a job that gives us a very decent lifestyle, I’m healthy, my family is more or less healthy. I have a roof above my head (with a wonderful view of Shannon river), I have food in my fridge (scale doesn’t lie, I’m definitely not starving). Why do I even complain?

I feel bad about not being able to fulfill one of my dreams and the good life I’m having now makes me feel even worse about it. Some people get terminally ill, some others have to struggle every day how to feed their families and I’m here, bitching about not being able to move to Hong Kong.

How silly is that? Very. But it eats me from the inside, because I don’t like to quit. When things are bad I just try to fix them and move on. Almost everyday I think – Why not? I don’t have the problem of legal status, as wife of a Hongkonger I can work. We have a place to stay for free if needed for and Momzilla might be buying another flat in near future. Sing’s promotion to a manager’s position is approaching. It’s like all the signs were saying ‘Pack Biscuit and move there. You even have UK plugs in all your current appliances’.

Now here’s the part where reality strikes every few weeks. The deal between us was if I land a job offer in Hong Kong, we will move. Momzilla, as generous she can be in rent-free stay, image (5)wouldn’t understand me not working. I cannot imagine the three of us having English-Cantonese-Shanghainese fights every nights over the fact that even if I bring money home, it’s not a regular income and, fairly said, not a big one either. Unless I take fast course of ‘Investment and stock exchange for Dummies’ and get a 6th sense providing big money.

But I see where she’s coming from. She gives us a place to live, of course she won’t want her precious little Prince to be the only rice-winner in the house. All the work pressure (which is huge in Hong Kong) would probably be only on him. Not to mention, babies cost. A lot. 

If you’re still reading my whining, here’s why I feel torn apart.

Every weekend I look through job offers in Hong Kong – I send my e-mails in both English and Cantonese. I apply for freelance writing, content writing positions, English teaching, internships. Whatever, just let me get some experience.
EVERY SINGLE WEEK I am ignored or treated as a second category person. I mean, I can understand why parents would prefer a native English speaker rather than a person who uses it as a second language, but why say it straight forward? Why don’t you even give me a chance to prove myself?
When I talk to my Irish/British co-workers they say they couldn’t tell I’m not using English as my primary language.
I know that my grammar might sometimes be off or the choice of the vocabulary might not be the same as it would be in case of native speakers, but at least give me that chance. Please. Or write that position is taken, it would be less depressing that no respond or ‘Sorry, we look for native speakers only’.

It makes me doubt myself as a writer and as a person. Am I not worth the answer? Am I really that bad in what I’m doing? 

image (7)I’m not beautiful to be a model, smart to land a great job bringing thousands or born with a ‘right passport’ (I hope you don’t get it the wrong way, but at least in Hong Kong some employers still judge the foreign workers by their nationalities).
So is there no place for me in Hong Kong? Even though I love it so much?

Well, sometimes love is not enough. Just like with relationship, you might love someone from the bottom of your heart, but it doesn’t mean you are meant to be together.
I guess that’s what happens to me and Hong Kong.

It makes me hate those ‘Inspirational quotes’ like ‘Fulfill your dreams’, ‘Don’t give up’, ‘Risk and don’t regret’ – I know I could force Sing to go back, but I also know that under current circumstances it would be a family disaster. Which also makes me a bit of a hypocrite because I would tell you to follow your heart, but I wouldn’t do it myself.

At this point, I nearly gave up. I still send the resume and pieces of my writing, but I don’t hope for a respond anymore. I slowly started to look for a flat to buy in Ireland and how to settle here. I need stability in my life again. Ireland is not bad for me, as I said – we have a decent life here. It’s just not a place that makes me happy.

Of course I won’t stop learning Cantonese, I won’t stop writing this blog because I could meet amazing people like you, but I realized the fact that not every dream can come true. It doesn’t matter how hard you try – look at Sing and chocolate. Won’t happen. image (6)

Huh, I think I let it all out. I might regret that post few minutes after publishing, but I just had to say it out loud.
Please, don’t think of me as a person with a negative attitude. Most of the time I will try to make your day happier, but even I can’t be happy all the time.

Do you have any word of advise? Have you felt in a similar way? I know I’m not the only one and my problem might not seem as a problem to you (honestly, I shouldn’t see it as a problem either), but I don’t want to be disappointed with myself anymore.

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134 thoughts on “有時真的只能放棄夢想 – sometimes you just have to give up your dream

  1. Maybe it’s not meant to be just now, but it’ll happen at some point in the future. Perhaps don’t give up your dream just park it for now and come back to it when the times right. I wish you Good luck!

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    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I keep postponing my motherhood plans because I don’t want to move across the world with a little baby but the move doesn’t seem to be any near and I don’t know how eventual baby would affect it. I know it might sound weird, plenty of people move with babies but I just want to settle down in one spot. Prepare that baby room, have one doctor. I know eventually we will go back in 10-15 years for sure but I’m tired of unstable life and getting disappointed every day 😦

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      1. What seems like the best plan now might seem like the strangest idea ever in a few years. Try to go with the flow, it’ll be ok eventually, it might just not be in the order you first thought you wanted. Things have a way of working out in the end.

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  2. I lived and worked in Hong Kong for nearly 2 years and whilst I do still have days where I hanker for the more diverse life I had there I am happy back in my native Scotland with my Irish other half. I do sympathise though and I know first hand how tough the Hong Kong job market can be. An English friend of mine who had a Chinese father (who had also been born and brought up in England) was told to try and look less Chinese for her job interviews (we were English teachers). I was told that my chest was too big and would have to hide it (I was hardly flaunting it in the first place!) and at one interview they dismissed all the teaching I had done previously in Mainland China as apparently that didn’t count (the snobbery towards mainland Chinese people is awful at times). And yes time, and time again I just didn’t hear back after I had applied for jobs. Then when you do get a interview you have to state the salary you want, too high and they won’t employ you because you have silly ideas, too low and they won’t employ you as if you don’t value your services then why should they. It was so hard! Anyway I do hope things turn out well for you and I hope that somehow you manage to find your happy place whether it is in Ireland, Hong Kong or elsewhere

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  3. Just my opinion but your English writing is nearly impeccable. If I went over it with a red pen there might be a couple of little tweaks but it is quite impressive, especially if it’s not your native tongue. N.

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  4. Hey Lina! First of all, your English and your writing are excellent and I don’t say that to cheer you up, it’s a simple true fact. Then, you should know better, Asians/Chinese don’t go straight to the points when they are wrong, BUT they can be harsh and more than straight forward when they are in a dominant position, which is the case of potential employers. Also, i think in Hkg as in China nowadays, job seekers are so many that your chance to get a job would be higher if you were there already (please don’t cry!). I know exactly your feeling as I wish every single day for a chance to move back to Guangzhou. I cry at least once a week because as you said it’s painful inside. I bought an apartment in France last year with my husband and keep telling myself it does not have to be a final and unchangeable situation but making the decision to sell it and leave would be anti-couple décision-making… Just go on with your life and maybe the future will surprise you in a good manner! Thanks for sharing, i love your sincerity and honesty with yourself and us.

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    1. Oh, I hope you and your family is safe. Since Saturday I can only hear bad news from France 😦
      Buying a flat, for me it’s like an ultimate tie down – I know it can be sold, but I’m a person who just wants to chose a place to live and stay there. My parents still live in the same place I grew up and I can’t imagine it any other way

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      1. Thanks for your kind words, we’re safe, hopefully, but the time to get good news from just everyone has been horribly long… Before, I was feeling the same way as you do now (about purchasing your place and staying in it forever). But things changed in my mind, with time. Anyway, I hope you’ll end up making a happy decision, whatever it is. Best of luck!

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  5. We’re the generation who have been told that we can ‘fulfill our dreams’ and ‘reach for the stars’ but the reality is, not everyone can. I recently moved back to the UK and gave up a writing job that I loved – now I’m working as a receptionist, and I applied for at at least 50 jobs before I even got this – lots of rejection and non- response. Like you, I feel guilty for even thinking about complaining because there are so many good things in my life, especially compared to other people. But we all have the right to feel down. And I still believe that if you keep on trying for something, you will get there somehow – even if it takes a while. I wish you the best of luck! I hope you get there 🙂

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  6. Hi pardon that I don’t read your blog often, but I follow your page and saw this post somehow (thx Facebook: not all posts are shown from pages you know). From what I see, you currently don’t live in HK but wish to apply a job in HK, Is that right? Are you applying work that needs to be in HK? If so would that require some patient boss to wait for you to return?
    It’s quite a surprise that you couldn’t find a job easily. Your bilingual skill will be of advantage to servicing industry (if you don’t mind working). Being a teacher? I see one may need some certificates (even for pre-school teachers they are all equipped with education diploma). And since being teachers is the easiest way to start working in hk as Caucasians, naturally there are lot of competitions from English speaking natives like British or Australians, who may not get to find a job in HK of what they are doing professionally (true story from my colleague’s gf who is a banker in AU and wants to come to work with him).

    Seeing the noodle shop 三哥米線 is hiring waitresses at $14k a month, I don’t see why this labour market can’t fit in someone special like you who can speak Cantonese, but securing a post for landing Is difficult, and you probably need to find a bread before finding your dream job again. Good luck

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    1. I can read and write in Cantonese, but my spoken Cantonese is terrible (I started to learn really late so I simply cannot make some of the sounds and fit into the right tones) that’s why I wanted to focus on writing. I got some smaller (and bigger) gigs, but that’s it – nothing more came out of that.
      But thank you for your comment!

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  7. You cannot help how you feel. None of us can. I think it’s brave and honest to admit our sorrow, our discouragement, and even our anger. (Stupid Hong Kong companies! Rethink your hiring practices! I know several Germans who speak more grammatically correct English than many Americans.)

    Yes, we have it better than so many people. So what? There’s a place where you want to live, where you feel happy or at home. For me, it’s New Hampshire. Away from smog and the desert, among trees and quiet, with seasons. I don’t know that I will ever get there. There are no jobs in our fields. Andy makes the big money, has the health insurance, and so here we are, trapped in Los Angeles. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still dream of driving on an empty, two-lane road and stopping for moose instead of a thousand brake lights in front of me. Andy looks for jobs, we look at properties, and we visit when we can.

    So I’d say, give yourself permission to feel everything, down to despair. Mourn a little. And then maybe, if it doesn’t hurt too much to sometimes revisit your dream, set aside a day a week, or a month, or once a year, and send out your resume. Just in case. Maybe start a website to help Cantonese-speakers with various English idioms.

    Because while you can’t help what you feel, you can decide how to act. After you are done feeling like crap, of course.

    And if your chance at Hong Kong does come, you will know to grab on tight with both hands and never let go. Momzilla be damned.

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  8. Dam Ci jedna małą radę, może nie jest to jakaś super rada, lecz może coś zdziała, do swoich listów z CV dołączaj filmik jak mówisz po angielsku/kantońsku/w innym języku jaki znasz i ewentualnie polsku. Nie zdziała to cudu, ale ktoś kto zobaczy Twoje ogłoszenie i od razu pomyśli “nie, szukam dalej”, ale natknie się na filmik kliknie na niego choćby z ciekawości i może pewnego dnia da to efekt 🙂

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  9. Job hunting in HK is indeed tough and frustrating. I also made my experiences… But I heard from other people that it’s easier to get a job in HK as a foreigner when you are there (even if you don’t have a work visa yet). I still don’t get how the salary there is so low compared to the living costs.

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  10. hey! i’m in a similar boat as you- about to graduate from university and hoping to land a job in hong kong because i love it there so much. i’ve been sending resumes and applying for jobs as well but have either been ignored or rejected (better than no reply). a few of my friends were telling me it’s easier to apply for jobs when you’re there because they’re looking for immediate availability (and teaching English is the best option to go if you’re not into finance/business, i know a few people who made quite a few bucks) hope this helps!

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  11. I think your English is perfect. But I agree, when you want a baby it would be the easiest if it had one place to live, to avoid stress for yourself also… And about the jobs, I think it’s a little everywhere? My boyfriend might get fired in a few months, but we still don’t know and we have a 2 months old baby. I’m still at home taking care of her. No answers either from jobs. Its very frustrating. But I hope it works out for you soon. So you can start a family too, good luck

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  12. Well what to say except ‘shit happens’. It will end and good things will come again at least I learned this as well the hard way. Hong Kong might not happen this year, or next year or even the year after but that doesn’t mean you should give up as there will be some opportunity for you at some point.
    I had my dreams of becoming an Olympic Champ just to have one misery happen after the other for several years until I just couldn’t motivate myself to go on with the sport anymore. Now I am happily married, life seems well except my illness, money is not a problem for us now and in case I survive the next few years there will be even a house for my family to enjoy. Sure my big dream didn’t really work out at all but I created a new dream which is not that bad either 🙂

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  13. Sorry you’re feeling down, life’s not easy sometimes, even when you have so much. Like AChinaCat says, we have been told we can have it all, so finding out we can’t it so tough. I feel this way about having a career, something I’m leaving for later now.
    You are young, life is long, you’ve had many adventures already. Maybe the next adventure is being a mum. But if you want to live in HK, you will get there. Maybe when your children go to high school, or university, or are all grown up.
    But life certainly doesn’t stop when you have babies, and you don’t know how you’ll feel when you’re a mum.
    We dream of a life in the UK, a semi-detached house, employment rights, fresh air and mild summers. That’s not possible right now, but I’m not putting my life on hold. We’ll get there, but for now I’m trying to make the most of life. And it sounds like you’re doing a good job of that too.

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  14. i hear your frustration. best advice: deep breathe, let go and stay light, have some regular fun. 🙂
    about the resume, have you asked a friendly employer why they didn’t pick you and if they could offer any suggestions on what you could to improve your resume?

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  15. I can totally relate and have been dealing with this for almost 18 years. The minute I agreed to marry Cai, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay in Hong Kong forever. That seemed like a selfish thing to think when I was supposedly marrying the man of my dreams. I stayed away for many years, but have returned three times in the last three years. Another friend thinks I should go back on a regular basis because it’s still a big part of me. So I think you and Sing should do the same. Maybe if you go every year, you won’t feel so far away from it. It’s not the same as living there, but better than nothing. This last time I was in HK, though, it was very depressing to leave. I felt like I was leaving behind what could have been. I’m trying to plot my next trip back, this time with my kids, but wonder if it will be just as difficult to leave again. Or would it be better to give it some time before going back again?

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      1. I think someone else had good advice about finding a job once you’re there. I tried looking for a job in Hong Kong from afar, but couldn’t find one. Then I moved there and found one through a recruiter (for an entry level job, so it wasn’t like I needed a ton of skills), but then got into grad school and couldn’t work. You could also move to Hong Kong and study. The Chinese University has a great Cantonese program. Or you could study something else. That’s how I got a long-term visa there. Don’t give up!

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        1. I’m not worried about my legal status since I’m married to Sing, but the problem is the problem is once we give up good jobs here there’s no returning back. Technically there is, since Sing will have EU card allowing him to be back and work here, but what’s the point of moving back and forth? We already burned the bridges in the US, if we fail in HK – where do we go? Move again? that’s why I’m scared

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  16. For a long time reading your blog I didn’t know English wasn’t your first language. Don’t get discouraged about your abilities. Many talented people aren’t able to find their dream jobs. I know how you feel about not wanting to complain when you have it good but things bug you. That’s part of life’s ups and downs. I was back in America after quitting my job in Japan, and and I was waiting on replies from job recruiters to tell me I could finally move to Korea and be with my fiancé. I pretty much said whatever and bought a plane ticket to Seoul. The day before my flight, I got a job offer for a place I liked the most. It was scary for a long time when I was worried about getting a job, but it worked out and now I try not to complain at work when stuff bothers me because I’m lucky to be here at all. Keep your chin and know that stuff happens when you least expect it. I hope you can move to HK so we can visit each other ^^

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  17. I also would love to work as an English teacher in Hong Kong, and have seen how strict their policies are. I think they mean no hard directly to you, but it’s just such a hard place to find a job. Try and apply for kindergarten jobs, they usually are kinder towards not 100% perfect grammar teachers.

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  18. Here are my two cents. I think that times when you can land a job while not being in the country have finished. There are so many applicants from around the world that recruiters have to filter them somehow. I’ve seen it many times in Singapore. If Sing can secure a job first, then move and give it a try. I know how it sounds but I packed my life into one suitcase and moved with my partner when only I had a job secured (for 6 months only!). It didn’t turn out great for both of us from work perspective but moving to Singapore was the best decision ever. Never give up on your dreams! We almost bought a flat in Poland before moving here and I am glad we didn’t – mortgage would stop us from taking a risk. I am thinking, maybe Sing can get an assignment in HK first? So you will be there in person and can take some interviews. I’ve sent hundreds of applications before I started getting responses. Sorry for chaotic thoughts 🙂

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    1. I keep our HK address, I kept my sim-card, I don’t know how would they know I’m not currently there. It’s not a problem for Sing to move, I’m sure at this point of his career he can find a job. It’s his mother who wouldn’t understand my eventual unemployment. Maybe for a month or two she wouldn’t say a thing, but then… Jesus, that would be a nightmare. But I’m happier to read that things worked out for you and you’re happy! That means maybe one day I will have the same chance hah 🙂

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  19. I dream of moving back to Japan, sooner rather than later. Ever since we left to move to San Francisco, I’ve missed it terribly. I felt like our lives were on hold in the States. I wanted an income, but my visa did not allow me to work, I wanted a baby, but our Japanese health insurance did not cover pregnancy and having a baby in America costs a fortune and I didn’t feel like the Bay Area was a very safe place for kids anyways. Now we temporarily live in the U.K. And okay it’s not Japan compared to America it has been heavenly: we both got jobs, we had a baby and we rent an affordable large apartment in a beautiful and safe town. I’m still dreaming about moving back to Japan, but at least one of my dreams came true: I’m a mother now. We’re not settling here forever (after the husband finishes his dream – a PhD – will move on – hopefully to Japan), but we’re enjoying settling here temporarily. Everyone has dreams, and many of us feel desperate to achieve them, we work hard to get there but some dreams take longer to become true. I read above you put your mommy plans on hold until you get to Hong Kong. Maybe focus on being a mommy first, now the HK plan is working yet. My family moved between countries when we were kids and it thought us to be adaptable. I’m excited to move internationally with our son, show him the world. Anyways, not everything always goes as planned and being frustrated is normal. Thanks for sharing your struggle.

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  20. Hi Lina, I’m sorry time hear about it. I know it can be tough to move to a different country. But at the meantime do cheer up and come up with a game plan. At least Sing is with you along the way.

    Job market here in Hong Kong is tough. Many of the employers are not willing to hire people that are currently living overseas because they want the candidates to start as soon as possible. Of course they want to meet candidates face to face too. So that front is difficult.

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  21. Hi Lina, I’m sorry time hear about it. I know it can be tough to move to a different country. But at the meantime do cheer up and come up with a game plan. At least Sing is with you along the way.

    Job market here in Hong Kong is tough. Many of the employers are not willing to hire people that are currently living overseas because they want the candidates to start as soon as possible. Of course they want to meet candidates face to face too. So that front is difficult. it’s much easier to be in HK already and have a work right to show to the employers, just to reassure them that they don’t need to go to the immigration to justify a work visa for you.

    My other point is that over 80% of jobs arent advertised. You need either a strong network or have a skill that will differentiate you from others. So, you are native in Polish and that can be advantageous because traders between HK and eastern Europe as a whole is growing , so for a company to have a person. who speaks Polish and understand the culture is important to them. Or maybe you can teach Polish ( niche market but that will giveyou
    lots of earnings):-)

    Phil

    ps It took almost 4 years for my wife (then fiancee ) to join me in HK due to various work and personal reasons. So have a plan and try to realise it. You both are still young to move.

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      1. Yes indeed. It wasn’t easy, but we came thought it. We kept formulating multiple plans, kept changing them as opportunity came. We had considered UK, US, Shanghai, Japan and HK as potential places to reunite after getting married due to possibly in our jobs. And we finally settled in HK last year. Who know where it will take us next in a few years time. Maybe we’ll still be in HK or maybe somewhere else… Keep strong

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  22. I feel that the opinion of Sing’s mother is still just that: an opinion. Perhaps to you both it might feel like some divine order that can’t possibly be refused, but if children really are planned in the future I think that given the long hours many Hong Kong people work, some parents spend on average, “Less than half an hour per day” with their child.

    I do think that the greatest gift a parent can give is time; especially at an early age. Most ladies I know who do work do so because it is a necessity; especially now with the insanely high real estate prices.

    They would quit their job TODAY if it were feasible to do so.

    Grandchildren also tend to soften even the hardest of (grand)parents!

    However, you mentioned another issue: An extremely tragic issue that will require some sort of intervention, counselling and perhaps even psychiatric care…

    Sing’s dislike of chocolate. This is the real issue at hand!

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    1. Sadly, Sing is working circa 12 hours a day in this company, everyone will call him after hours or on weekends – so I don’t even know if he would have time to be a daddy in Ireland either.
      BTW the fact that Sing hates chocolate is actually one of the reasons I married him – I always get his dessert 😀

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  23. I feel sorry for you, Lina. Looking for a job you like can be tough 😦 It is the same here in Australia where the job market is super competitive and if you don’t have a post-graduate degree it’s a bit hard to get anywhere in your career.

    Perhaps you can look for other jobs in Hong Kong that aren’t writing or teaching English. For a long time I applied for media and research jobs but got no where. But once I started applying for practically every single job that I saw that fit my skills, I got a job. That was a few years ago and it was a job that I didn’t like, but then over time I changed jobs and things have become better. Good luck 🙂

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      1. Maybe you could get a written translation document job or something along those lines, that might work. Or perhaps data entry work in English or Cantonese. Or work for a company in Hong Kong that deals with English-speaking clients or customers. Not everyone’s English is perfect in Hong Kong 🙂

        Like a few others have said, family opinion is one thing. At the end of the day, only ourselves know what makes us happy. It really does not sound like Ireland is the place for you, and I hope you find your way. I know it will work out 🙂

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  24. Sorry to hear about all the issues you’ve been going through! It sounds cheesy, but perhaps the timing just isn’t right yet! 🙂 And when you do find a job, it’ll be great. I’m in the same boat where I live a decent life, but simply ready to move onto somewhere/something different. My boyfriend is also struggling to find a job in a new industry and is commonly overlooked because he doesn’t have the experience/training they’re looking for. So both of you will just have to keep at it, and I’m sure something will come along!

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    1. I keep my fingers crossed for your boyfriend, some companies with big rotation of people might be a good place to at least gain some experience and put it to resume… or he can just bull…. things for jobs in foreign countries and put you as a contact point haha 😉

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  25. This is YOUR blog, so you can bitch and whine as much as YOU want. Don’t worry about what other people think.

    I have to commend you for being realistic about your situation. Sometimes we have to be grown ups and realize that just because we want something, doesn’t mean that we must definitely get it regardless of consequences. If you take the desperate plunge and move in with Momzilla without a proper plan, I think you will soon find yourself hating HK and wanting to move away again.

    On another note, have you ever considered some other professions? I don’t think there are a lot of writing or teaching jobs in HK to be honest. It is a commerce center, not education or literary center. And unfortunately, there are A LOT of British expats there, if you are an employer there, you would also prioritize native English speakers. It is nothing personal here… Or maybe you could get advice from fellow Polish expats there? You seem to have quite a few of them as readers. Maybe they could give you better advice on what type of jobs to aim for.

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    1. Polish expats are mostly sent there by their Polish companies and since there are around 300 of them only, there’s not much help.
      Now I’m helping one big company to be their ‘point of contact’ with HK social media celebrities, but it’s more like a side gig rather than being there for longer.

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  26. Oh Lina, I’m so sorry for you. I forget sometimes the insane privilege that comes with an Anglo passport on top of being white, middle class etc etc. I saw someone mention entrepreneurship? Maybe if you can develop and run a little business, like a website, it would help prove you are as fluent as most natives.

    As an aside — my French friend was hired as an English tutor in Taiwan, she was quite deluded about her English but so insanely confident that she spoke native English that if anyone questioned her accent/vocabulary she would bulldozer them with her assertion that “Yeah that’s cos I ‘ave h’an Aussie h’accent!” Maybe you can do the same!

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  27. Thank you for being honest. I have to sleep, partly because I’m trying to live my dream by working on my writing before I go to sleep, but I wanted to say, no, you’re not whining. It’s the truth. Finding work is tough and finding it where you want it can be even tougher. People are age are promised the world and made to feel that if we don’t get it, it is because of some fault of our own, but I’ve learned it’s not. Sometimes, we have to throw out the game place that’s been given to us and start over and that game plan may start even with the idea that you need a job from someone else, or that more education is a good investment, or that you need all the things the older generations find necessary. Everyone’s list is a little different.

    Your written English is good, quite good. I do some ghost writing, believe me, your writing is better than some native writing, but miles. Getting recognized is difficult. I would say, don’t give up, but also, get creative, think around corners, find the crooked path.

    Sorry, have to sleep, but I’m wishing you well.

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  28. My words of advice are based on my experience. I stuck too long to my original plan. But it was never going to happen. I should have started sooner to get serious about a “Plan B.” I find that when I get involved in something new, as time passes and I learn more about it, it becomes more and more interesting and I love it more. I heard about someone who was a public speaker. He asked the hundred or so people in his audience how many of them were following their original goal. One person raised his hand. When he asked how many had found a “Plan B,” more people raised their hands. Then he asked about Plans C, D, and E, and finally the rest of the audience raised their hands.

    It’s good to have clear goals and deeply felt dreams, but know when to let go. Your “Plan B” may turn out to be even better.

    Like

  29. Lina, sometimes it takes more than having the right passport to land an English teaching position. I know some foreigners who have been turned down for positions because they didn’t meet the other requirements [you need at least a bachelor’s degree to teach English in many Asian countries.] Also, it kind of who you know and getting your foot in the door. I know some who landed jobs from subbing at schools. A good reputation goes a long way as well.

    Honestly, I bet some of these jobs are filled in a day or two. For example, I responded to an ad one day, had an interview and did a demo the next, and was offer the job on the spot.

    So, honestly, don’t take it personally.

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    1. I don’t mean the right passport gives you job right away but to be honest HK is still that kind of place that gives you points for that. I understand why people would want a native speaker as a teacher, but in writing you can’t hear the accent. And when they see my maiden surname, which doesn’t sound anything like Smith, they already judge me. If you know what I try to say 🙂

      Like

      1. I know what you mean.

        Have you tried reaching out to expats living in HK? For example, each area in Taiwan has a facebook page where people can advertise jobs, ask for other people to substitute teach for them, ask general questions, etc. Believe me, sometimes having the right connections is key.

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  30. I have had feelings like yours in the past. I speak Mandarin, I have lived here for a long time, I know how to work with Chinese people… and still, it is not that easy for me to find jobs. Most of the offers for foreigners are for teaching English. In Jiangsu, the province where I live, if you are not a native speaker you cannot get a work visa to teach English. Apart from that, many schools are racists and only want white native speakers (in their eyes, a white American with no teaching experience and education would be better than a black or Asian American with a phd in teaching English). Anyway, not that I want to teach English 😛 I think you can try another approach: what is your main selling point? In HK, where everybody speaks Cantonese and many people speaks English, your big selling point can be Polish. Yes, there will be less works related to Polish but there will also be less competition. That is what I did (well, with Spanish) and it worked in the end! Also, usually companies tend to prefer people that is already in the city where the job is. And as someone said upstairs, most of the job offers are not even published… If Sing had an offer from HK and you decided to move there, I think you would find a job in a few weeks time! Don’t give up 🙂

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    1. At this point there’s literally nothing to do connected to Polish in HK – there are only circa 300 Poles living there. French is more popular than Polish so I can’t really be a teacher haha. I enjoy writing and social media, I help one company right now to be their connecting point to HK social media celebrities but that’s more like a side gig.

      Like

  31. With your good english and Hong Kong connection, especially the right to work…

    As a local here, I don’t think you’ll have much difficulty in securing a job. Whether it’s a cushy well-heeled job is another story, but if you’re just ok to do any office job for the time being, I honestly don’t think you’ll have any difficulty. Speaking from personal experience, and from many other New Zealand friends (yes, I’m from there) in Hong Kong…

    If you do decide to make a move back, and need any assistance, hey, contact me! All the best for your dream!

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  32. i feel for you, lina. it is never easy when it comes to finding a job in a foreign country. i know what it’s like. it’s never a fun thing. one can’t help but always feel being seen as secondary when one lives in a foreign country. because many a times, we do get treated so. it’s probably one of the many reasons why i never did apply for a green card back when i used to live in the USA. i do hope your job search would fruit a happy ending. you and sing deserve that much.

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  33. Thanks for sharing – I am experiencing the same problem being an Enlish-as-second-language foreigner in the States. I love writing but people don’t seem to like my writing style.

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  34. Ughh! Sure sounds like a bad dream. But. You haven’t given up. Perhaps some things just need to be worked out first before this desired move. Time has a way of working things out.

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  35. I hear you! I often feel my dreams are just that dreams that can’t cross over to reality. Dreams you adjust. Some are dreams the keep you going, daydreams. Others you can work at. I’m not sure if you currently hold a TELF certificate: Teach English As Foreign Language. I took mine with http://www.i-to-i.com all online/distance learning and didn’t cost much (it was 8 years ago, so many now it’s more) as well as their TEFL to kids course. Some frown it’s online distance learning but you have the qualification. Your English is prefect, so you needn’t worry too much that the course goes into grammar quite at bit. I’m a native speaker who’s crap at spelling yet passed! To be honest you only really teach the basics if you need to teach English. The hard grammar stuff is for higher level learners etc. Check out TELF courses. Even if you don’t go for TELF jobs, you have a a certificate that says, hey you it’s my 2nd language but I passed the heavy grammar course! On reflection, I know a girl or rather read her blog and follow on IG who’s German and is teaching English in China for a year. If she can teach it, get a qualification for it, so can you!

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  36. I’ve just read some other comments: set up your own business there: you like clothes or review them, work with that, Poland/Hong Kong/China connection, Polish Hong Kong tourism, is there a Polish consulate their, any other Polish businesses you could work for? Do they need a Polish Cantonese liaison person? Or USA/Polish/HK company/liaison person!

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  37. Hey Lina, just wanted to write a comment to say I think it’s great you shared this on your blog. Nobody is happy all the time and sometimes we have things we just need to put out there.

    I’m sure you’ve probably done all of the usual things, including using Sing’s guanxi, to find positions, so I’m not sure I have any really great advice in that department. Short of hunting for jobs in person, it’s invariably going to be tough. I wonder why “Momzilla” doesn’t offer you the chance to find a job after moving to Hong Kong. That seems much fairer than expecting you to have a job in hand before going there.

    Is there a way you can visit HK sometime during a break or the holidays to go job hunting?

    Finally, don’t give up! Please!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think it’s because once we give up life here (Sing earns really nice money, I can’t complain either) than there’s no return back – she won’t understand why would we give up this lifestyle we have now for crowded Hong Kong. Sigh, sigh.

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  38. I so understand how you feel, and I am feeling like this for more than a year now. As the weather gets darker and colder, it becomes even worse these days. I cry a lot and am moody all the time. And sometimes it seems like nothing can make me happy at all. I feel defeated by any little thing occuring.

    And don’t give up, at least you get a refusal. When I was looking for a new job some years ago, I send out 40 job applications in a few days and guess how many answers I got? Three, and I only got one of these after a year and I didn’t even remember anymore that I send you an application.

    Maybe you can find a Polish company doing business in HK, then you at least could get a “home field advantage”.
    Or maybe at the Polish consulate general? Polish lessons?
    Or maybe try to get a certificate to teach English as a second language at an institute first?

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Hi Lina, looking at people message tonight, it is good to know that you have such a strong network of people who come to comfort you and offer you advice at time of sadness. That’s something not everyone has. I don’t know what other folks are thinking, but my door is always open if you want help or advice from me – I’m happy to PM you if you wish.

    By the way, in some of your comments you mentioned that there isn’t much Polish related job or indeed trade between HK and Poland. But before you make up your mind, I want you to see the facts from HKTDC webpage and in particular the bottom half of page. http://emerging-markets-research.hktdc.com/business-news/article/Europe/Poland-Market-Profile/mp/en/1/1X000000/1X0010BP.htm

    OK, these may not be the ideal job you want, but at least it’s a starter to get a foot into the HK job market.

    Regarding to establishing network here in HK, have you ever consider InterNations – http://www.internations.org ? It is a global expat group with which the HK chapter has over 15,000 members. It’s good way to meet people. People organise outings, business networking events, evening drinks etc. You can meet great people through all of these events. You never know, this may land you a job? Myself, as one of the Adventure Group consuls here in HK, I help organise various hikes, camping trips, SUP, which you might have already seen in my blog. Personally, I have made good friends and have met great people through here. It helped me to get through the loneliness of being in HK at the beginning when I moved back to HK after being 10 years away.

    Other than Internations, there are other groups at Meetup.com such as the HK startups, business networking, Cantonese exchange, adventure, volunteering groups and many more…

    So the possibility is endless. At the end of the day, it is a joint decision between you and Sing, and as I say you both need to come up with a game plan and multiple backups.

    I wish you both the best of luck.

    Phil

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  40. Hi Paulina, I have been following your blog for awhile now but I don’t believe I’ve ever made it to commenting before. Today this post really hit me and while I don’t really have any advice to give, I would like to share my story, letting you know that you’re not the only one out there.

    For the longest time my dream was to leave Taiwan, study abroad, work and BE in an environment. OK a little backstory. I was born in Taiwan, lived in Florida when I was 2-5. Come back and went to an international schools. For the bigger part of my life I was surrounded by “American born Chinese”, my classmates went back to California every summer, so while we lived in Taiwan, we were also white-washed in many ways, resulting in very unique individuals that don’t quite fit in anywhere. At the end of high school, all my friends that held American passports went back to the States to continue their studies and careers (which was about 99.9% of them). I was left behind. My family loves me very much, they were very supportive, but I knew it would just be a HUGE burden of them to finance me. I couldn’t bear to see my parents and little brother succumb to fugal living just so I can get an education abroad.

    Today, I am STILL in Taiwan, the dream of living abroad seems further and further away from me. Taiwan, like Hong Kong, are quite superficial when reviewing resumes. Like you, I have applied for many foreign companies in positions like English secretary, International PR, English Editor, but NEVER heard back. I’m not going to boast, but my English is above average of most people in Taiwan, but the fact that I don’t hold a foreign passport AND I do not hold a diploma from overseas, people don’t even give me a chance! Instead they hire all the other Taiwanese who were fortunate enough to have wealthy parents to send them overseas for a degree! I won’t consider myself a native speaker, but English and I have been together every since I was a baby. When I travel abroad, people ask me if I’m from California.

    Sorry for rambling…but I haven’t given up trying. I’m still browsing for job opportunities here and there, trying to be optimistic of the whole situation. And also, reminding myself that it’s OK to be different and I have to remain confident and believe in myself.

    Guess what I wanted to say is: Hang in there Paulina, I feel for you, I really do.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. I understand you! When I moved to a more Chinese Cantonese section of Western Canada (from East Coast Mediterranean culture/family in America) after marring my CBC husband, I had no idea what life would bring. Sure I could work in my old job field there in Canada, but it just didn’t seem applicable anymore. I now work along side my husband to help him fulfill his dream of having his own business. We are slowly..slowly getting a business going. As for my own dreams, I really have no idea anymore. I enjoy hosting AMWF Love on Facebook just for the sake of being able to support people like ourselves who live in a western and asian lifestyle. My personal passions and hobbies seem like an option, but nothing consistent in terms of making a living from them really. I feel like in my mind I live in two places, Canada and America, but neither seem like the perfect home for me. It’s kinda weird, right? Visiting back home and keeping in touch with my family there helps me stay connected. I can understand how you feel connected to HK as well as your native home.

    Perhaps rather then thinking of it as giving up on a dream, think of the dream as the ability to change and grow. To have the options to live one place or another in the world, or to start a new career, or life goals. Maybe right now your husband needs the time to work on his dream/career, and you need the time to be there for you little one. Keep up what you are doing, keep your options open, don’t be disappointed if your not getting what you think you want now. Perhaps there is something amazingly better for you when the time is right!

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  42. Lina,
    I liked your post a lot. Many times I too have felt my blog post was too negative, but the reality is that’s how I felt at the time.
    As many have mentioned above, the sad fact is that most companies in EVERY country are very superficial about who they hire or not.

    I too think that if you were there; your chances would be greatly enhanced, but I appreciate your analysis of the mother-in-law situation and that can not be ignored.
    Keep trying. Trite as it sounds, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    Are you Polish? If so, I also like the idea of finding some company that is doing business with Poland. Try to get at least some contacts and don’t worry about writing per se.
    Lastly, my Dutch ex-wife , who wrote and spoke far better than I, never could find a writing job in the US.
    Just shows that people/companies are stupid everywhere.

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  43. Hi Lina, I really feel for you. I am in a position currently where sometime I can recommend people for work ( in mainland china). ive recommended many non-native speakers, simply because, their english is perfect or near perfect, they are great teachers, etc etc, and all I ever here from coworkers or others is ‘but he/she is not a native speaker” or ‘the have an accent”. it makes me very cross.

    about your dreams – you have many good advices here. so i dont need to give much. but i will say, sometimes difficult things in our lives are what makes us, builds our strenght of character etc. whle we go thru these difficult times of course, we dont think that, we curse our fate. and just because others have much worse positions than us, doesnt mean we should lose our dreams. remaining in gratitude for what we do have is always a positive thing – as you have expressed above ( in English thats as good as native speakers let me add to the chorus) – so why dont you think of it as – we are lucky to have these good paying jobs here, so right now we are going to enjoy our lifestyle and save for us much as we can for when we do go back to hongkong, because damn, we are going to need the money then!!

    why not try a break from all the relentless job searches. after so many disappointments the energy of disappointment is probably in all the jobs you apply for – let it rest for a while, intend to the universe that that is what you would like, and sit back and get on with life. life is to short to give up on dreams, but some dreams take longer to come into being than others.

    i know after living in china for over a decade, each time i try to go home, it doesnt work out. china/hong kong lifestyle just gets into you, its hard not to miss it. so dont give up but be realistic about your expectations. expect miracles and know that miracles can happen if you allow them the space to enter your life.

    refocus on the delights of every day and imagine the happy times in hong kong when you do go back, and in the meantime, fly back for hoidays from time to time. and dont stay an mil’s when you do. when you have a holiday at home in HK, book a nice hotel and ENJOY it.

    mostly just enjoy and be in gratitude for all you have know, while knowing that you will make your own future as to how you dream, and just let it unfold in its own time.

    i hope my thoughts have been helpful to you.

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  44. I understand you. English is not my native language too. But the fact that I’ve been learning it since I was born does not really impress those that desire a native English speaker. Of course, we might not know the current slang because it changes every year, and your knowledge of it heavily depends on how much time you spend in an English-speaking country.
    People tend to think that native speakers can teach English better than non-native English speakers but that’s a grave mistake, in my opinion. The thing is that native speakers barely study the language itself the same way they have to teach it to someone. Before I started tutoring I also had to learn all the names of grammar constructions because I’ve always known them and it has never occured to me that they had a name. I spoke fluent English by the time I was 8-10 y.o. But kids around me actually learned it, and, for example, my cousin is now probably the best English language teacher in our city.
    I haven’t really looked for a job in Japan yet, but yes, everywhere I look it’s always native native native. I guess it’s the law of Asian countries? Apparently it hasn’t occured to anyone that the fact that English is a person’s native language does not neccesarily mean one can actually teach it. Speakin gand teaching are two different things.
    I would say your best option would be to brush up your Cantonese and apply for a job with the knowledge of English AND Cantonese (and maybe Polish, if you find a company).
    Yes, unfortunately, some dreams do not come true. But I personally don’t ever feel any regret. Because if it didn’t happen then someone good will happen instead. Like, you know, parallel worlds – in one world your dream came true, and in the other it didn’t.

    I think this job search issue is a pain in the butt for the majority of foreigners looking for a job in Asia but without any language knowledge (aka Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc). So I’m currently working on my Japanese so that I could use Russian (my native language), English and Japanese at work. And I wish you good luck! Please, keep us updating on that!
    P.S. I’m sorry my opinion is all over the place but at least I tried to put it into words xD

    Like

    1. As a native English speaker I’d definitely agree with this. It was only when I learnt French that I started thinking about the rules of a language and grammar constructions because I had to learn them. When it comes to English on the other hand I just know how things are supposed to sound by instinct without necessarily being able to explain why. Largely I think the preference comes from parents desire for their kids to emulate a certain accent – this for example explains why English and American teachers are often preferred over Australian or Scottish for example.

      Like

  45. My dear. It’s not about nationality. It about having the right qualification to get a job in Hong Kong. Even if you are from India but you have a degree from Oxford, who wouldn’t want to hire you? Please enroll for TELF if you want to teach English. Be happy that you get to work in Ireland. They are more pleasant to deal with than Hongkees. Hongkees are very fussy people.

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    1. Sadly, in HK still having two people with same qualifications and degree employers are more likely to chose white person from major English speaking countries rather than non-white. I don’t know where does this white superior thing comes from but it still happens. That’s one of the downsides but I try my best to get more experience and better qualifications 😉

      Like

  46. It would be a good idea to get some job experience in HK before you have a baby. At least work for 2 yrs. (Look my sister started having their babies in their early 30’s.) Because you need that on your resume if you continue to live in HK for a long time.

    I have been unemployed in Canada for over 12 months.. and have known other people unemployed for that time period. And they did look for work.

    On your resume, you should not have to disclose where you were born nor list job experience in Poland (if any). In Canada when you apply for work /provide a resume, by law, it is illegal for an employer to ask (in resume or in job interview) for your marital status, nationality, where you were born, your religion, racial background. It is Canadian human rights legislation at the provincial and national level. It’s a serious matter. A lot of employers (especially established companies with HR depts.) are quite aware of this. U.S. is very similar on initial hiring practices.

    Your languages you can list…with Polish last. I mean this seriously if you wish to compete with locals.
    In HK, there were would be a lot of Cantonese speakers who also speak and write English very well, since many probably were educated /lived in North America for several years.

    Do you have acceptable fluency and literacy in French and German? International firms in HK might appreciate trilingual fluent speakers for global markets. These would be banks, export companies, international transportation carriers/firms, etc.

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      1. Yes I understand your frustration! I think similar to other cities, HK is quite a connection based society, so you’d have to do some networking to get known…

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  47. I heard the Polish chamber of commerce is pretty active here in HK. Maybe you can try there. Also, finding work is easier if you are in the city. I haven’t met anyone who is in HK and couldn’t find work, even simple bar-tending is possible for short term especially if you have marriage visa. If you are desperate enough and look hard enough, there will be a job in HK that will pay at least 15,000/ month.

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    1. The not so funny thing is I use our HK address and HK phone card – sadly we hav jobs here in Irwland so I’m too scared of leaving theme since there’s no return point after that. We either win and enjoy HK or have to face not so good time with my in laws and having Sing sent to China every day, 6 days a week.

      Like

  48. I wouldn’t accuse you of whining at all. It’s good to hear about how people are really feeling, when so often on blogs and social media people only every post the good stuff – not only is it disingenuous but it can sometimes make you feel bad thinking that everyone else is having a far better time than you always when it isn’t the case. So i think that it’s great that you’ve shared this! I feel i can relate, I have a great life but I miss Hong Kong a lot. I’d love to move back their but the kinda of jobs I feel like I (or my boyfriend, assuming he could be persuaded to come along) could get are not ones that i think I would find fulfilling. Therefore i’ll probably have to decide between doing something I enjoy or being in the city I love. But never say never, who knows were things may take you – just because it’s not looking good now doesn’t mean something won’t come up later or you’ll find something completely unexpected that makes you happy. Good luck!

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  49. My dream is to move to Seoul and I can’t do it either. I feel you. But life is very unpredictable, and this is beautiful. Maybe one day you will get this chance.

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  50. Oh Lina, thanks for writing this. I know it takes a lot to go out on a limb and write this on your blog, but sometimes its posts like this that help you bond most with readers.

    This post really connected with me because I’m in a similar boat, and I have the same mindset as you: If something is wrong, fix it. It’s really frustrating to feel “stuck,” like you can’t change your situation no matter how much you wrack your brain (without huge repercussions, at least).

    I also want to move back to Asia, but my boyfriend is an American doctor and unfortunately U.S. licensed doctors are only allowed to work in U.S. territories. I have gotten three job offers to return to Shanghai so far, and it’s been an extremely hard struggle to say no. I know my boyfriend is worth the sacrifice, but living day in day out knowing that you’re not living at your full potential can be depressing.

    Maybe you and Sing can make a long term plan to return to Hong Kong down the road, like move back in 5-10 years? Does he want to live in Ireland (or abroad) forever? Have you tried to get a job that specializes in Polish (since that is a rare niche you have?), like as a translator or possibly working at the embassy? As for English teaching and writing jobs–keep trying! I know you can get work there if you really try (all successful people were always rejected time and again until their 100000th try… like JK Rowling!).

    Hang in there! I’m rooting for you!

    Like

    1. I’m sure one day we will be back, as you say maybe in 5-10 years, I just wanted to go back first before we have a child so I don’t need to force him or her to leave everything behind. But at this point I don’t want to postpone the pregnancy anymore. I recently got a chance to be interviewed by a huge HK newspaper but since they were interested only in people living there and not those who lived they even stop responding to my e-mails. I think that was the most painful experience.
      I hope you and your boyfriend can find some solution, it sucks how any medical-related job is usually only good in that one particular country. I mean, all of our bodies are the same, right? Maybe the medicine we use are bit different, but there’s nothing people cannot learn. Did your boyfriend looked up if there’s any exam that would allow him to work in China?

      Like

  51. Hello. I’m the guy writing about Cambodia – thank you for supporting that work. Regarding Hong Kong, you’re disappointed that no one there is offering you what you want. Okay. I have a question: what can you bring to it that no one else can bring? I am sure there is much that is unique about you and your blend of talents and experiences. When Hong Kong needs you it will beg for you: so what have you got that it needs? Find it and that will get you there. Wishing you a successful new year.

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  52. Hi, just kinda stumbled in. I myself have a HK husband too and he is there on contract while I have chosen to remain in Canada. I did work in HK long before I met him but have always felt HK was a great place to visit, and not to live. Even now, we( kids and I) visit and it is tolerable for a couple of weeks. The crowds and the madness are just crazy! And everything is incredibly expensive! If you still wish to go, I’d advise to do it when the little one is well, little. Much less hassle with schools and also extra room as you already know space is a premium. Someone mentioned that most Hongkongers are pretty lacking in conversational English even they do supposedly attend English schools. There must be a niche for you since you are truly bi- or trilingual ! Lucky! If you really do want to be in HK, go there and stay for a month or two and pound the pavement and just hand out resumes. I wish you all the luck in the world!

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    1. thank you so much for your kind words. I love crowds, I love the feeling of being alive I get in Hong Kong. Maybe since I didn’t grow up there like my husband, I get more excited about it. But I love that place from the bottom of my heart. We had a choice, go to Japan or HK and to me the choice was easy – even though, Japan would be great, I would regret if I couldn’t visit it.
      I know that eventually we will move back, in 5 maybe 10 years. But I wanted to first move, then get pregnant. At this point I don’t want to postpone it anymore. Not to mention here we have very well paid jobs. In HK we have Momzilla who wouldn’t understand our decision and that would led to fights. So leaving this life in Ireland is not that easy. If we could at least get mental support from my in-laws we would probably already be moving this year, but well… I married into weird family 🙂
      but thank you anyway!

      Like

  53. i’m the last person whom should give advice to you. as i’m not one with the experience and understanding. but i do have to say, in choosing candidate with english ability would be best if they provide some sort of ‘test’, instead of relying more on ‘citizenship’ or the ‘country of origin’ of passport holder. i know for sure when i used to live in the States, there were many locals there who did not and could not communicate as well as i did. and i’m an ASIAN from ASIA!! go figure. not that i’m at all 100% fluent in English, but it was rather funny and surprising to realise that i could speak and write better English than many local americans. there goes to show you can’t always judge a book by its cover.

    Like

  54. Just was browsing your blog until I stumbled upon this article. Omg, it’s ripping my heart out! It’s like you’re writing about my own sentiment. However my love story is with Shanghai, and not a day passes that I don’t think about it… I am from Latvia (hello, neighbour) but I spent 10 years living and working in Shanghai. It’s my second home, it’s where I become really alive, it’s my urban jungle where I feel comfortable and safe and inspired. It’s basically where I grew up as an adult, with all the wonderful lasting friendships, work ethics, social norms… I just feel this immense sense of belonging there, that I didn’t have with any other place or city. But I met my husband (he’s Shanghainese, oh, the irony of life) and moved to Canada to be with him. It’s been good 5 years here, but I still can’t feel entirely like at home here. I keep missing Shanghai, the busy life I had there, the feeling that I was actually living… Here, it’s a comfortable and very well planned out, predictable life, but for me, it lacks the element of inspiration and excitement. Maybe it’s just me not being able or not wanting to entirely accept this new environment and keep comparing it to Shanghai, which is totally silly, I know. Imagine, my greatest happiness is when my inlaws visit from Shanghai and bring me back 瑞丽 and 家居廊 magazines, which I read like in one evening!!! Or going to Chinese mall – that’s like a Christmas for me!! My hubby knows, if he wants to make me happy, he gotta take me to that mall and let me go through all the tiny boutique stores and eat Beard Papa puffs and sweet crepes.
    I know that Shanghai will always hold a big piece of my heart, I just try to tell myself that I had my time there and now moving on to making a family. And moving on doesn’t mean leaving something behind. Love will always stay. Ok, now I’m cheesy. Haha! But it’s true for me. I hope you find your own way to live with Hong Kong in your heart, so that inspires you rather than saddens you. Love from Vancouver! xxx

    Like

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