I swear to you, I have to start writing down my ideas before I go to sleep, because when I wake up all of them fade away. Yet, I still keep telling myself ‘It’s so comfortable in the bed, the cat is between my legs, that’s a sign I shouldn’t move, I will surely remember that in the morning… Crap, what the hell I was thinking just few hours ago’. So I hope this post turns out what I wanted it to be in the first place.
Today I want to discuss a really interesting, in my opinion, topic – so called ‘the AMWF labeling’. I read quite a lot blogs and comments touching that subject and I can honestly say people are divided into those who support ‘the AMWF tag’ and those who are against it. I hope you can join the discussion and let me know your point of view, I’m really excited to read your comments!
For those of you who don’t know what AMWF stands for – it is acronym for Asian Male White Females. I personally prefer to translate it as Asian Male Western Females, because it shows more diversity in dating a Western girl (i.e. Latino girls or Black girls), not just specifically white Caucasian girls. Also, sounds less like a porn tag – seriously, try to Google ‘Polish AMWF’ – it pops out as PORN, my page, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, the second page of Google no one visits, even I didn’t bother to click there.
Anyway, I’m one of those who like the relatively young AMWF tag and I want to share my 5 thoughts why calling ourselves an AMWF couple is not a reason to feel ashamed or bad.
- It helps you connect with other Western Female – Asian Male couples. I read comments of those who said ‘You can find couples like that through your husband’s culture’ – well, surely that person didn’t try to look up Instagram with #hongkong – 50% are local shop commercials, 20% are fake accounts of hot babes with every major city as a hashtag, then you have still 41812115858 random posts to go through. Like it or not, it’s the relatively easiest way. Why make your life harder?
- Liking X or Y doesn’t mean it’s fetishizing. I heard too many times that liking this or that shows you have some kind of fetish. You cannot say ‘I’m attracted to […]’ without someone popping out with ‘You have a […] fetish!’. Well, I would call that ‘I have a specific taste in men‘ rather than a fetish, but thanks. I’m more attracted to Asian men due to their racial features like dark hair, dark eye, but there are girls who call their ideal man as tall, blonde guy with blue eyes. Same with guys – some like brunettes, some likes redheads, some like black girls, some likes Scandinavian type. Just because you prefer it, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck and refuse to date anyone else. My ex was white, but he had the features I like – dark hair, dark eyes. It’s just physical attraction that will be later verified by one’s personality.
I hope you know, what I try to say. It’s sometimes so hard to let you know what I think since English is not my native language. Huh.
- ‘Asian’ in ‘AMWF’ doesn’t mean you lose your cultural identity – we live in a wonderful time when we can travel the world within hours, when we can easily learn about each others cultures. And the same can be said about AMWF community. Even though Sing is from Hong Kong he traveled a lot in Asia, he likes to learn about other Asian countries and I enjoy reading how western girls deal with their interracial marriage to a Japanese man, to a Korean man, Singaporean, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese man… And I hope they can also learned little bit about Hong Kong from me and this blog. Instead of thinking of it as ‘erasing his identity as a Hongkonger’ I think of it as a chance to learn more from other couples struggling with culture differences and invite them to our little Hong Kong – Polish world.
- It’s a great way to ‘promote’ Interracial relationship and put down the negative stereotypes about Asian men as partners. I don’t know if other bloggers been in a similar situation, but I’ve received few e-mails from girls who really liked this or that guy, and it clicked between them, but were scared to give a chance to an interracial relationship. Because of the stereotypes, what people could have say about them etc., etc. By using the AMWF tag we are able to show to those girls that there are plenty of normal AMWF couples with various backgrounds, places of living, different life situations (showing them Momzilla would probably c*ck-block every Asian man on planet Earth so be thankful I didn’t do it) that manage to make the relationship work. And that those man are pretty normal – maybe they believe in different things, maybe speak different language as his first one, but they are still loving, fun and pretty much normal. I want interracial relationships to be considered as something normal, while at the same time the cultural differences be respected. What I try to say is, we come from different cultures, speak different languages, we have our own backgrounds, but we all deserve the same – love and equality. Just because he grew up 5000 km away in a completely different environment it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to form a relationship. Different doesn’t mean better or worse. Or to people like me – think of a piece of white chocolate and milk chocolate – different, yet both of them are so good they deserve the same – a warm place in my tummy. Yes, I think with this the lamest joke ever I made my point pretty clear.
- Aren’t we always overthinking? That’s just a general though that can also apply to the ‘AMWF label war’. We do judge and label people everyday. Heck, we even label ourselves. If you say ‘I don’t want to be called ‘just’ an Asian, I want to be called [insert whatever you want]’ then it is some sort of labeling. Judging people is something everyone of us does, we cannot escape it. Be honest with yourself and think how many times, naturally, you judged someone in your head. I want interracial relationship to get ‘relationship like every other, just with some cool cultural differences’ labels. As I said in #4, this is what I want, but this is not something that will happen in a day or two. Who know, maybe it still won’t be that common until my grandchild gets married? Until that I can only ignore all the negative labels, focus only on what’s positive and keep on going. If Sing or I were bothered by all the negativity that can be found online, our lives would be very unhappy. Let’s do what really makes us happy, not what others think should make us happy. You want to call yourself an AMWF couple, fine! You don’t want? That’s great to, you probably have your reasons and that’s your choice!
So… what do you think, guys? I hope no one feel offended for some reason by this post! Let’s open up a nice discussion – it doesn’t matter if you’re with it or against it, as long as you want to share your point of view!