AMWF的標籤 – the AMWF label

I swear to you, I have to start writing down my ideas before I go to sleep, because when I wake up all of them fade away. Yet, I still keep telling myself ‘It’s so comfortable in the bed, the cat is between my legs, that’s a sign I shouldn’t move, I will surely remember that in the morning… Crap, what the hell I was thinking just few hours ago’. So I hope this post turns out what I wanted it to be in the first place.

image (14)Today I want to discuss a really interesting, in my opinion, topic – so called ‘the AMWF labeling’. I read quite a lot blogs and comments touching that subject and I can honestly say people are divided into those who support ‘the AMWF tag’ and those who are against it. I hope you can join the discussion and let me know your point of view, I’m really excited to read your comments!

For those of you who don’t know what AMWF stands for – it is acronym for Asian Male White Females. I personally prefer to translate it as Asian Male Western Females, because it shows more diversity in dating a Western girl (i.e. Latino girls or Black girls), not just specifically white Caucasian girls. Also, sounds less like a porn tag – seriously, try to Google ‘Polish AMWF’ – it pops out as PORN, my page, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN, the second page of Google no one visits, even I didn’t bother to click there.

Anyway, I’m one of those who like the relatively young AMWF tag and I want to share my 5 thoughts why calling ourselves an AMWF couple is not a reason to feel ashamed or bad.

  1. It helps you connect with other Western Female – Asian Male couples. I read comments of those who said ‘You can find couples like that through your husband’s culture’ – well, surely that person didn’t try to look up Instagram with #hongkong – 50% are local shop commercials, 20% are fake accounts of hot babes with every major city as a hashtag, then you have still 41812115858 random posts to go through. Like it or not, it’s the relatively easiest way. Why make your life harder?image (15)
  2. Liking X or Y doesn’t mean it’s fetishizing. I heard too many times that liking this or that shows you have some kind of fetish. You cannot say ‘I’m attracted to […]’ without someone popping out with ‘You have a […] fetish!’. Well, I would call that ‘I have a specific taste in men‘ rather than a fetish, but thanks. I’m more attracted to Asian men due to their racial features like dark hair, dark eye, but there are girls who call their ideal man as tall, blonde guy with blue eyes. Same with guys – some like brunettes, some likes redheads, some like black girls, some likes Scandinavian type. Just because you prefer it, it doesn’t mean you’re stuck and refuse to date anyone else. My ex was white, but he had the features I like – dark hair, dark eyes. It’s just physical attraction that will be later verified by one’s personality.
    I hope you know, what I try to say. It’s sometimes so hard to let you know what I think since English is not my native language. Huh.
  3. ‘Asian’ in ‘AMWF’ doesn’t mean you lose your cultural identity – we live in a wonderful time when we can travel the world within hours, when we can easily learn about each others cultures. And the same can be said about AMWF community. Even though Sing is from Hong Kong he traveled a lot in Asia, he likes to learn about other Asian countries and I enjoy reading how western girls deal with their interracial marriage to a Japanese man, to a Korean man, Singaporean, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese man… And I hope they can also learned little bit about Hong Kong from me and this blog. Instead of thinking of it as ‘erasing his identity as a Hongkonger’ I think of it as a chance to learn more from other couples struggling with culture differences and invite them to our little Hong Kong – Polish world.
  4. It’s a great way to ‘promote’ Interracial relationship and put down the negative stereotypes about Asian men as partners. I don’t know if other bloggers been in a similar situation, but I’ve received few e-mails from girls who really liked this or that guy, and it clicked between them, but were scared to give a chance to an interracial relationship. Because of the stereotypes, what people could have say about them etc., etc. By using the AMWF tag we are able to show to those girls that there are plenty of normal AMWF couples with various image (16)backgrounds, places of living, different life situations (showing them Momzilla would probably c*ck-block every Asian man on planet Earth so be thankful I didn’t do it) that manage to make the relationship work. And that those man are pretty normal – maybe they believe in different things, maybe speak different language as his first one, but they are still loving, fun and pretty much normal. I want interracial relationships to be considered as something normal, while at the same time the cultural differences be respected. What I try to say is, we come from different cultures, speak different languages, we have our own backgrounds, but we all deserve the same – love and equality. Just because he grew up 5000 km away in a completely different environment it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to form a relationship. Different doesn’t mean better or worse. Or to people like me – think of a piece of white chocolate and milk chocolate – different, yet both of them are so good they deserve the same – a warm place in my tummy. Yes, I think with this the lamest joke ever I made my point pretty clear.
  5. Aren’t we always overthinking? That’s just a general though that can also apply to the ‘AMWF label war’. We do judge and label people everyday. Heck, we even label ourselves. If you say ‘I don’t want to be called ‘just’ an Asian, I want to be called [insert whatever you want]’ then it is some sort of labeling. Judging people is something everyone of us does, we cannot escape it. Be honest with yourself and think how many times, naturally, you judged someone in your head. I want interracial relationship to get ‘relationship like every other, just with some cool cultural differences’ labels. As I said in #4, this is what I want, but this is not something that will happen in a day or two. Who know, maybe it still won’t be that common until my grandchild gets married? Until that I can only ignore all the negative labels, focus only on what’s positive and keep on going. If Sing or I were bothered by all the negativity that can be found online, our lives would be very unhappy. Let’s do what really makes us happy, not what others think should make us happy. You want to call yourself an AMWF couple, fine! You don’t want? That’s great to, you probably have your reasons and that’s your choice!

So… what do you think, guys? I hope no one feel offended for some reason by this post! Let’s open up a nice discussion – it doesn’t matter if you’re with it or against it, as long as you want to share your point of view! 

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82 thoughts on “AMWF的標籤 – the AMWF label

  1. I love it! The tag helped me to connect with others when I was first wondering why there were so few couples like myself and my husband. From a practical standpoint, it’s fantastic – I found great blogs like yours and others, and I can search more easily for films, books, etc. that also represent us a little better.

    Em Liu

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I agree – it helps connect us and certainly doesn’t mask cultural identity. Everyone’s experiences are unique and interesting, and I think we should embrace that. In life, labels are always a double-edged sword. They can bring together otherwise scattered people, but they can also leave others out. Writing about all of our different experiences is the best way to show how we are all different but can connect on many levels, no matter what country we live in, where we are from, etc. I’ve met so many wonderful people through the AMWF community, so although it might not work for everyone, it’s helped me.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well, until humanity gets to a place where we stop labeling any races, I’m fine with the AMWF. Despite having been married to an Asian dude, I had no idea a designation such as AMWF even existed. I mean, yeah, I knew we were the only such couple for a long time, but now AMWF must be trending, because I’m seeing unicorns everywhere. And I have to say, it was quite nice to stumble upon the AMWF community online. I mean, not only did I have people who understood the trials of a difficult MIL, but I also met women who experienced the very special torture that is a Chinese MIL when you are unfamiliar with Chinese culture. And I had a built-in audience for my stories! Who knew?!

    I don’t really care much about labels myself, but, then again, I am not of a racial minority that gets labeled or negatively stereotyped. (“Emotional female” is probably as close as I’ve heard.) For those who’ve dealt with everything from “black people are lazy” to “aren’t you good at math, you’re Chinese?” I think being repeated reduced to one characteristic must get really, really effing annoying.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. The pain of MIL… If that makes you feel better, I think Sing knew the term AMWF only because of porn, haha.
      He once had a task in school to write about a topic he wants. He wrote about stereotypes in commercials and of course white, young, blong, girl is always associated with pureness etc., so I know what you mean about the ‘negative stereotypes about minorities’. But he learnt to say ‘Yes, I actually am good at math’ haha. He really is.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I thought just my MIL was a little… lets say difficult.
      And it actually helps to read about others struggeling with their’s too. Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry for you too, but it helps to know I am not alone. Mine is actually quite nice but she does not realice how m life became more complicated because of her.
      Months ago before I started my blog I wrote down ideas about 50 stories which happened with her in the past. But if I would post only these I would probably sound like a frustrated nag.

      And that with the AMWF porn tag is actually quite interesting. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Don’t worry – post them anyway, it helps to get some of the tension away! And people love crazy mothers in law haha 🙂
        The worst thing is usually they think they do everything to make the daughter’s in law life easier but it’s the other way haha 🙂

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  4. First of all, put a small notbook and pen next to your bed. 🙂

    Second: I only found out about AMWF one month ago, and that it is such a big thing on the internet. The last 6 years I struggled a lot, but I always thought it was because we are two different people, not ‘we are two people from different races and differen cultures’. I aways thought we are just us. I never thought that dating with him would restrict me in any way, on the contrary, I always thought about him as an enrichment for my life. Now we can celebrate double as much feasts, have double as fun. And not half.
    And up until now I didn’t really know AMWF couples were so rare. I always thought we were just ‘us’, a plain normal couple like any other one too. 🙂
    Also I never intended to date any person because of what he looks like. I only wished for him to be taller than me because I wanted to be able to look up to him, but that was never a must criterion. It was just an awesome bonus. but maybe getting together so easily was because we both were open for anything.

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      1. And it is so true? A grown up Chinese man, looking for easter eggs in my parent’s garden… A white girl sitting in the front row at the Chinese moon festival lottery to win a prize. I can’t speak Chinese but I learned the numbers just for the annual lottery 😀

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        1. Did you win? 😀 Sing was not that excited, but the first time Momzilla was dressing up a Christmas tree… now that was priceless to see! Like a little kid, keep pushing Sing and ‘look look’ haha 🙂 I think that’s the most beautiful part of intercultural relationship 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes I actually won something small every year. Once it was even a lai see with 50€ in it,

            I love to see how he reacts when he finds out something new. My parents and I try really hard with the feasts so he spends a great time and like to celebrate them with us again. I also encourage him to celebrate all Chinese festivals with me. He is so busy most of the time that he forgets them and therefre I do all the planning. He is really thankful that I am so thoughtful about his roots and celebrate with him and his family together.

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            1. I guess they could high-five with Sing, he never knows when some celebration takes place (especially since the date is not set). This year we arrive in HK on the day of Mid-Autumn Festival so I cannot wait to eat all the mooncakes 😀
              My FIL would described you as ‘high quality wife’ haha 🙂 it’s so good you make sure his culture is preserved, even though he is far away from home 🙂

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                  1. Than what am I? I thought Mr. Panda how to cook and clean and he helps me all the time. I got him with “factory setting” because he was not allowed to do household work with his parents. I didn’t want to do all the work alone.

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  5. I think we all feel the need to see ourselves in other people in order to understand the situations we might eperience better, and the AMWF tag helped a lot with that.
    I also feel much closer to people who have/have had a similar experience to mine so it’s a good chance to make friends too ^-^

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  6. That’s a really good way of expressing it – it’s kinda how I feel when I see a film in which a couple like us is represented. I kept wondering why I never saw couples like us in the media, and starting doing some research – that’s how I learned about the AMWF tag. 🙂

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  7. I didn’t know about these terms until I started blogging. The thing for me is that the tag WMAF doesn’t give any more opportunities as usually no one is blogging/ experiences unlike the AMWF tag. Well, i don’t care anyways about these stereotypes…at our Chinese wedding most guest only came to see if I am an old white dude who got some young asian girl, hooray.
    Before I dated my wife I never had any connection to any Asians. Sure I watched anime And read manga but. I interest in dating someone from Asia or having ‘yellow fever’.
    Anyways, Sing got some interesting view back then towards pure blond, blue eyed girls :p

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to tell you there are a lot of WMAF bloggers… but they are usually girls and they write in Chinese 😀 so you have to use your language skills, so evil! actually you’re one of the very few male family/relationship bloggers, it’s mostly girls who write. who knows, maybe your cute wife has a blog about her crazy white hubby? 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nah, my wife is too lazy for that:p
        The blogs I found by the girls from WMAF relationships were mostly (not all of course) about what food they just ate,what they bought recently and so forth, so basically just about their lifestyle rather than going into the relationship an the like

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  8. I like the AMWF tag because it helps you discover other people in similar relationships you can relate to and not just stumble upon porn. 😛

    I like seeing the tag as “Asian Male Western Woman”, but some people message me disagreeing with the term. Some think it should be strictly for the white community. Others feel another tag should exist to define my relationship as a Latin@. I’ve seen AMHF and AMLF tags used to represent.

    Either ways I use all of them to help others connect with me and vice versa. I like listening to everyone’s stories. They bring us closer together. ^_^

    Liked by 2 people

    1. that’s why I prefer to use Western instead of white – there’s more chance that you and I have culturally similar background than you and your boyfriend (especially when it goes to religion :D) so don’t worry what they say!
      I don’t see many Latinas blogging about dating an Asian men but I saw quite a lot of couples on Instagram where the girl is a Latina 😀

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    2. Don’t worry, I think there are many people like me who learned about AMWF on this blog, so I have tought it means ‘western’ since I learned about it a month ago 😀
      Soon the term will have the new, better meaning and hopefully all these whining peope will stop nagging too.

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  9. I’m glad to hear you like the AMWF tag. I’m personally all for it specifically because this pairing is so under-represented in film, books and pretty much every genre. And the romance that ever happens between an Asian man and anyone non-Asian is lack lustre and piss poor, PG-rated fluff.

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  10. What an interesting discussion! In fact, I’ve been thinking about this a while ago and I’m two minded as to whether I should put this tag onto my new blog.

    As a novice blogger started out about month ago, I haven’t put the AMWF tags on my blog posts. The reason being my posts are related to hiking and outdoor adventures that my wife and I have been doing. So putting this tag doesn’t sound right to me and I think it may annoy people if I do it on all these posts.

    Just take an example on my last post titled “My 10 favourite places in Hong Kong”, it doesn’t sound relevant to me to put this hashtag, even if I have visited some of these places with my wife.

    But that’s not saying I’m against the AMWF tag. Maybe if I decide to write about relationships etc then this tag maybe justifiable.

    I agree with Lina and other comments on the point that this would connect the community, but I guess it should be used sparingly rather than tagging the post indiscriminately…

    I would be interested to know what other people think. I may one day experiment with is tag.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I just put tags randomly – I have Korea and Japan in my tags, because eventually fans of Asia or citizens of those countries might be interested therefore I add it 😀 now that’s a truly woman’s logic haha 🙂 (also it shows up on the reader with that tag so you can get some extra views from people who wouldn’t first think of visiting) 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I hardly see AMWF for porn to be honest, I think that is quite rare, no? Usually it is the other way round: White men asian chicks, white men black chicks, black men asian chicks. I don’t think I have ever seen Asian men white chicks in porn. Shhh what am I talking about? I’m a good boy, I don’t watch porn! 😀

    Serious: I honestly don’t give two sh*ts about AMWF or WMAF or whatever tags. I get frustrated when I see people becoming oversensitive with the usage of racial/interracial words. I mean, if you are white, you are white. If you are black, you are black. If you are yellow, you are yellow. Seriously, when I say “I’m dating a white girl / we’re AMWF couple”, it should be something like “I’m having McDonald’s today because I don’t feel like having Pizza Hut”, a factual statement that should not be perceived as a racist statement. There is no need to take offence, and I pray that I will live to see the day where people stop taking offence to calling / being called white or black or yellow or AMWF or whatnot.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sing saw your comment and he told me ‘Tell him AMWF porn is low rated, always below 30% on xvideos’ XDDD I don’t really know why he asked to do that, but I’m telling you 😀
      I think now you need to be always politically correct, I read my posts 154812 times just to be sure there’s no joke that can be offensive etc., etc.
      And I have a really dark sense of humor haha

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I know, but I can’t. I update everyday, so if I have to proofread 154812 times every day, then it is better if someone just shoot me and end my misery. It is easier for me to be politically negligent and piss oversensitive people off. They don’t read offensive blog and I don’t have to worry about them. Win-win. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yesterday night I asked Mr. Panda about these porns and he told me the same 😀

        I also try to be overly correct in my posts. But somehow I think that people from some countries are more sensitive to the topic than others? And I don’t think it is because I am “white”, right now I am more red like a cooked lobster because it is too hot. My US friend who started to live here in Austria some time ago also said to me that she feels much more comfortable here than in the US… but that is another topic 😀

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  12. Aside from liking Asian men’s physical features, do you think that as a White female, Asian men have other redeeming qualities such as less expectation on the wife in sharing household income after marriage? Since, Caucasians are into equality, does that mean the wife is expected to share household income, house chores and baby sitting duties equally? I know of Vietnamese men who complaint about their Vietnamese women preferring to marry economically more endowed Chinese, Korean and Japanese men as women are not required to work hence contribute equally to household income after marriage. In other words, Vietnamese men can’t afford to support a family if the wife choose to stay at home. On top of that, Vietnamese men will not help in house chores and baby sitting. Is economic reason a driving force for White female to marry Asian men too? Thank you.

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    1. I personally don’t like it – sitting at home all day is killing me. In America I wasn’t allowed to work (due to visa-type) and I was really, really unhappy.
      After childbirth maybe I will prefer to stay home with the baby instead of going to work, but as it is now – I would get crazy.
      I cannot speak for everyone in AMWF relationships, but from what I read a lot of them are pretty money/job-independent, one even move to a Chinese countryside. Of course I’ve seen few that enjoy their boyfriend’s/husband’s money but let’s face it – gold diggers can be found in every race and type of relationship 🙂

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  13. I hate this label and I hate all the focus people have on Asians being with westerners. My husband is Japanese but he is NOT ‘my Japanese husband’ and I refuse to identify myself based on his nationality. Him being Japanese has nothing to do with him being my husband. And me being white has nothing to do with any of it. In Japan I almost never told people that my husband was Japanese due to all of the stupid questions that followed. And I really hate it when people try to cash in on their significant other’s race/ nationality.

    Also, did you guys know that AMWF originated as a porn term?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t really get the ‘cash in’ thing – could you explain this? 🙂
      And as I mentioned in the post, it might have come as that kind of them but then you can say teen is also a porn tag 😀

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      1. one example is when people write books, like My Darking is A Foreigner or My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy. I just feel like books like those are trying to say “I’m writing about cultural diversity and international marriage” but they’re really just writing the same trite things over and over again and making money off it. So that’s what I meant.

        True, but Teen didn’t start as a porn tag. So for me using something that started that way just feels gross. I’d understand if it started as something else and then got used as a porn tag and this was some kind of movement to ‘take it back’ but it’s not.

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        1. I guess if there are readers the girl will write their books 🙂
          I mean, if you can make people want to read about it then it’s fine, it’s not like I go to store and say ‘can I get some cheese with that? My super unique Asian husband loves melted cheese’ – I don’t throw it on the people, and if someone is interested to look up with that tag as their interest point and go to my blog – great 🙂
          But I get your point and respect it 🙂 it’s good to see the arguments from the opposite group 🙂

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          1. Haha see I feel like a lot of people DO do that. When I was living in Japan so many white girls were all MY JAPANESE SIG OTHER at everything. Drove me nuts! Now when ppl meet my husband and are surprised he’s Japanese they say ‘why didn’t you say so!?’ …cuz it doesn’t matter? But as I might not agree with AMWF and be vocal against using the term I do respect those who do. 🙂

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    2. Oh, and btw. Did you know my husband is Japanese is actually a YouTube channel of Rachel and Jun? 😀 but if you watch them you know they also cover Japan in general, America, languages etc 😀 it just reminded me of them 😀

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      1. But why does it have to be called that and marketed that way? Why can’t they just share their cultures without the MY SIG OTHER IS ASIAN being the main focus? That’s the thing that bugs me. I used to blog about Japan and my relationship but my relationship wasn’t how I defined what I was writing about, and, myself.

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        1. Well, if she is talking about her relationship then why not? Even mykoreanhusband who is strongly against being called AMWF puts it in the name? The name of blog should give a slight idea about the content and be easy to remember/search online – but that’s my opinion as a former blogger. I often come across some blogs that I forget to add to favourites and then I cannot find them anymore because I can’t recall the name and I have to google through a phrase I think I remember and still might not get there 🙂

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          1. I’m surprised that someone against being labeled that way continues to use that name as an handle. For me when I blogged about Japan it was about me and my whole life, so the title reflected that. My husband is a part of my life, not my whole life, so that’s why the naming myself after him doesn’t work for me. I guess I’m just different, I didn’t even take his last name, lol.

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        2. I mean, I could understand it would be irrelevant if she had a cooking channel and named it like that and keep saying I cook Japanese food because my husband is Japanese but it has nothing to do with the rest of the channel, but their flog started of as a blog about relationship 🙂

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    3. My opinion isn’t quite so strong as yours, but I more-or-less agree. I see my husband as simply being my husband and I don’t feel the need to label our relationship. I understand how this term unites some people, but it can also create distance too–putting people into categories. I don’t want to put myself or relationship in any particular group. I don’t know why, but I’m just not that comfortable with it.

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      1. To be honest I just feel that a lot of people use it as a way to brag that they’re with an Asian and THAT is what really gets me. But yeah I don’t feel the need to label us or base MY identity on his nationality. It makes me uncomfortable too.

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  14. Ok. I grew up in three contries. Three different major cities and dated both Asian and Western girls and Married to a German girl.
    I must say those who against “AMWF” are nut heads.
    Ok. I said what I want…..carry on people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would say this – if someone doesn’t want to call themselves that way, that’s fine, it’s their personal choice and no need to call them nut heads 🙂 but if someone is a racist person against any interracial love then feel free to call them that way because they are nut heads 😀

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  15. Gosh, it isn’t easy, eh? It’s nice to read different opinions. I’m not a huge fan of the acronym, even though I’ve used it as a post tag. (And my tagging skills overall are lacking….) Where I struggle is, does it matter? On the one hand, it’s fun to be part of a group that celebrates it, despite its origins. (Had no idea!) However, I see hubby as a man I fell in love with, who happens to be of a different background, and I’m committed to and tied to his culture as he is to mine, especially now with a child. I feel that a couple could still struggle even if they grew up on the same block in a homogeneous neighborhood. When does a problem or joy come from culture and when is it just being human? Thanks for writing about this!

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  16. My husband and I support the tag AMWF, though like you we also prefer the “W” to stand for “western” not “white”. We are both products of intercultural marriages and now are in an intercultural, International marriage ourselves(Singapore/US). I feel that being from differing countries has a much bigger impact on us than being from different cultures does, but being an AMWF does have its struggles nonetheless and I’m happy there’s a way to find couples like us to share experiences with.

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  17. I totally agree with your reason #5. I mean, if I write a blog post about my dog, I will tag it golden retriever, because then people looking for posts about golden retrievers will find it. And if I write about something related to my relationship, then I will tag it as amwf, for the same reason. (For me w is western, though. It seems for American people I am not considered white xD).

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  18. I find it totally shocking that at this point in history people still have a problem with interracial/intercultural marriage. Some people still find it hard to believe that people are people and it’s possible to make a connection with someone who grew up in a different culture than you did. I have no problem with the amwf tag because it does describe a particular kind of relationship and it helps connect people with possibly similar experiences. Just like vegetarians who marry meat eaters– it’s about two different lifestyles coming together. It’s nice to connect with people who have similar experiences and feel less alone if you live somewhere where maybe there aren’t many couples like you.
    And it usually seems like people get more weirded out by this sort of thing when it’s looked at from the female side. Guys, especially white guys, aren’t usually questioned when dating Asian females… and I’ve met guys for whom it definitely was a fetish.

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  19. like some here i never had heard the term AMWF till i stumlbed upon this blog. I married my “chinese husband” way bac in 2000, and we have long since parted. but it is still a significant part of my identity as I have a “Chinese-Australian” daughter, and i share teh experiences many here have. so i love this blog. my ‘mil’ and ‘fil’ stopped talking to us after the separation ( in fact we moved towns when my daughter was a baby just to get away from her, sigh) … and i could write forever about that. i like this blog as it gives me a place to share experiences that i know you guys are going to get.

    some of the conversation here though got a bit carried away. Now River, its all very well that you dont introduce your hubby as Japanese, thats great, it should always be about two people. For me, quite the opposite. I ve long been a China-phile ( just take a look at my blog) and it was precisely that he was SO chinese, and not at al westernized, hardly spoke a word of english, that attracted me in the first place.

    It was really a bit below the belt when you almost accused our blogger here of “cashing in” on being married to an asian. ‘cashing in’ on what??? she is simply sharing experiences, and we all gather here to join in the conversation, much as baseball mad people might follow a baseball blog or foodies follow food blogs.

    While the experience of western women being married to asian guys is remains relatively socially invisible, its necessary to ‘promote’ that experience, even if its only to ourselves, so we feel relieved that there are others sharing our unique experiences.

    i remember the first time i met another white female married to a chinese man i was like -OMG! there’s others just like me! I think Liu Xin, the dancer, is a great role model for the same reasons.

    personally, i dont like labels, i dont like the AMWF label, but i understand the need to use it. its about ‘belonging’. we all have a need to belong to a community. we also need to have people who understand our particular trials living in close quarters with asian guys.

    for the record, my ex was always great at cooking and cleaning to the point he would never ‘let’ me wash/wipe up after he cooked, as he said “i wouldnt do it right”. mm… so putting wet cups and plates in the cupboard to drip everywhere without wiping them first is “doing it right”?? but then, who was I to complain? … I didnt.. I had better things to do …….

    so, i dont think the question is “to label or not to label” i think the question is “how do we find a community of people who understand our experiences?”

    This blog goes a very long way towards finding that community.

    THANK YOU!

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  20. I definitely am in favor for the AMWF tag. In America, especially, Asian men get a bad rep. It’s good to see other couples like you exist and try to break out of the stereotype! Great post!

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  21. Love the tag. Makes it easy to find others’ blogs in similar situations which I really enjoy reading. Totally agree with your post. Also really like your Asian Male Western Female better, since I’m only half white racially, but completely Western culturally ☺️.

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  22. I’m a white Western male who spent nearly five years living in Taiwan, teaching English, and traveling around Southeast Asia. I saw a lot of my fellow expats dating local Taiwanese women in that time, but rarely the other way around. I was never exactly sure what it was that stood in the way of Western women dating or marrying local men, if anything. Your article was a refreshing take on what seems to be a bit of a taboo. Thank you for taking the time to share your perspective. The world could benefit from more people crossing the societally manufactured boundaries that exist and revealing them to be exactly what they are: imaginary. Keep on writing!

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      1. i never really bother with terms or slangs if i come across one. sometimes i’d get one of those abbreviations or urban terms in a text message, and i’d get all puzzled. i always end up asking a friend or the sender for the meaning. guess i’m just not socially active enough to be up-to-date to these things.

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