Before I get to today’s post I just want to remind you (or inform you, in case you missed my last post) that we have a YouTube channel and you can visit it by clicking here! I hope next video will be ready to upload this Monday!
Now let’s get down to business.
Many, many times I was wondering should I touch this topic (again) or no. But after few years of being married, I have enough. I have enough of my husband constantly being put in the friendzone by strangers.
My husband could be called Sir Sing of House Friendzone (fun fact: ‘Ser’ so often use in Game of Thrones would suit him too, literally translated to Polish as ‘cheese’ would suit his cheesy personality). He was so deep in the friendzone in his life that if he ever became an emperor or a president, the country would have Justin Lo’s ‘好人’ would be a national anthem. That’s how deep it was.
I know I shouldn’t care what others think of us, especially since it was me myself who put Sing in that zone before we started dating… I wasn’t ready, but he was patient, caring and a bit stubborn. I’ve witnessed all the things he went through.
I know how much time and nerves it cost him, and any other friendzoned guy, to get out of the friendzone. It doesn’t happen in a day or two and in most of the cases people can’t manage to get out. That’s why I stand up and clap to all of you who did it. You all are my dating heroes, I guess I not only mine because one of Sing’s closest friends said ‘Teach me, Master’ once he heard we became a couple.
I think being in the friendzone once and getting out is enough for a lifetime, yet my husband has to get out of it at least once a month. But this time he is not in the friendzone because of me, but because of strangers.
It happens way too often to stay silent. I’m an extremely patient person, but if you keep poking me for an hour I will eventually give you a death stare. Well, unless you’re Biscuit the cat, then I will rub your tummy and give you a snack. Otherwise, be prepared to make me mad.
But what am I talking about? I talk about the famous ‘Is that your friend/tour guide/translator?’. To make the matter worse, it always follows one pattern:
- The question is always to Sing, never to me. I’ve been asked only once and it was ‘Is that your fiance?’.
99.9% of the time it’s him hearing ‘Are you taking your FRIEND around the city?’. Now when I think of it – which one of us is in the friendzone then?
- In case of our WMAF (Western Male Asian Female) friends it’s never ‘Is he your friend?’ but ‘Is he your boyfriend?’. I might be wrong here, but it’s all subjective, based on our experience.
- In 80% of the cases it’s other Asian guy being shocked, 20% – really old ladies
- The only time I was asked ‘Is that your fiance?’ was also the only case that a Westerner asked us that kind of question
When someone gets a gold Olympic medal you don’t ask them if he’s showing off with someone else’s medal. If you know what I try to say. Not that I consider myself a trophy, I would make a really lousy trophy.
Please don’t make such a face like someone told you they’ve been on a secret North Korean mission on the Sun and just came back. I swear to all of you, you should have seen the faces we’ve seen. Small eyes become anime-style eyes, the voice goes higher, then there’s that deep breath and staring at us for the rest of the meal/shopping/whatever we came for.
So I started wondering, why it happens so often? It didn’t matter where we went – America, China, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong – you name it and I point you who and when said something stupid like ‘Is she your friend?’. No, I just keep stalking that little Asian guy hoping I can get free food.
I mean, I know that AMWF community is not the biggest one, but hey! we’re growing bigger and stronger! And from the respect to your fellow guy at least don’t give us THAT FACE. You know which face I mean, the one saying ‘How? What? When? Why? WHAAAT?’, because it’s even more annoying than telling ‘No, I’m his wife’ all the time.
Then Sing and I got into a discussion about the whole ‘Is she your (everything but not a partner)?’ thing and I had a thought. Maybe, if you don’t think about the face expression, it’s actually a testicle solidarity. A mechanism that will save your bro from the public humiliation of the innocent ‘Oh no, we’re not dating, HE IS JUST MY FRIEND *add the cutest giggle you can*’. In the worst case the answer will be ‘Yes, bla bla bla’ in the best a guy can proudly say ‘No, she’s my girlfriend/friance/wife/love of my life/something cheesy only Sing could thing of’. And that it’s . But it’s all only a theory of a person who wants to believe in good people. That is me, Sing doesn’t believe in anyone but himself. Thanks for that, Momzilla.
I don’t know how about you, but I feel much better saying it out loud. Phew, it’s good to complain once in a while and let all the steam go away.
Has it ever happened in your relationship or someone you know? How do you feel about this topic? Let us know, we’re so curious what you think! 🙂