From my posts you could have already noticed that Sing and I are more or less control freaks. We already even thought about the situation one of us is dead and where should we hold the funeral, should we be cremated, be or not be an organ donor etc. so it was pretty much obvious that once the baby topic is up we will get into another weird discussion.
We are not even in the point of conceiving the child (let me quote the Future Father Of The Year ‘That’s the fun, easy part, we should first think of the future’), but we already had our worries. OK, mostly Sing had them, because for some reason he likes to think of the worst possible scenario so ‘he can be prepared’. Well, I don’t think he would be prepared if his fear of porn star-daughter would come true. And not only a porn-star: a girl who likes much older men, gold-digger, ‘too open’, star of ’16 and pregnant’ or just the whole concept of having a daughter who one day will have a boyfriend. Sing already doesn’t like him, whoever he would be. The best daughter he could have is an asexual-lesbian with fear of modern technology.
He also have his fears about having a boy, but the fears are limited to three options: having a STD, making a girl pregnant (still, in his mind it’s better than being the father of the pregnant girl) and the worst of them – receiving the infamous ‘You’re a nice guy’ card.
Getting the good guy card is not only his fear, if you check out forums, especially Asian ones, you will see how frustrated the guys are. You can find plenty of memes talking about this problem.
And I get it, I would be frustrated too if I heard for a thousand time ‘Yeah, you’re a nice guy BUT…’
That is an excuse that doesn’t make sense to me either – if you look for a nice guy and then you tell someone ‘you’re a nice guy but…’, it’s just senseless. Let me quote a Hong Kong classic ‘Goodest Logic‘.
We girls don’t really see how lucky we are in us being rejected – at least in 80-90% of the cases we will at least know why. We can hear we are not their type, the conversation doesn’t go really well, whatever it is- at least we are likely to hear something other than ‘You’re nice, but’. I never heard about a girl who received ‘You’re a nice girl’-card.
Thinking of it – how can you even respond to that with something other than ‘Oh’ or ‘Thank you…?’.
So if it’s so painful, annoying and painfully annoying why I wish my future son would go through the very same thing?
Short answer: from my own vanity.
Long answer: from my own vanity. I want to see my child as my personal success. I don’t need him or her to find a cure for cancer or get a gold medal in the Olympics. Of course whatever my child achieves would make me proud, even if it’s a drawing of Biscuit (if you ever seen how ugly Sing’s drawings are you would know why I consider that as an achievement). But as much as I want him to grow as a smart, healthy man, what I want the most for him is to be a good guy, good person in general.
If a girl ever tells him ‘You’re a nice guy, but…’ I will ask him to never change that. That means I raised a man who’s a gentleman, who knows how to treat other people right, who has respect to others. And if some girl cannot see what a blessing that kind of man is, it’s her problem.
Me myself married a good guy. I dated a ‘bad boy’ in my teenage years, blinded by the ‘first love’ feeling. When I grew up, my eyes opened and I knew this is not what I want. I want a man who will love me and respect me. And I got one, the one who received few ‘Good man’-cards in his life. He was once so deep in a friendzone he bought his crush a cruise so he could confess his feelings towards her. Non of them ever went on that cruise.
Sing even thought to turn into being ‘the bad guy’, he looked on his friend who had 4 girls at the same time and non of them knew about the other one. For a short period of time he was jealous of that friend, but in the end he stick into his values and then we met. For every good guy there’s a good girl waiting. It might take long time to find that person, you might get hurt during that time, but sooner or later it will happen.
When I talk to my Readers and I call them ‘nice men’ it’s the best compliment you can get out of me. Sing treated it as an offence and asked me not to call guys ‘nice’, not out of jealousy but because of this stupid ‘Good guy’-card. There’s nothing wrong in receiving it – that means your family made a great job in raising a wonderful man who will one day make someone really happy. And this is exactly why I want my future son to get one of those cards. I want to know that I raised someone so well and that I did my best job as a mother. If someone cannot appreciate it – well, it’s their loss, sooner or later there will be someone good, worth my little man…
OH GOD, I SLOWLY TURN INTO MOMZILLA (I think 😉 )
What do you think about this topic? Have you ever received ‘Good person’-card? Let me (and Sing because he loves topics like this) know what you think! 🙂