After last year’s Momzilla’s visit, how many of you would expect me to write this post? After showing me all those disturbing child birth videos and talking about post pregnancy recovery I was fed up with a baby topic. I literally was scared even if someone mentioned pregnancy. I even pushed away Sing in bed so in some magical way we won’t end up having a baby. And now I’m here writing a post about my newly awaken maternity instinct.
To be honest with you, I don’t really know what changed in me.
Maybe it’s the new stability in life – no more worrying if we can get a visa or we have to leave the US as soon as possible. We couldn’t even really move out from our tiny studio because the rent in Bay Area was extremely expensive and actually mortgage for buying a flat would cost you similar.
Or maybe it’s the fact that there were 3 kids in our families born in meantime and now my paternal cousin will have her first baby-girl and being around kids make me feel happy instead of annoyed.
Or maybe it just feels like the right time for me – on May 25th I will be 24 years old, quite young but I always thought of giving a birth when I’m 25 (and that would make Sing 30). Especially since on June 20th we will mark our 3rd year as a married couple and Sing’s family stopped asking about it so we don’t have any ‘outside pressure’ because everyone is focused on his still-not-married-almost-expiring-sister.
There’s also a chance Momzilla’s baby-voodoo last year worked and that’s why during the last phone call she didn’t even mentioned any babies… That would only prove my theory that she really is a witch.
Whatever the reason is, I know things have changed inside me. It feels weird, in the last few months I slowly started paying more attention to baby products, I even spend more time at the IKEA’s baby section.
First I thought it’s because I’m the only auntie from my parent’s side – all my cousin’s have siblings, but since I’m the only child I’m the only aunt from this side of the family they can have, but more I thought of it was my own feelings towards having a child. As for today I think I can say I’m ready. I’m not pregnant, technically we still didn’t plan anything, but my maternal instinct is fully awaken and if something happens – I’m ready.
As for paternal instinct of Sing… hehe, now that’s a comedy. He is like a big baby, especially when he runs around the house with his boxers shorts on just like a baby with a diaper on a hot day. And try to force him to wear socks at home – he will argue to death about it. So technically I don’t need a new child, I already have one.
But he can be also very responsible and professional, especially at work. So I thought since he’s almost 29 and I feel I’m ready, I will talk to him about this.
First attempt end up with ‘So… how was the post office?’ and not healing his character in Resident Evil for two nights in the row.
Second time he was wiser and respond with ‘Let me ask you this… Can I answer it in 3 months?’. I really don’t know what he tried to achieve besides giving me a fail-face-expression.
Now that’s promising.
Later it only got better, I wrote down some of the memorable quotes.
‘Can we have a boy? I mean with a boy you only worry about STDs but a girl can also get pregnant!’
‘S: Oh my God, what if we have a girl and later she will do with a boy what we did?!
M: You didn’t complain when we did it.
S: But that will be my baby girl, that’s just ewww.’
‘S: What is she dates an older guy, can’t even think of it!
M: Babe, you’re 5 years older than me.
S: That’s different, we’re married’ – double standard master
‘Cannot wait when we have a child and finally I can use the phrase ‘Because I said so’
‘Biscuit, come back to daddy and love me. OK, fine. Once I have a baby for first few months it cannot run away and has to love me. Then you will be jealous, Biscuit.’
‘But you won’t tell anyone you’re pregnant? They will know we had sex’. – let me quote a classic ‘No shit, Sherlock’.
‘Babe, I read that when you get pregnant boobs get bigger. Next time you start the baby talk you should think of those arguments instead’.
As a bonus for some of the things he says, whenever I see him looking up AVs I whisper to his ear ‘That’s someone’s daughter’ as a revenge.
And I promise you, the day I find out I’m pregnant I will order Sing a customized T-shirt based on a HK joke.
Front will say ‘Our party successfully achieved the conceiving of a child’ – based on the banner of a member of Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong.
The back will state ‘I’m surely not 689’ – 689 is a nickname for CY Leung, Chief Executive of the Hong Kong that most of the people hate, it came from the number of votes he got. The joke is that 7 in Cantonese sounds like erected penis so since it misses the number 7, CY misses a penis. Surely Sing with a proof of my pregnancy would be able to say he doesn’t miss ‘the 7’.
Why I have such an awful sense of humor?
But I see he tries, he’s still little bit too immature and too selfish, but I believe that the day IT happens he will be ready. I see that he googles the cost of having a baby here (can you believe average cost of having a baby in Ireland is 174 euro per week?!) and I even seen him reading Baby Kingdom instead of HK Golden – trust me, that is a major change for him.
Even now when we look for the car he tries to find something that can be big enough to hold all the baby stuff but also safe. Last week he even pointed out the car we were looking at had special holders for a baby car seat.
Maybe it’s not really that much but for someone who said ‘How was the post office today?’ it’s more than I would expect.
I don’t know what to expect during the year of sheep, my year, but there were so many changes in our lives that I wouldn’t be surprised if one day we will make up our minds.
I think I’m ready for this, but I don’t want to rush anything. It’s a life-time decision, something we cannot quit if we cannot handle. I also don’t want to put any pressure on Sing. Having a child should bring us together, not drive apart if the other one doesn’t feel ready.
For now I am only an auntie and I’m happy about it but my heart is open up for a child of my own.
Have you or your partner felt similar? How to control it when one of you is not ready? Or maybe you don’t want a child at all? Everyone has a free choice and if they are happy that’s the most important thing. Share your experience, I would love to read your stories 🙂