如何得知外父外母愛惜你?- signs your in-laws like you

The topic of in-laws is a big part of my blog. Mainly thanks to my long time inspiration, Momzilla and her original way of being in our lives. Probably if I forced Sing to write about my parents in a similar way it wouldn’t be as funny as when the main character is Momzilla.momzillawithparents

My parents are literally the most boring, rainbow-farting in-laws a man can have. They are nothing like the in-laws in joke. They love Sing in that very straight-forward way, there’s no way he misread the signals. Oh wait, there is because well, Sing is Sing, my clueless husband. But every normal person wouldn’t have that problem.
So if your in-laws are as ordinary as my parents the signals should be:

  • Taking your side during the argument if you’re right instead of always protecting their own child.
  • Trying to solve conflict between your partner and you, the way you both are happy with the result.
  • Forcing your significant over to bring you luggage full of food so you can attend to the family meal you missed.
  • Tell you every time they call that they love you both.
  • They respect your decisions.
  • When they buy two Kinder Surprise egg.

Don’t laugh at me, but the Kinder egg thing melted my heart – my parents thought I’m still asleep when I overheard my dad asking my mom why she bought two of the eggs and she said ‘Because now we have two kids‘. That’s really heartwarming, but also since they always take his side now I know how Sing’s sister feel as the less loved one so to make myself feel better and to show who’s the Queen of our House , First of Her Name, IMG_20140914_162541Almosttoiletborn of House T., Queen of the Lower Silesia and the First Men, Lina of the Great Baltic Sea, Breaker of Electronics and Mugs , and Mother of Kittens, I ate the chocolate egg and left him only with a toy. That showed him. And I had a better toy.

As you can see with boring in-laws you it’s easy-peasy to tell their love. But it all get’s funny when you have a Momzilla. Like my type of Momzilla, not just any Momzilla. Because the funny thing is, if you seen her behavior you would think she’s very mean or she dislikes me, but that’s just the weird way for her to say ‘I love you’. Not literally say, she never really said it, even Sing doesn’t remember the last time she said that to him.
She used to dislike me, that’s true, but as Sing said – she would dislike any girl because no one is good enough for Little Mr. Sunshine. I know you must be confused so let me just cleared that up!

Short guide, inspired by Momzilla and WahWah, how to tell your in-laws like you (in their own weird way!)

  • They always keep commenting on whatever you do. And usually it’s not ‘Great job!’-type of comment. You might think they criticize you, but in Momzilla’s mind that’s the way to improve the quality of our (or just Sing’s) life. At the beginning I was annoyed, but now I know she doesn’t do it (mainly) to make me upset but to do something in the way she think is more efficient, easier or gives more in return.
  • Or they say nothing. I like WahWah because, as opposed to Momzillla, he almost never talks. And that’s his approval – if there’s no comment that means it’s good enough. Of course you won’t hear any encouragement words but it’s still better than nagging. Sorry Momzilla, WahWah wins this.
  • Never tell you everything. It’s not that they don’t trust you, it’s just they don’t want you to worry. For a long time I thought I’m an outsider and that’s why Sing’s parents are not as opened to me as my parents are to him. Luckily for me, Sing is very oversharing. In any sort of information, doesn’t matter from if it’s a family IMG_20140719_180708gossip or details of his trip to onsen with his guy-friends. Like, really detailed details. Till now I can’t look at some of his friends.
  • They are never happy with the gifts. It’s not that they don’t like them, WahWah even smiled when he got Limited Edition Euro2012 Polish vodka, but Momzilla looked like a grumpy cat. Actually maybe it’s her in make-up all over the Internet. The gifts were really well planned, but what Sing told me is ‘Mom says you shouldn’t spend so much money on this. You could get yourself something instead’. Don’t really know how to feel about it but according to Little Prince, that’s a good sign. Or they are just too polite to tell you your gifts suck.
  • They show up unannounced. They just want to take care of you. Anytime. Luckily the distance between Europe (previously Northern America) and Asia is big enough to cross it out. Imagine, Momzilla whole day, everyday. Brr, I shivered.
  • They are master of chaos, destroying things around them and always calling you to come and fix it. One thing is being clumsy (or being MIL from CrazyChineseFamily) and the other thing is they just want to see you more. So if their computer is breaking down 7 days a week but they still refuse to give it to the service that means they just really want to see you. Or they are too cheap and hope you graduated from Hogwarts.

imageSo next time you think your in-laws secretly plot how to kill you, maybe what they mean is ‘We accept you, but you will be watched if you’re good enough for our Little Treasure. So be good. And no touching’.

How your partner’s parents show they like you? Or maybe how they dislike you? Share your stories! 🙂

32 thoughts on “如何得知外父外母愛惜你?- signs your in-laws like you

  1. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I did not get to meet my husband’s parents. They both passed before I met my husband. I have many brothers and sisters-in-law though. They’re all awesome. I couldn’t ask for more.


          1. So true! Not only the cards, but the gifts. OMG, more than a dozen nephews and nieces. Holidays are wallet breaking seasons! But they’re great people so, I don’t mind. 😊


            1. I’m the only child but my mom’s sister has 5 kids, some of them are married with kids etc. so when my maternal grandfather counted how much he would have to spend on last christmas with a newborn baby as well he said he feels sick and stayed home. Now that’s awkward haha but it must be so fun for everyone to meet 🙂 I just feel sorry for the person who cooks haha 🙂


  2. Wow. I wish my future Chinese-father-in-law was as quiet as yours. And I’m sure he wishes the same of me!

    I hear you with the gifts. I tried to give my future in-laws all kinds of stuff. They keep returning the gifts. I think Andy and I finally settled on flowers because they can’t be returned!


    1. Don’t underestimate your inlaws – rule one: everything can be returned as long as you really (loudly) want it to be returned haha 😉 WahWah is cool, I think just Momzilla uses the ammount of words that is for both of them to use and that’s why he’s so quiet! 🙂 but it doesn’t sound so bad with your family hope it can only be better 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband and I have been married nearly 44 years. Before my in laws passed away, they kinda – sorta almost, maybe accepted me – a little bit. (Not Chinese either.) You see, I was a nobody from the wrong side of town who married the heir apparent, number one son against their wishes. On my side, they tolerate Hal. Mom finally sees him as a good provider, but dad still thinks he spoiled his daughter by sleeping with her – even if it was after we eloped.

    Neither set of parents ever met the other. Mine stayed in Oklahoma, his stayed in California and they were never in the same place at the same time. Lets just say bad blood between them because their kids decided at the tender age of 16 (me) and 19 (Hal) to make a life together. Totally ticked them off.

    You got lucky with a Chinese MIL who actually likes you. My friend married a Chinese man – she is English and white – and his parents haven’t accepted it at all. Even after 26 years, they still complain that their grandchildren are not 100% Chinese. (rolling eyes here.)


    1. First of all, congratulations on such a long lasting marriage and I thought 25 years for my parents is impressive 🙂 Even thought your families weren’t too supportive you still managed to stay together and be happy and that’s truly amazing!


  4. Funny enough, my parents look really much like yours Lina!

    Lovely, respectful, balanced and caring-but-not-intrusive kinda parents. My boyfriend was actually shocked at how well we get along in my family, especially considering that my parents are divorced (which according to the Asian mindset would be n.1 family’s disgrace).

    On the other hand, his mom is terrible. Just terrible. She definitely does some of the things you listed, for example showing up at any occasion (God bless the distance).

    However, she is a bit different from your momzilla. For example she does not regard my bf (eldest and only son) as the king of the family.

    That is because SHE is the queen of the family. No one is more important than her. No one knows better than her. Everyone must be always ready to serve her, help her out, do things for her. If they don’t, then they are ungrateful, evil, selfish and spolied brats. She is schemy and controlling in ways that I previously thought existed only in movies.

    Man, even just describing her makes my blood boil!


    1. Wow, I think she should get the Momzilla title. I’m not supporting ‘Little Prince’ type of the family but some people have literally no mother’s instinct. I’m so sorry you have to deal with crap like this, but at least your family gives you and your boyfriend some normal family relationship. I don’t think his mom can change but at least there’s always your family. I keep my fingers crossed that the real Momzilla won’t drive you crazy!


  5. My family always asks how Tony is doing especially my grandma. It is the first thing I hear when they call. 😛

    As for Tony’s parents his mom will comment on the things I do. Tony’s dad doesn’t say anything. I think that’s a good sign…. >w> Gifts are always a problem like you said. I’m still attempting to learn the way they show affection. Lucky for me his mom is a little more open to giving me hugs and holding my arms as we walk. It’s cute. 🙂


  6. This cheered me up, shortly. MIL is arriving on Thursday and my pc is still in parts waiting for the delivery man bringing me the needed stuff (wtf, why these crucial things takes nearly two weeks to be delivered and any useless stuff is at our door next day!!!)

    In the beginning I could not tell either anything about my in-laws. FIL never said anything which is according to you ain’t a bad thing and MIL, well I knew from the beginning that she must be the crazy one in the family no one usually talks about.mnow after over five years FIL is still not the talkative one but I think I canread his face a bit….and MIL is still the crazy one no one talks about Ina good family :p

    I can’t really say how much they approved of me in the beginning, especially as I was still a student without any job but I believe MIL only cared at that time about the possible mixed grandchild. Well, now she got her mixed grandson so she should be happy but besides that she had been nice and only occasionally broke important things in our house which should be a good sign 🙂


  7. No!! When they say you should not waste money buying them gifts, don’t take it literally! Keep buying!! And if they wants to return the gifts to you, NEVER EVER accept it!! Be more stubborn than them! Threaten to throw the gifts away if they return them!

    It is a Chinese tradition to refuse gifts three times before properly accepting it. They can only be taken seriously if they refused more than three times!


    1. I know the tradition, but the rest of the family after the refusal smiles and thanks but Momzilla will complain the whole day how could I spend money on myself (or better – on Sing :D). I’ve seen her only once giving her The Fist Of Approval (after the refusal she punches you three times in the arm and smiles as thank you :D), but it was only once and only when the gift came from both Sing and me and not just me 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I still don’t know what my boyfriend’s mum thinks of me. I don’t speak Korean (much), she doesn’t speak English, she’s patted me on the arm a bit, smiled at me and hugged me once. Then there’s all my boyfriend’s aunts… I think they find me too different to them a lot of the time ;___; He doesn’t see his dad’s family (thank god), but he has enough family on his mum’s side for me to worry about!


  9. Hahaha, I loved the kinder surprise story 🙂

    My MIL is completely fine with me, the last thing she said that surprised me was that “I have a very good character because I never get angry” and he scolded my bf for pinching my arm when we were in the car 😀 And my FIL, the other day he gave me a watch out of the blue xD


  10. The story of how my mil accepted me is more of a whole post but my favorite smaller story is a letter from her after we moved to Canada that she signed “Japan Mother” in English. It still makes me melt. My fil was welcoming from day 1 and if you sit down to have a drink with him, you’re friends for life. 😀


  11. lol. it’s true. in all the years i lived life, abroad or at home, in an asian culture it’s more important to ‘do’ things to show that you care, instead of to ‘say’ the words.


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