缺點變優點 – turning disadvantages into advantages

Every now and then I get e-mails or private messages on Facebook asking me for advice – how to pick up a girl? IMG_4559Well, you bend down, grab her by the legs, throw her on your shoulder and run as fast as you can.

But seriously, I don’t think I should be the one answering this question because it was Sing, also known as Dating Master, who escaped from the friendzone.

Although if you expect a better advice than mine, you will be pretty disappointed.
That’s the main reason  never asked him to do a post like in those teenage magazines – ‘Dear Anna… I mean Sing…’. He is TERRIBLE in giving any sort of advice.
During our last days in Bay Area we met a friend who complained a girl didn’t like him as much as he likes her. What did Sing do? Cheer him up? Said a joke? Got deeper inside the problem? Nah, his advice was ‘Tell her to like you back’. With a straight face. And he wasn’t joking. I was sitting there with my mouth opened and embarrassed. I even started to think his name doesn’t come from Cantonese ‘Win’ but from English ‘EmbarrasSING’.

It all sounds stupid and crazy, but he is really convinced that it works and. His theory is that you should always have a counterargument to any reason a girl might not date you. He says that this way you either convince her to actually give you a chance, or hang out with her so she doesn’t need to go through the whole discussion all over again and maybe eventually one day she will share your feelings (apparently he did the same with me – according to him) or at least she will give you a list of things you can change in yourself to be seen as more attractive guy (inside or/and outside) instead of pulling out ‘The Good Guy Card’. Also known as ‘The Nice Guy Card’ – thing that scares and confused every guy. Because how you can be too nice? Personally, looking at my friends’ reactions, the GGcard is the worst insult to a Hong Kong man. So even if you don’t end up with a girl you like, at least you avoid the slap of the card on your cheek.

But then how to answer a girl who doesn’t seem interested in you? Don’t worry, Dating Brother will help you out! Just follow his replies to the most common reasons a girl wouldn’t want to date you

  • You’re too nice – If I’m nice then date me, I won’t break your heart and I will always treat you right
  • You’re too close to your mother – I respect a woman who gave me life
  • I don’t like your family – You don’t need to visit them oftenimage (7)
  • I’m not ready for a relationship – I can wait, I’m a patient guy
  • You’re not my type – What’s your type? I can work on it.
    (This one might actually work out, I know now a couple – he changed his style a bit, cut his hair and she changed her mind).
  • You remind me of my brother – Ever heard of Lannisters?
    (I don’t even… WOW… But I have to give the guy a point for sense of humor and Game of Thrones reference)
  • My parents would be happy if I dated outside my race – At least let them know me, maybe they will change their mind?
  • It’s not you, it’s me – Don’t worry, I like you the way you are.
  • My brothers are mean and I don’t want you to get hurt – I’m Asian, I can do kung fu/jujitsu/karate/etc. (Great, stereotype yourself)
  • I don’t feel like being in long distance relations – Have you even tried to be in one before? We could give it a shot
  • I don’t like drinking/smoking guys – I can quit
    (Yes, and I can give up chocolate)
  • You’re too cheap – I’m just good at money management, that way we can afford to travel the world more
  • You’re too shy – I’m a good listener

If by now you wonder who on Earth did that work and for what strange reason him and I are married… don’t worry, I often wonder too. Well, at least there’s one example it might work (if your girl is into weird, awkward, annoyingly brazen guys) and if he could make it there’s a chance, 1:1 000 000 000 that it might work again. Or even already worked, but the girl is now locked somewhere without the Internet and cannot write image (6)about it. OK, that was a terrible, bad, inappropriate joke – problem of stalking and harrasement is really serious and sadly even my fellow bloggers have suffered from it. Click here to read Ruth’s post, here for Linda’s post,  here for Amanda’s post and here for Jocelyn’s story. Eve thought my posts are humorous and I write this in a joking form, there’s a very thin line between being into someone and being… kinda psycho ? and we can’t forget that.

Anyway – going back to the topic of changing disadvantages into advantages. On a serious note – it’s not about forcing someone to share your feelings, but either to face the real reason of rejection instead of that stupid ‘You’re too nice’ or actually make some giggle this way and use it as a path to her heart. Sing is awkward, his advice is even more awkward but that was the way he made me smile and laugh, the best way he could approach me. Different people have different ways to approach people they like – it might seem awkward, stubborn, stupid, whatever. But it works! So just do what you feel like, make it honest and eventually it will work. Just don’t try too hard or you might end up with a restraining order.

At the end I’m just curious – can you find an excuse that Sing won’t be able to reply? Leave your suggestions in the comment section! Feel free to share your point of view in this topic! I would love to read your opinion!

47 thoughts on “缺點變優點 – turning disadvantages into advantages

  1. Such a hilarious, and weirdly sweet post! I agree that the Good Guy card is absolute BS! If a guy is really nice I’ll like him more, it means that you can trust them and they’ll be lovely to you. Amongst other things, I’m attracted to good humour, intelligence, and confidence and you don’t need a bad boy for those. In fact a nice guy is particularly important in regards to confidence because they won’t be cocky or arrogant about it.


  2. I think his logic is good [and funny] but I have one friend who is only attracted to ‘bad boys.’ There are some real nice guys who have been interested in her but she would always finds an excuse, like there is no spark, no chemistry, he is too sweet, etc. I wonder what the master would say about this! 😉


    1. Knowing him he would probably pop out with something like ‘don’t worry, that’s just a temporary feeling’ or start singing Katy Perry ‘Firework’ – second option more possible 😀


  3. I am in awe 😮
    Sing might be the next god of dating! with him there won’t be any problems left in the world (at least dating wise…)
    To be honest, I would have not any real comebacks from those things, at least I can’t think of any. I most likely would die a silent death when confronted like that :p


  4. It’s the same with making new friends in a new country or area. Sometimes you just have to go up and start talking to people! I’m gradually making friends, mostly at the gym, but it takes a few weeks or months of hellos before you start talking.


  5. I have tried most of his responses before, and I can testify that it doesn’t work! At least not on Asian ladies!

    But seriously, if you pay attention to so-called legitimate love gurus, they like to tell you that girls like guys who are bold and take charge. Well, Sing’s responses would fit into that category. So the next thing to say is that those love gurus are mostly frickin liars!


    1. Sing is like a love guru… Not 😀 sometimes he pops out with such a random response that I have to sit down – that’s how stupid it can be 😀 it’s not that he is self confident or anything, Mozilla just taught him to have the last word so whatever you say he will respond. It doesn’t matter it doesn’t make sense or its not connected to the topic at all – his word is the last word. I don’t know how it happened that we are together, even American scientists cannot tell 😀 maybe try Polish girls? :>


  6. Dumb as this may seem, for me, it’s too much intellectual effort to think of comebacks in a dating situation.

    My advice: Just be lazy and be your nice respectful, honest and faithful self…forever. 😀


  7. D’awwwwww, he’s such a cutie.

    I can’t remember exactly how Ryosuke and I got together – but I know he USED to be all sweet and “you’re my one true love.” Now he’s just silly.


    1. That’s the advantage he has from me – my parents had no clue there’s a tradition like that and Sing didn’t bother to inform them 😀 once he popped out with ‘I love you, I love you even more when I think hoe much money I saved skipping all those proposal money, pick up at the door money, didn’t have to buy a flat… I’m so lucky’ 😀 I should change the name of blog to my cheapass husband 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. To be honest, there is nothing you can do for the initial attraction. Sure you can lose a date by not saying the right things, but you can’t make a girl like you by projecting confidence/saying things. Most of the time it is visual, if they like the look of you then that’s your only opening.


  9. Ok I need to know Sing’s response to this one. I am going to call them Singisms. There was this guy that I befriended on Weixin. He was cute and we talked daily. Below is the dialogue.

    Him: I really want to date a foreign girl they are so free spirited than Chinese girls
    me: Then you should try it
    Him: Can you introduce me to foreign girls. You must know a lot.
    Me: I’m a foreign girl
    Him(long pause): No, I want a pretty foreign girl. Like one with blonde hair and blue eyes.

    Crash burn would and doused with gasoline. WWSD=What Would Sing Do. That post was funny and refreshing but I don’t know how it would work in my life.


    1. lol, we asian men blame asian women for idolising white standards of beauty, but a lot of us do the same. So sad!


        1. Either way, it was extremely nasty to reply “No, I want a pretty girl”… methinks that guy will have a hard time getting any girl with that sort of talk.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. I asked him and he said ‘I know how to deal with a girl rejecting me, not idiots’ – I guess so narrow-minded people are not worth to be around you. I was really diisappointed because one of our friends had a beautiful, warm and kind girlfriend but since his family is very ‘white-obsessed’ and crap like that they asked him to break up with her and he actually did that. didn’t really talk to him after that, because for me it’s just stupid and i don’t like stupid people. I’m so sorry that you need to face people like this :/ for me if I get mad I would probably tell something like ‘so you with your dark hair and dark eyes consider yourself ugly? ok’. I hope you will meet someone who won’t be dumb and blind 🙂


  10. Haha – great blog! Why have I not read this before???

    Ok Sing… Try out these:
    I do not usually go out with anyone on days that end with the letters “day”. Sorry, personal preference.

    Great comments section MHKH – I have a lot to learn! 🙂


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