Every now and then I get e-mails or private messages on Facebook asking me for advice – how to pick up a girl? Well, you bend down, grab her by the legs, throw her on your shoulder and run as fast as you can.
But seriously, I don’t think I should be the one answering this question because it was Sing, also known as Dating Master, who escaped from the friendzone.
Although if you expect a better advice than mine, you will be pretty disappointed.
That’s the main reason never asked him to do a post like in those teenage magazines – ‘Dear Anna… I mean Sing…’. He is TERRIBLE in giving any sort of advice.
During our last days in Bay Area we met a friend who complained a girl didn’t like him as much as he likes her. What did Sing do? Cheer him up? Said a joke? Got deeper inside the problem? Nah, his advice was ‘Tell her to like you back’. With a straight face. And he wasn’t joking. I was sitting there with my mouth opened and embarrassed. I even started to think his name doesn’t come from Cantonese ‘Win’ but from English ‘EmbarrasSING’.
It all sounds stupid and crazy, but he is really convinced that it works and. His theory is that you should always have a counterargument to any reason a girl might not date you. He says that this way you either convince her to actually give you a chance, or hang out with her so she doesn’t need to go through the whole discussion all over again and maybe eventually one day she will share your feelings (apparently he did the same with me – according to him) or at least she will give you a list of things you can change in yourself to be seen as more attractive guy (inside or/and outside) instead of pulling out ‘The Good Guy Card’. Also known as ‘The Nice Guy Card’ – thing that scares and confused every guy. Because how you can be too nice? Personally, looking at my friends’ reactions, the GGcard is the worst insult to a Hong Kong man. So even if you don’t end up with a girl you like, at least you avoid the slap of the card on your cheek.
But then how to answer a girl who doesn’t seem interested in you? Don’t worry, Dating Brother will help you out! Just follow his replies to the most common reasons a girl wouldn’t want to date you
- You’re too nice – If I’m nice then date me, I won’t break your heart and I will always treat you right
- You’re too close to your mother – I respect a woman who gave me life
- I don’t like your family – You don’t need to visit them often
- I’m not ready for a relationship – I can wait, I’m a patient guy
- You’re not my type – What’s your type? I can work on it.
(This one might actually work out, I know now a couple – he changed his style a bit, cut his hair and she changed her mind).
- You remind me of my brother – Ever heard of Lannisters?
(I don’t even… WOW… But I have to give the guy a point for sense of humor and Game of Thrones reference)
- My parents would be happy if I dated outside my race – At least let them know me, maybe they will change their mind?
- It’s not you, it’s me – Don’t worry, I like you the way you are.
- My brothers are mean and I don’t want you to get hurt – I’m Asian, I can do kung fu/jujitsu/karate/etc. (Great, stereotype yourself)
- I don’t feel like being in long distance relations – Have you even tried to be in one before? We could give it a shot
- I don’t like drinking/smoking guys – I can quit
(Yes, and I can give up chocolate)
- You’re too cheap – I’m just good at money management, that way we can afford to travel the world more
- You’re too shy – I’m a good listener
If by now you wonder who on Earth did that work and for what strange reason him and I are married… don’t worry, I often wonder too. Well, at least there’s one example it might work (if your girl is into weird, awkward, annoyingly brazen guys) and if he could make it there’s a chance, 1:1 000 000 000 that it might work again. Or even already worked, but the girl is now locked somewhere without the Internet and cannot write about it. OK, that was a terrible, bad, inappropriate joke – problem of stalking and harrasement is really serious and sadly even my fellow bloggers have suffered from it. Click here to read Ruth’s post, here for Linda’s post, here for Amanda’s post and here for Jocelyn’s story. Eve thought my posts are humorous and I write this in a joking form, there’s a very thin line between being into someone and being… kinda psycho ? and we can’t forget that.
Anyway – going back to the topic of changing disadvantages into advantages. On a serious note – it’s not about forcing someone to share your feelings, but either to face the real reason of rejection instead of that stupid ‘You’re too nice’ or actually make some giggle this way and use it as a path to her heart. Sing is awkward, his advice is even more awkward but that was the way he made me smile and laugh, the best way he could approach me. Different people have different ways to approach people they like – it might seem awkward, stubborn, stupid, whatever. But it works! So just do what you feel like, make it honest and eventually it will work. Just don’t try too hard or you might end up with a restraining order.
At the end I’m just curious – can you find an excuse that Sing won’t be able to reply? Leave your suggestions in the comment section! Feel free to share your point of view in this topic! I would love to read your opinion!