Apparently somehow you seem to like my grumpy husband’s posts. With all the moving, packing and cat-paperwork stuff I can use it as an excuse to let him do all the dirty, writing work, just give him an idea and see how he almost cries ‘Babe, do I really have to?’.
This time he writes about a situation that a lot of young Hongkongers (and not only!) are dealing with: being young and single. I know it seams like not really serious problem, but if you go through forums and blogs you can see a lot of people who were in the same situation, as young kids they were forced to only study and then when they grow up they are expected to get married right away or at least be in a serious relationship leading to marriage. But because of that ‘study hard, don’t think about girls/boys’ they don’t have (sometimes any) dating experience. But let Sing tell you more about this problem and his thought on this topic!
Don’t date and study hard, you won’t need to worry about girls when you have money. I have been listening to that since middle school. Personally after so many years of living in different countries, I think that statement is somewhat accurate. Money can get you woman, whether long term “GF” or short term one night stand. However, are you satisfied with this kind of ending?
Unfortunately, I did listen to my mum and studied hard. The moment of getting a high score did make me feel good in front of the other, but at the end of the day I was still a lonely single guy for over 20 years.
My first real love life started when I was an adult. Before that I basically was like the otaku in Densha Otoko, BTW this is my most favorite drama which I have to watch over and over from time to time. So back to the topic, when I was young, study was what I did. I was not good at sports, I was not good at video games although I enjoy playing it, I was not talented artists. Therefore I don’t have much to talk with girls beside my findings during my study. Something I gave people a feeling that I only talk serious things like politics and science. But deep in my heart I wanted to find a girl that cares about me and can talk the topics that we are interested, instead of LV or food.
Sadly I went to a boy school with a cross on top of the roof. Things got even worse that we have guys that were able to date girls from the school next door. I know being an Asian living in Australia is not the most advantageous thing, especially at high school I thought my good student character will attract smart girls too. Turns out that muscular A-holes who was good at BS gets the most girls.
When I saw the article of “The life of a single/poison guy”, I felt what he felt. The reality is guys like us already receive the good-man card which makes us frustrated. However, what I don’t want to see is we keep complaining to the society. Put it in the way at my work, we should look at ourselves and do a Failure Analysis, use 5-why or fish bone diagram to find out the root cause of each failure and learn from it. If a girl doesn’t like the way you talk, then listen more. If a girl doesn’t like your appearance, then take a look of some trendy magazines. It is almost unavoidable that girls will look at your physical appearance before they even talk to you.
My point of writing this is not only to show any sympathy to the people who can’t find a girlfriend, because I’ve been there too. What I am trying to say is if you want to have a girlfriend, either:
- Study really hard so you end up with a good job or good connection in fancy college, so you can earn good money (to be honest I doubt if it’s that easy since job market isn’t at its best time everywhere but who knows at the time you graduate?), then you can start from there. It will satisfy your parents, maybe it will give you inside satisfaction but you can become a gold digger magnet.
- Take care of your appearance, when you see not so handsome people still can find a cute girl, quite often is because they maximize the effect of their appearance. So shave up and dress up! (Said Sing with 4 facial hair. But I have to agree, he might not be the most handsome guy, but if he dresses up nicely, calms his pineapple hairstyle, puts lenses instead of glasses and moment later my legs looks like frog’s legs – Lina)
- Try to talk! Nothing will happen if you only stare at your crush from the back, except she will think you are the stalker if she finds out. Talking won’t hurt, this is what I found out after dealing with sales and marketing in my company. Trial and error will definitely open some conversation between you and the others. Let them know you! Let them know your passion and interest, this all starts from the moment you open your mouth.
Lastly I just want to say, date more, know more about girls! Once you start to know what they like, they are not that untouchable. So just calm yourself and go ahead while you are young!
Is it similar in your environment or culture in your country? Any advice you can give to the youngsters? Love to read your comments (not to mention Sing gets vain and grows 5 cm in height every time you agree with him)!