老公出差的好與壞 – pros and cons of your partner’s business trip

I think I totally lost the track of time, because today when I looked at the calendar 1384844859-1905071995I’ve noticed Sing’s business trip is almost half way done! Technically in 29 days he should be back so I guess it’s a good time to share my view of . Maybe I should change the title to MY partner’s business trip but I think some of you might relate to my thoughts.

Just to let you know – since I was a child I was used to ‘the man being away’. My dad was successful in his army career so often he was sent to the range or around the National Independence Day he was off to Warsaw as a representative and I think that’s why I’m not crying my eyes out for Sing to be away, I like to tell myself it’s just a preparation for the time we go back to Hong Kong and he will have to often travel, just like his other friends do: most of the time they go to China or South East Asian countries for a couple of days. Hey, any reason to keep myself cheered up is a good reason.

Of course I didn’t expect Sing will go at all: he was told by his company he will be working only in California and now he is on a 2 months long trip to Ireland. That escalated quickly. But since I cannot really do much about it I try to enjoy the time alone as much as I can. Look at this:

  • I have a whole bed for myself. We have a tiny bedroom with a tiny bed. But Sing and his butt are not that tiny, add a cat between us and someone will be almost sleeping on the floor. Now when he’s away I can enjoy my half image (38)of the bed, if I by accident move to Biscuit’s part either I will wake up with a close up of her butthole or by her tiny little feet stabbing my ribs.
  • I can eat whatever I want. There’s no ‘too much sugar’ or ‘but I don’t feel like eating this’. I don’t need to be a considered wife who would spoil her husband and if I want to eat a cake I just buy a whole cake and eat it. Don’t worry, I’m a nice person and shared with our landlord’s family. I won’t lie, it was painful to see half cake gone, but I think I just dodged a ‘diabetes-bullet’.
  • I don’t need to clean or do housework. Why you ask? Because the villain of our household is gone. Dr Chaos also known as Sing-You-Forgot-To-Put-The-Dirty-Plate-Back-To-The-Sink-I-Promise-Next-Time-I-Kill-You, is gone. I’m a very tidy person and if Sing is not home then I just do the basic cleaning like dusting or swiping the floor and the house stays the same. Somehow when Sing is back our house changes into a war zone.
  • I made friends. And they are not imaginary! They are not even CATS! For over year and a half with Sing I just had neighbors and housemates (our house is divided into 3 flats) but since I’m alone I can go out more, there’s no more ‘I think I need to start cooking because Sing will be back so maybe we can go out some other time’. To be honest last few days I was almost offline all the time because I hang out with a girl who lives in the same house but never really had a lot of free time to sit and talk. We will even spend New Year’s Eve together. I consider it as one of the biggest success for me in this year and helps me to get through the whole being-away thing.
  • image (39)I can talk about cute guys. I scolded my husband for that when I asked him to help me write the post, but the fact is I can freely talk about all my music and movie crushes or talk about Kamenashi’s hair a’la late Beyond. Not only about the crushes but just enjoy the girly-talk I missed so much!
  • I’m more independent and more confident being in America. I’m all alone and in case something happens I need to face strangers, maybe ask for help, deal with banks on my own – those little reality-checks I’m facing everyday gave me little bit more comfort of living here, I’m less stressed outside and I don’t feel THAT awkward. Because who will bring that 42 LBS of litter and 20 LBS of cat food for the kitty-lord if not me? Crazy cat mommy gotta do what crazy cat mommy gotta do. And since I don’t have a car I needed to ask people I know for help – in the past I would probably die walking back to the bus stop with the litter in my hands, but I would continue my father’s tradition of ‘not bothering anyone’. Yay me!
  • Sing is so guilty I can get whatever I ask for. I just need to add ‘because I’m so sad missing you’ with two or more sad emoticons.
    At this point Sing should be happy I’m also cheap because he would be filling a bankruptcy by now and joke around ‘When a woman can make man a millionaire? If he is a bilbillionaire’. But I won’t lie – a sweater and EOS lip balm came from ‘the sad shopping’.
  • It gave a chance for Sing to be more romantic then usual. He is normally not romantic at all. He and romance is like Momzilla and drinking cold water. But on Christmas Eve he sent one of his coworkers to bring me a Christmas gift. It was really cute and adorable, honestly I wouldn’t expect that from him and he scored some points in The Best Hubby Contest.
  • I’m on my own with Cantonese. We are 8 hours away and he is constantly busy since the opening of the factory is really soon so not all the translations I make for my blog or my Facebook page can be checked by him. I sometimes make up some stupid sentence that hardly makes any sense, but it also gives me more chances to interact with language without his help. I need to put twice more effort than usually, but I know it will benefit me. You die trying to teach yourself Cantonese of you live long enough to see what crap you made up. 
  • Souvenirs. My fridge soon won’t handle the amount of magnets on them, my shelves will be full of some Irish snacks once he is back. Postcards, cute crap that is probably made in China but has ‘Ireland’ on it. Even my mom used Google Translate and sent him a message on WhatsApp to remember about magnets for them.

The cons are… I miss him. Even when he is really annoying and tidy-destructive. I know I made a progress for myself when he is away, but I just wish he witnessed my little everyday wins. Hopefully a lot of those things will stay the same way when he is back, but I really try not to think of the bad sides, it won’t really help me, it will only make me more bitter and upset.
Oh, and I forgot about really serious minus: the lack of having an everyday driver. It might not be a big deal in a city area but trust me – you don’t want to spend an hour waiting for another bus to come. And no, I won’t make a driving license because it’s a real life not GTA, I cannot run through people on a side walk and pretend nothing happened.

image (40)As I mentioned before I tried to make Sing contribute to the post, show his point of view as the one who is traveling now but once I saw what he wrote I was like ‘Nevermind, you’re a terrible human being’. I know he said he misses me, but I think it’s more like ‘I miss you around because I bought myself a pair of jeans and now all my clothes are blue‘. That’s a guy with two engineering degrees and you all should be happy he didn’t continue aerospace engineering for his master’s degree.

My advice is for everyone of you who will face the same problem is try to stay positive and look for all the good things that might happen because of the trip: better opportunities in future, the happiness of seeing each other again, time just for yourself and working on yourself. It really does make things easier and just like me – you might not even notice that your partner will be soon back home.

image (45)What do you think are pros and cons of business trip in your opinion? Are you or your partner traveling alone? What advice would you gift to couple who have to face separation because of business trips? Share your thoughts and experiences! I will be so happy to read your comments! 🙂

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49 thoughts on “老公出差的好與壞 – pros and cons of your partner’s business trip

  1. I know what you mean about the little everyday accomplishments. I experienced that feeling every time I did something new in Taiwan – however, my biggest accomplishments were (and still are) finding a place without getting lost.

    I accompanied my husband on the business trips he went on. I mean who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to go to France, New York, and Las Vegas!! We spent some extra time in each country when he was done.

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    1. I would do the same but there’s no one to take care of Biscuit at our place and I don’t want to give her away…
      I thought of taking her with me, but then all the documents etc. plus the fact I need to change the airplane at least once makes it much more difficult :/
      Cat gives a lot of pleasure but it also blocks a lot of opportunities.
      But your trip were awesome I guess! 🙂

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        1. maybe if it was Paris, Tokyo, New York… but small town 2h away from my parents place by the airplane… nah, I will snuggle with Biscuit haha especially now 3 other coworkers joined Sing so there’s no need for me to come 🙂

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      1. Now it makes sense you’re not in Ireland. (I had hard time figuring that out until you posted your comment). Yeah…I guess there’s a lot of paperwork and switching planes would make it difficult.

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        1. well, there’s always the money factor haha but the company offered us to pay for the ticket. I don’t like flying in general, to make matter worse – Biscuit got eye infection. I think my cat is broken haha 🙂

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  2. Oh my gosh, I like everything about this post. I’m away from my husband a lot, so I can relate to almost all of the things you wrote about, especially eating whatever you want and having the whole bed to yourself, although after a while, eating whatever you want is a dangerous game, and having the whole bed to yourself can start to feel lonely. Good thing you guys are almost together again soon!

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  3. Totally agree about the bed! And you don’t have anyone pulling all the blankets to his side! But on the bad part, you don’t have a human heater next to you and that is a pity when it’s cold 😀

    I also agree about the making friends part, it happened the same to me, I am with my bf the whole time so I don’t know many other people… And because he is a local here I grew lazy and let do him everything related to paying the bills.

    You are halfway through! Enjoy the positive aspects while you can because he will be back soon! 😀

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        1. Your dog probably wonders why you hate him, in his mind of course 😀
          But I agree – Before we got Biscuit Sing told me he doesn’t want the cat in our bed and one night instead of kicking her out he let her stay and since that time she takes half of the bed and we need to share the rest of it. Not to mention all the hair everywhere! So don’t make that mistake haha

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  4. Same here, Everytime my wife was away on some seminars the apartment didn’t get messy in days. But as soon as she is back I am basically cleaning up evryday, such as before going to bed searching for cups and plates all over the apartment as she just lets them be were she used them instead of taking them to the kitchen….!
    I bet she got this from MIL, as MIL is not doing thse things either 🙂

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  5. I agree with you! My husband also travels frequently visiting his clients leaving me with our two teen children. I enjoy my time just with the children…no “ask your Dad first” situations but surely there are times when I wish I have my husband around when I face challenging teens’ problems. As you mentioned, “stay positive” is the key to enjoy the temporary “partner-less” situation.

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      1. If you both plan to have children, with him away for many months, would not be a good thing at all. Otherwise, what’s a marriage?

        Long distance is workable for awhile for couples without children. The game changes when there are children.

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  6. This is an excellent post. I love your pros, especially the one about making new friends and the one about becoming more independent and more confident about being in America.

    When we lived in the Philippines, my husband traveled about one-third of the time. Most of his trips lasted for two or three weeks. Phone calls were too expensive in those days, so he wrote letters that often arrived after he did. I missed him, but it was good to be forced to handle things on my own.

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  7. During the holidays or summer we are usually away visiting our own families. It’s not so bad because we keep in contact messaging each other. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. 😛 However, when we are together in person we’re that weird couple that likes to fight and argue with each other. You wouldn’t even realize we are actually a couple. But, whenever we are apart we are a lot more lovely dovey.

    Also, I get to eat all the sweets I want! My bf never lets me buy sweets when he is around. 😦 I take advantage of my time to buy miniature my little pony figures to add to my collection. My bf says it’s a waste of money, but I can’t help it. I love them! #guiltypleasure #mlp

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  8. When I moved to Singapore with my children, my husband can’t get use to the hot weather in Singapore so he stay in England to work and we email to each other and truck call once a week to check the progress on the children and I do enjoy the freedom even we were apart but our bond become more stronger and we hardly quarrel when we are back together again.

    So I think there is a advantage of husband is away on business trip it make the heart grow fonder of each other.

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  9. I’m really just preparing for CC going on business trips.. I mean we are already used to LDR, but I think that once we move to China, and we start living together again, I may not let him go again hahaha 😀 On a more serious note though, I am used to my dad going on business trips, just like you are used to from your childhood. In fact, (this is something my dad feels so bad about) when I was little, I would stand on the balcony and shout “daddy” to the mail man, because that was the man I saw the most, as my dad used to travel a lot with his company. He still does, but now I know the mail man is not my dad 😀 haha. And Sing got blue clothes? – nice! haha. I see that CC is not the only engineer that can’t wash clothes. He’s white clothes turned pink because he washed my red hello kitty socks together with all he’s white shirts 😀 haha. Good thing though – he’s clothes are now matching my baby pink clothes 😀

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    1. haha! Your story about yelling out “daddy” to the mail man is funny (and sad at the same time). Also that story of not separating clothes by darks & whites is funny too! 🙂 I can’t say that for myself b/c I’m pretty OCD about keep my white clothes as white as it can.

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      1. Haha, it is kind of funny, but also sad 😛 Now when we talk about it my dad laughs, but he does feel bad about it. But he is still traveling almost every week, but at least now I’m old enough to know who my dad is 😀
        I have to agree with you, white clothes can only be white 😀 haha.

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  10. Hey Lina…so I’m confused again…I know from reading some of your posts that Sing in Ireland on business trip, but are you in Hong Kong or in States? Your A Meow Cafe post is about a cafe in HK, but you sound like you’re in the States in this post.

    Anyhoo..Sing’s got such long long business trip! You make some good points about benefits being by yourself when you’re partner’s away. You have the whole bed to yourself…hehe. I, on the other hand, am not accustomed to sharing a bed yet due to my bachelor status….haha..unless it’s big bed, i’m afraid I’ll also knock someone on the floor, especially I like to toss and turn in my sleep.

    Good for your for being more comfortable with your community and neighbors and having time to hangout and getting to know them. I do wonder if you really had to drag 42lb bag of litter and 20lb bag of food; is that more than half your weight because I assume you’re a fairly petite woman? Looks like part of benefits of partner of being away is more than just self-reliance…but also strength building from the cat litter and food. 🙂

    Sorry, I wish give insight to your post, but I don’t travel at all for work. Not as exciting as Sing’s job. Furthermore, I don’t have partner…let alone one who travels either.

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    1. oh how I wish to be in Hong Kong right now! sadly I’m back in the States, I didn’t want to waste time in Hong Kong to write posts since the trip was 10D/9N trip so every moment counted 🙂 so there will be few more posts from our trip but sadly I’m stuck here 😦

      and yes I did drag that on my own, with help of my friend’s car haha that’s why I bought this size, if I had to take a bus I would take the smallest size but since she has costco membership I was like ‘oh heck, let’s that that huge ass packs’ – but from the car to the flat I took it in my own hands, I thought I will die haha and Biscuit doesn’t really like the food and it makes me annoyed haha 🙂

      aww don’t be upset! being away from the family is not that fun 🙂 and once you get a partner I don’t think you two would like to be separated :)! you’re so nice I’m sure it will happen soon! 🙂

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      1. Oh! That makes sense about the posts of two locations! Sure, I would too get as much of it if my time was limited in HK or wherever i was at for a short period of time. Hmmm….I wonder if Sing has time to travel a little bit since he’s there for about 2mo.

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        1. He went to some cities around the place where he stays, he and other guys plan also to go to Dublin. Sing lives such an European life I asked him if he cheats on me when he sent me a picture of him not only going to the cafe but… HE ORDERED A CAKE! But a selfie with guys proved me he just tries to feel European haha 🙂 I also got a postcard from Ireland and London :)!

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  11. Yay for postcards 🙂 I like old-fashion things like that…it has character! hahaha…that’s funny he sent to you a picture of him at a cafe with a cake! I bet he ate the entire cake by himself! lol. I wonder what kind a cake he had? When I used to live in Chicago, my buddies and I would something like that tooo…well maybe it’s usually eating out together. 😛

    I’ve never spent time in Europe before. So how does or can a person feel European?

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    1. be in Europe, I guess haha 🙂 for him going for the afternoon tea or having a cake is very European thing, like other places don’t do that haha 🙂
      it was a lemon cheesecake 🙂 I miss Polish style cheesecake 😦 maybe you had a chance to try since you used to live in Chicago – there’s a huge Polish community there

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      1. Ah, of course being in Europe..duh…why didnt’ i think of that. 😛 I do agree with the afternoon tea and cake thing. Hmm…polish cheesecake, I don’t think i ever tried it, but I’ll have get some next time I’m in Chicago (which youre absolutely right, there is a very large Polish community there).

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  12. Nice post! Me too, totally can relate except that I’m the one travelling at times… and I’ll tend to miss my home, the bed and hubby but I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder!

    I’ll drag my hubby with me on business trips if I can, although it can get a bit boring

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  13. The best solution of not being lonely would be reaching out to the community, joining new clubs and meeting new friends, and picking up new hobbies. You could also travel to a unfamiliar place with your cat. 😛 Take it as an adventure!

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  14. Like you, I could probably deal with my husband being away quite well. (Yes, bed space!) He doesn’t deal as well when I’m away, I found out. D: Just working, sleeping a little and eating ramen. I don’t think he had any real vegetables for almost 3 weeks! >_>

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