I think I totally lost the track of time, because today when I looked at the calendar I’ve noticed Sing’s business trip is almost half way done! Technically in 29 days he should be back so I guess it’s a good time to share my view of . Maybe I should change the title to MY partner’s business trip but I think some of you might relate to my thoughts.
Just to let you know – since I was a child I was used to ‘the man being away’. My dad was successful in his army career so often he was sent to the range or around the National Independence Day he was off to Warsaw as a representative and I think that’s why I’m not crying my eyes out for Sing to be away, I like to tell myself it’s just a preparation for the time we go back to Hong Kong and he will have to often travel, just like his other friends do: most of the time they go to China or South East Asian countries for a couple of days. Hey, any reason to keep myself cheered up is a good reason.
Of course I didn’t expect Sing will go at all: he was told by his company he will be working only in California and now he is on a 2 months long trip to Ireland. That escalated quickly. But since I cannot really do much about it I try to enjoy the time alone as much as I can. Look at this:
- I have a whole bed for myself. We have a tiny bedroom with a tiny bed. But Sing and his butt are not that tiny, add a cat between us and someone will be almost sleeping on the floor. Now when he’s away I can enjoy my half of the bed, if I by accident move to Biscuit’s part either I will wake up with a close up of her butthole or by her tiny little feet stabbing my ribs.
- I can eat whatever I want. There’s no ‘too much sugar’ or ‘but I don’t feel like eating this’. I don’t need to be a considered wife who would spoil her husband and if I want to eat a cake I just buy a whole cake and eat it. Don’t worry, I’m a nice person and shared with our landlord’s family. I won’t lie, it was painful to see half cake gone, but I think I just dodged a ‘diabetes-bullet’.
- I don’t need to clean or do housework. Why you ask? Because the villain of our household is gone. Dr Chaos also known as Sing-You-Forgot-To-Put-The-Dirty-Plate-Back-To-The-Sink-I-Promise-Next-Time-I-Kill-You, is gone. I’m a very tidy person and if Sing is not home then I just do the basic cleaning like dusting or swiping the floor and the house stays the same. Somehow when Sing is back our house changes into a war zone.
- I made friends. And they are not imaginary! They are not even CATS! For over year and a half with Sing I just had neighbors and housemates (our house is divided into 3 flats) but since I’m alone I can go out more, there’s no more ‘I think I need to start cooking because Sing will be back so maybe we can go out some other time’. To be honest last few days I was almost offline all the time because I hang out with a girl who lives in the same house but never really had a lot of free time to sit and talk. We will even spend New Year’s Eve together. I consider it as one of the biggest success for me in this year and helps me to get through the whole being-away thing.
- I can talk about cute guys. I scolded my husband for that when I asked him to help me write the post, but the fact is I can freely talk about all my music and movie crushes or talk about Kamenashi’s hair a’la late Beyond. Not only about the crushes but just enjoy the girly-talk I missed so much!
- I’m more independent and more confident being in America. I’m all alone and in case something happens I need to face strangers, maybe ask for help, deal with banks on my own – those little reality-checks I’m facing everyday gave me little bit more comfort of living here, I’m less stressed outside and I don’t feel THAT awkward. Because who will bring that 42 LBS of litter and 20 LBS of cat food for the kitty-lord if not me? Crazy cat mommy gotta do what crazy cat mommy gotta do. And since I don’t have a car I needed to ask people I know for help – in the past I would probably die walking back to the bus stop with the litter in my hands, but I would continue my father’s tradition of ‘not bothering anyone’. Yay me!
- Sing is so guilty I can get whatever I ask for. I just need to add ‘because I’m so sad missing you’ with two or more sad emoticons.
At this point Sing should be happy I’m also cheap because he would be filling a bankruptcy by now and joke around ‘When a woman can make man a millionaire? If he is a bilbillionaire’. But I won’t lie – a sweater and EOS lip balm came from ‘the sad shopping’.
- It gave a chance for Sing to be more romantic then usual. He is normally not romantic at all. He and romance is like Momzilla and drinking cold water. But on Christmas Eve he sent one of his coworkers to bring me a Christmas gift. It was really cute and adorable, honestly I wouldn’t expect that from him and he scored some points in The Best Hubby Contest.
- I’m on my own with Cantonese. We are 8 hours away and he is constantly busy since the opening of the factory is really soon so not all the translations I make for my blog or my Facebook page can be checked by him. I sometimes make up some stupid sentence that hardly makes any sense, but it also gives me more chances to interact with language without his help. I need to put twice more effort than usually, but I know it will benefit me. You die trying to teach yourself Cantonese of you live long enough to see what crap you made up.
- Souvenirs. My fridge soon won’t handle the amount of magnets on them, my shelves will be full of some Irish snacks once he is back. Postcards, cute crap that is probably made in China but has ‘Ireland’ on it. Even my mom used Google Translate and sent him a message on WhatsApp to remember about magnets for them.
The cons are… I miss him. Even when he is really annoying and tidy-destructive. I know I made a progress for myself when he is away, but I just wish he witnessed my little everyday wins. Hopefully a lot of those things will stay the same way when he is back, but I really try not to think of the bad sides, it won’t really help me, it will only make me more bitter and upset.
Oh, and I forgot about really serious minus: the lack of having an everyday driver. It might not be a big deal in a city area but trust me – you don’t want to spend an hour waiting for another bus to come. And no, I won’t make a driving license because it’s a real life not GTA, I cannot run through people on a side walk and pretend nothing happened.
As I mentioned before I tried to make Sing contribute to the post, show his point of view as the one who is traveling now but once I saw what he wrote I was like ‘Nevermind, you’re a terrible human being’. I know he said he misses me, but I think it’s more like ‘I miss you around because I bought myself a pair of jeans and now all my clothes are blue‘. That’s a guy with two engineering degrees and you all should be happy he didn’t continue aerospace engineering for his master’s degree.
My advice is for everyone of you who will face the same problem is try to stay positive and look for all the good things that might happen because of the trip: better opportunities in future, the happiness of seeing each other again, time just for yourself and working on yourself. It really does make things easier and just like me – you might not even notice that your partner will be soon back home.
What do you think are pros and cons of business trip in your opinion? Are you or your partner traveling alone? What advice would you gift to couple who have to face separation because of business trips? Share your thoughts and experiences! I will be so happy to read your comments! 🙂