Life of a housewife – not as interesting as Life of Pi, I mean, I haven’t seen the movie but I’m pretty sure last 1.5 year of my life wouldn’t win the Academy Award.
I never thought that at the age of 23, the peak of my life, I will be a stay-at-home wife. When you think of interracial and international relationships you see those opportunities that are just a bonus to a lovely partner you have: traveling, seeing the world, meeting new cultures. Yes, that’s all true: I’ve traveled, I’ve seen the world, I met new cultures. But the path we chose and all the back-up plans I had, meant nothing to the reality, law, life opportunities of each other.
I sometimes read AMWF forums and I see people planning their future and taking those plans for granted. I won’t lie, I did the same. I thought everything will go exactly the way I wanted and if not – I had 2 other back-up plans. I was more naive than if I trusted Sing saying ‘My mom won’t come here and stay so long when you get pregnant’.
In the end Sing got a great job opportunity in America which forced me to become a housewife since a spouse of a visa holder cannot work. At least cannot for work money. Because being a housewife is technically a job too. Unless you ask Momzilla – her logic is ‘If you earn enough you can get a cook, a cleaning lady, gardener and even a girl’. You don’t need to work physically as long as it gives an income, therefore me being a small house manager working like a mad dog is just not considered a work.
My mother’s-in-law encouraging words don’t really help me in dealing with this situation. To be honest with you I hate being a housewife. I don’t deny I wouldn’t mind it if it was on my own terms, not that I’m forced to be here, in a middle of nowhere with no one to talk to. I’m so happy to have Biscuit because I would end up having conversations with myself – now I can personalize me in Biscuit’s body, which is not awkward and weird at all. I’m not so wealthy to enjoy this state – I’m not 太太 who will get tired with shopping in a luxurious boutiques, my definition of luxury shopping is right now is ROSS – dress for less and extra jasmine milk green tea less sweet, that costs 1USD more than the regular once. We have enough money for rent, to go out eat something in a reasonable price 2-3 times a week, we have little bit more than enough for us and the cat, but we also don’t have enough to afford a child so in other words you can see that my ‘entertainment’ is pretty limited. Especially when you live in a town where Walmart and McDonald’s seem to be two most attractive places. To do shopping I walk 2 km to the bus stop, then I take my few kilograms of shopping and I walk back another 2km. Yes, I’m a neighbor of Courage the Cowardly Dog – get it? 😉
Even though, as I said I hate being a housewife, at least I try to give 200% from myself. I’m the leader of the workship, przodownik pracy, 200% normy – the one who introduces superproduction, mainly based on the story of Wincenty Pstrowski, a miner who once achieved 270 percent of expected efficiency per month. That’s how I cook, that’s how I clean, that’s how I do my house chores, that’s how I plan our budget – I even got a special money book, because everyone knows that the best way to save money is spend 9USD to get a cute notebook from South Korea where you write your spendings. Actually if I worked as a part time cook, cleaner, gardener, delivery-boy and a laundry machine I would earn pretty good money. I always give everything from myself, in anything I do. Even though it feels like everyday is the same: cook, clean, feed the meowing butthole, I try to come up with different recipes, Sing always has few different side dishes with his rice, I bake cookies or muffins twice a week, I test new laundry detergent, look for some deals online. I’m literally managing the house, everything is written down and my receipts and scanned and kept on the external drive. You wish to have me around if you ever have to deal with tax control.
I made our place like a little company. Don’t know how other housewives feel but it makes me feel like I’m doing something extremely important and take my mind away from thinking ‘It’s not how I wanted to live my life’.
I know I might sound as bitter as bitter melon is, but there are also few advantages of being a housewife. Try to find me another type of work where you can watch 5 seasons of ‘Breaking Bad’ in 2 weeks period and then spend extra 3 days thinking how empty your life is once you know the ending. If you don’t have kids you can use that time to study your partners language or do something that is your passion. Not to mention you can take those naps you didn’t want to take while you were in kindergarten. 4PM and I’m out for half an hour. I can take a day off without putting people in trouble, I have time to call my parents.
I also think a big part of accepting the way things are now in my husband’s hands. He doesn’t use words like ‘my/your money’, he doesn’t let me feel the work I’m doing is useless. He will say ‘I’m so happy, you always cook so much food for me’ or ‘Guys at work were jealous of my lunchbox’. It could be much different if he hasn’t been the way he is – I know he likes the whole concept of ‘Me hungry, me bring dinosaur, you clean cave and cook dinosaur‘, but since he knows that it’s not my cup of tea he tries to show me his support.
So girls, and maybe some of you guys, if God laughs at your plans and change your whole world upside down, try to give 100% from yourselves and just go for it. It might not be the happiest period in your life, there are times I sit on my bed and cry because I feel useless, but everything happens for a reason, for me that reason is my husband’s career – in only 1.5 year of working in the company he became like ultra-Mario, leveled up 3 times and now he’s coordinating mega-project. I work hard here, so he can have a strength and courage to work hard for us there. And who knows what kind of opportunities will open for both of us if the project goes smoothly? Today I complain about being a housewife and maybe tomorrow we will be sent to Europe or Asia, because the same way I didn’t plan to be here today the same way I might need to change my life all over again tomorrow.
Do you think you could be happy as a housewife/househusband? Would you mind if your spouse chose that path? Share your view on this topic! We cannot wait to read it! 🙂
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