I’m so honored to present you the very first ever guest post written by lovely Grace from Texan in Tokyo about perks of getting married young. I absolutely love it and I’m also little bit jealous – ‘Why couldn’t I think of it?!’ because when I was reading it for the first time I could relate to it. But see it yourself and enjoy, everyone!
I fell in love with Lina’s “My Hong Kong Husband” blog for a lot of reasons. She has a funny, relatable way of writing, she shares all the ups and downs of her relationship with Sing, and her posts can teach you so much about Hong Kong Culture.
Let me explain- we have the same basic story, with slightly different details.
Both Lina and I got married very young.
Both of us are white, from a “Western country” (she is from Poland, I am from Texas).
Both of us have a husband that is Asian (her husband is from Hong Kong, mine is from Japan)
Both of us have lived in our husband’s home country.
Both of us run blogs where we talk very publically about our life, our intercultural marriage, and our time living abroad.
In my past two years a blogging, I’ve had a lot of people tell me they thought it was irresponsible that I got married so young. People said things like “you’re wasting your potential” or “you will wake up in five years and regret it.”
I think comments like that are a bit rude. People have all sorts of negative stereotypes for “young brides” or “young couples,” but most of the time, those stereotypes are completely untrue.
My husband and I’s marriage wasn’t rash or rushed. He proposed on our one year anniversary; we got married one year later. We had plenty of time to think about it. By the first month of engagement, we had clear six month, one year, three year, and five year goals. We had both graduated from college, he had a wonderful job in Tokyo, and my freelancing career was taking off. We were financially independent.
We knew what we were getting into. I wasn’t pregnant. It wasn’t for the sake of a “green card.”
Through my marriage, I was able to write the book “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy: The Comic Book” about our daily life in Japan. I draw comics about our life as an interracial and intercultural couple in Japan, about being broke newlyweds in Tokyo, and about being a freelancer abroad.
I am currently running a campaign to fund this book – if you would like to pick up a copy/PDF of the comic book, please follow this link.
I love the fact that I got married young – not only because I get to spend more time with my husband, but for all sorts of other reasons. So I wanted to write a post on My Hong Kong Husband about all the good points of getting married young:
7 Perks of Getting Married Young
- You get to “grow up” together and grow old together
Thankfully, I have Ryosuke right beside me. He is my best friend. We can talk about our fears and problems together… and of course we are changing. But we are changing together.
- Marriage is fun!
I love being married. I love being able to turn down work parties (“My husband and I are going hiking on Saturday, sorry!). I love being able to wake up next to Ryosuke every morning and snuggle with him every night.
I love getting to do “married couple” things like pick out shelves from Ikea, brainstorm baby names, plan biking trips around Japan, and using a game of poker to divide the chores.
- We have plenty of time to enjoy married life before even thinking about children.
I love traveling. I enjoy backpacking through foreign countries, meeting all sorts of new people, and trying weird/unique food. However, I also really want to have a large family sometime in the future.
I want four kids; my husband wants three.
And because we got married so young, we’ve had plenty of time to travel, eat crazy food, meet unique people, try a bunch of hobbies, and have fun as a “couple” before even thinking about having children. I love it.
- Less binge drinking, partying, and crying myself to sleep
I didn’t date very much (like, at all) when I was younger. I thought it was silly how people would get so invested in a person – to the extent that they lose their own self, their goals, their grades, and their social life.
I didn’t want to be that kind of person… so I chose not to date anyone. And I was pretty lonely. By the time I got to college, I was going to parties once a month, drinking more than I should, and crying alone in my room because no one would love me I needed to be loved.
Then I met my husband. He broke my “no dating in college” rule. And as we ‘grew up together, I became a much happier, more secure person.
I’m not sure if your twenties are actually the best years of your life. But I’ve had more fun in my three years with my husband than in the decade before it.
I love my twenties.
- It is a nice security net
I am a very anxious person. I used to have panic attacks because I thought people might not like me. Or that they were judging me and laughing at me behind my back.
As I got older, I realized that yes, people were talking about me behind my back. That’s what people do.
And then there’s my husband – he just doesn’t care about any of that. He is one of the most carefree and confident people I have ever met. He doesn’t understand my anxiety… but he has helped me find ways to cope with it.
In the end, my husband has the only opinion that matters. People can find a way to hate anything… and my husband has taught me that it’s so much more rewarding to just “do my thing” than to worry about what other people think.
Even if everyone else thinks the dress I’m wearing looks stupid, as long as both my husband and I think it looks cute, I’m ok.
- I get to call him my “husband.”
I have no idea why. It’s just so thrilling every time I really sit down and think “Yes, we’re married. Forever. We get to spend the rest of our lives together.”
Thanks for reading! I run my own blog, “Texan in Tokyo” where I draw comics and blog about daily life as the white wife of a Japanese salaryman.
If you’re interested, check it out my book “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy: The Comic Book”
Or my blog, “Texan in Tokyo”
And my Facebook
So what do you think guys? Do you agree with Grace? Do you know someone who got married young? Share your thought and stories! And big ‘Thank you’ to Grace for being part of this blog and her great post! 🙂