令女生們反感的男生 – men you wouldn’t want to date

OK, maybe only I wouldn’t date.

Probably reading my post you could find out I really like Asian men – most of them I know are smart, well behaved gentlemen. It gives me a lot of pleasure to do my ‘research’ for My Hong Kong husband, but life is not perfect, people are not perfect. We cannot like everyone, can anyone think of any person in this world that is liked by everyone? I think not. Same here – I love to read Asian men take on AMWF relationship but some of them really get on my nervespicard-facepalm

In my post I often refer to the opinions I find on-line, on forums, messages or simply I can just hear them. I think I’m quite open minded and tolerant but there are people that make me just facepalm. Literally there’s no other reaction for what I can find.

Let me present you my very subjective list of guys I would personally never ever date based on what they say/do. And if I did that would be the worst date ever, thank God I’m married and the only bad dates are with the man I already know.

  1. The Otter Guy
    Why TOG? Because otter is a word in crossword puzzle that refers to ‘Abalone Eater’ but in abalone in Cantonese slang means woman’s private parts. So you basically you have a man who is good with ladies or at least he thinks he is. In the older posts like ‘How to pick up a white girl’ (click to read it) you could read some advice and the one you thought are stupid are the advice of The Otter Men. In their mind they are experts in dating Western girls but when you are the actual Western girl and you read all the crap they write the only thing you can do is just laugh. Laugh that a guy who seems not even talk to a real-life girl gives advice to others. I think I don’t need to mention Mr. Know-It-All is like a guru to himself. And sadly to some other men who actually believe him.
  2. Trophy boyfriend
    Not really common type, quite acceptable, but I think I wouldn’t be able to spend too much time with someone who only focus on ‘Look at me, I’m dating a white girl‘. I have to admit that my husband was little bit a trophy boyfriend, but he just talked about it to me like ‘Wow, I really have a white wife. Mom now must feel stupid when she doubted me’. But some guys will almost make a tonsil exam by their tongue  just to be sure everyone around have noticed that. Or even worse – they publish the girl photos (or photos together, to be more real) on the public forum with ‘How would you rate my girl’ or ‘This is me and my wife’ and then there’s a whole photo shoot. I don’t mind my husband publish photos of the food I learn to make for him (yes, there are topics like that too – just to show off who has better wife, in their minds), but if he published our photos with my knowledge (and I’m pretty sure a lot of the girls didn’t have idea their pictures are now on-line, I saw one case myself: guy was making a screenshots of their We Chat conversation and by her specific, not covered name you could easily find her profile on Facebook) I would kill him. I don’t even need a chocolate in that case.
  3. Achievement hunter
    For me that’s the saddest and most disgusting type. And I mean here any person who plays with feelings just for ‘exotic experience’. If both of you just want to have fun, it’s OK, non of my business. UntitledBut when we browse forums and I can see (luckily very few) guys who say ‘I just want to have some good time with a laid-back Western girl, some wild sex, but I wouldn’t marry her. Too different, I want to settle with one of our girls’. If everything is clear between the two people, that’s fine, although I cannot understand that way of thinking. But  too bad that sometimes those Western girls don’t know it. Sadly one of my friends who let me share her story was used by 3 guys in past 6 years. First those told her how much they are in love with her, come visit, meet family (she met all of them on-line), then the relationships started to be more intimate. And when they came back to their own homes they told her either ‘What relationship? I never called you my girlfriend‘ or ‘You know, we don’t match, it doesn’t make sense’.
  4. Overly attached boyfriend3EB92B597CFEE69313D2A5186E0CACA1
    From what I have noticed, by people around me, not only forums Asian men, especially young Chinese men I know including my very own Sing, tend to be really attached to their partners. I think in a normal situation having a guy who loves you, who won’t give up on you so easily is just a dream come true. Yet, sometimes no matter what people split and it would be nice not to have a stalking psychopath bombing you with messages from ‘I love you don’t leave me’, through ‘I will kill myself’ sometimes ending on ‘You cannot run, you cannot hide’. Good most of the OAB are just cheesy, sweetie and cuddly instead of Freddy Krueger (One, two, Sweetie’s coming for you. Three, four, Better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, Gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, Never sleep again…). You know how I mean *looks at Sing*.
  5. The Economist
    As you might read in my post about naked marriage (click here) it’s really hard for a young men in China to match their in-laws standards. What is the minimum requirement for a lot of guys is having a first payment for the flat, one of my husband’s cousin had the same problem. He wanted to get engaged to the girl he’s with, but her parents won’t agree if he doesn’t come up with money for a flat. Now they cannot get married because there’s not enough money. Imagine when you have to buy a flat, car, bring gifts to the bride’s family on the wedding day and still pay some for the wedding itself. If you’re unlucky enough to have future parents in-law following the ‘no naked marriage rule’ you should better start saving now. So our men on next issue of Forbe’s Richest People thought that since there’s no such thing as naked marriage in the Western world they will simply marry a Western girl. One of them even said ‘It doesn’t matter she’s not Chinese, good girl will obey me, help us on our farm and just be happy to be with me. I might not be as happy as with Chinese girl, but I’m getting old and I should get married soon but I just can’t afford it’. I have no further comments.

I’m not perfect myself, I could find you plenty of people who dislike me and that’s just perfectly fine. If I have to classify myself into a group of Western girls Asian men wouldn’t like to date I would put myself into either ‘Period Hulk with a sweet toothimage(I can kill for a chocolate during ‘The Hunt for Red October’) or Mrs. Proper (not like the bald guy from cleaning products) – I will suck a pleasure from your life by making you do everything properly. My husband sometimes feels like he was a Swiss watch. Well, he likes watches. And he loves me so I’m looking on a brighter side of bein a Chocozilla.

What type of a person you wouldn’t date? Is he/she on my list? Share your opinion! 🙂

13 thoughts on “令女生們反感的男生 – men you wouldn’t want to date

  1. I would add the “wants-your-passport” guy. I was very careful about this, as in Thailand (not sure about China), they all want a “free pass” to get into the West. I married the right one, as I took my husband to the US…and he HATED it! He wanted to go home and eat his own food. This could also fall into one of your previous categories.

    Another mention might be the “doesn’t like dogs” guy. If you have a purse or lap dog, most Asian men will not like the idea of the dog being inside the house. But cats are okay if they catch mice.

    Be wary of “obligated to care for his parents” guy. If a man has no siblings, or if he is seen as the “wealthiest” if he’s married to you, you may be responsible for his parents well-being, especially if they are poor. I fall into this category, but I was duly warned ahead of time. Fortunately, I have reasonable in-laws who know even I have a limited budget. I hear horror stories (more often from men marrying Asian girls) of in-laws demanding a house or car and wanting to take their daughter back if the son-in-law does not comply with their wishes.

    This is more from the Thai side of things rather than Chinese, but there’s certainly a bit of overlap when dealing with Asian cultures.


  2. I agree with Amandachwa, as this might be another useful category. Mostly I heard about it when the Asian man was from a more rural area rather than had an established live in a city. Also I believe that the in-laws demanding house/ car/ cash from the western guy is pretty much the same as if the guy would be Asian, it is just still the common believe. I know some Chinese guys who studied with me from rural areas and a few married actually Western women, however their families did not expect anything of the sort but of course the prodigy son has some kind of supporting role for the entire family back in China


  3. strange hearing about the asian men having obligations to their inlaws…. I always thought it was the women who did, hence why many asian women marry a foreigner and stay there, so they don’t have to be a slave to traditions?


    1. I think I wrote it with PL grammar that’s why it might be a bit confusing, haha. Downs of not being English native speaker, haha. What I meant was a lot of Chinese men I know even if they want a white wife they wish the wives could follow the Chinese family traditions. And the part about ‘naked marriage’ is just I feel so sorry for guys, especially young one, just graduated and already have a pressure to take a credit for this, that and then pay for the wedding. That’s what my husband’s cousin is facing, took a credit, begged family to sell the family flat to have the first payment, now he can live with her, his parents sadly have to rent out a flat instead of living in their own place, he has no money to propose or do the wedding and he will pay off that flat until probably he has grandchildren. one of our friends wanted to propose with 80 000 HKD worth ring and he later been called ‘cheap’ by her parents since he comes from wealthy family (both of them actually are) so it’s pretty tough for some men to… just be a man 🙂 my husband one day hearing about his cousin was like ‘oh God, how much money I’ve saved with you’ … romantic… 😉


  4. I agree! Unfortunately my ex was a serious case of number 4, especially after I decided that it wasn’t written in the stars and it was time to head our separate ways. Without going to the details, it was very hard to break away from him even after I had moved away. I wish no one has to deal with that kind of guy.


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