Disaster that only George R. R. Martin could think of. You know what I mean – the wedding day. A lot of my readers asked me to write little bit about our wedding, but I had to wait until I will be ready. Almost two years after that I’m finally used to the thought of how bad it was. I mean we didn’t have any murder or poisoning which was nice but I’m pretty sure non of you will want to exchange with me.
Most of AMWF couples you can see online have beautiful weddings, sometimes more than one – Western and Eastern. We had only one and we made it so bad that actually we could make a guide how not to prepare your wedding ceremony.
I could complain about it for hours but I will put everything into a small list.
- Not enough time for preparation – we went to Tsim Sha Tsui marriage register on the day of my 21st birthday, the day I could legally get married in Hong Kong. I was stupid enough to believe my husband that you can make a nice, good wedding in less than 2 months. We had exactly 56 days to prepare everything. Don’t make that mistake.
- The guest list – usually couples make two weddings for two families. In our case it would have to be three since my parents cannot fly due to my dad’s health condition, our Shanghainese part of the family wouldn’t go from Shanghai to Hong Kong and there was our Hong Kong part of the family. We ended up having a total of 15 (fifteen!) guest, where 3 of them were my husband’s father’s co-workers and a driver. Did I mention all of the people who attended to our wedding I’ve met only once, before the ceremony? Since there was literally no one from my side (not even my dear parents) I felt pretty lonely. Sing took the whole spot that night. At least even thought I didn’t know them well they were all really nice to me, especially Z&S. I really love how they were by my side all the time.
- My bride’s maid gender – not only it was a guy, a dear friend of my husband but I met him two days before we got married. I cannot complain about him, if he was a girl he would be the best bride’s maid ever, but it was weird not to have a girl. I couldn’t ask Sing’s sister to be my bride’s maid because she didn’t want to, she was too scared.
- The place – you cannot organize a wedding in Hong Kong for 15 people so we ended up having a meal. I wanted a restaurant but of course his Highness wanted to feel ‘special’ and once our friend mentioned a tram there was no way back. Yes, I had a wedding on a hundred year old tram. Maybe it would be more fun if the weather wasn’t super hot and there was no air conditioner. I also had a hope maybe we can get a big, red (lucky in Chinese culture) tram but we ended up having a smaller, green one.
- The time of the ceremony – our ceremony was supposed to start at 16:30, we were earlier to prepare the documents and meet up with everyone but some couple before us forgot their IDs and they made us have our ceremony earlier, in rush and after that they kicked us out from the ceremony room. It destroyed the whole time table, because I told my husband that getting from TST to Happy Valley won’t take 2 hours, even if he had a building going down on the way. Now they made us wait even longer before our tram can go. Where did me and my guest spend our hour before catering and everything else could be picked up? In Cafe de Coral. Their name ‘Big family happy’ was not what I felt that moment. Imagine how embarrassing it was for me to sit there. How would you feel seeing a girl in a wedding dress and her guests waiting for catering service? And since we’re in wedding dress topic…
- Don’t let your future husband pick up your dress – his perverted mind told him ‘a ghost girl in a Chinese wedding dress, yum’ and didn’t really care I hated the choice he made. It wasn’t so bad but it made me look so fat. What was the point of me being on diet when the dress gave me all the kilograms I lost. I wanted long, Chinese princess style, but I looked more like a potato.
- Hair, nails and make-up. Once my MIL knew the price of it she told my husband’s sister to do it for me. I agree it’s kind a rip off when you need to pay 3-4 times more just because you add ‘wedding’ to the name and his sister is quite skilled in doing make-up but it made me feel like I’m not getting that special attention brides get.
- Music – this one is my favorite and I like to tell it to every friend of us. Since we were on a tram we could not have a band or anything so my husband played music from his iPhone through big speakers. We had some fun with Beyond, Sam Hui when suddenly I heard *tudum tudum tudum* Yes, she’s a diva… My wedding song was ‘SEXY BITCH’ by David Guetta and Akon. Yes, you read it right. Damn, girl!
- Photo shoot – it’s not common to have a pre-wedding photo shoot in Poland so after hours of talking we decided to ask his friend and one of our guests to make some photos during the ceremony and party. I need to say that was my mistake: I should know with my face and how photogenic I am I needed a professional and hours with Adobe Photoshop. Our photo album now is full of bad photos, weird faces and… cargo boat. Good that at least we still can make those fake post-pre-wedding photo shoots.
- Cake – since our wedding was tiny we couldn’t order those beautiful cakes because they were for like 50 people. We ordered a small, heart-shaped cake with our name and fruits. I didn’t like it from the beginning but Sing promised me he will ask them to make it chocolate, so at least I can enjoy it a bit more. Few days before the wedding we came to the bakery where we ordered the cake to confirm that it will be chocolate and they said it will be for sure. Guess who got a vanilla cream cake.
- Classy silverware – we had some alcohol, non-alcohol beverages, catering from Cafe de Coral (to be fair the food they prepared was tasty) but we had to provide our own glasses, cups, silverware so we ended up with a plastic champagne glasses, cups and forks/knives we bought in our local TASTE. To make it even more funny while Sing was talking to people on the upper deck I was downstairs trying to build our toast-glass.
- The night after the wedding – I must say that Sing made me a surprise and booked in secret a room in Nikko Hotel with a magical view of harbor. That’s a thing that makes me super happy and I’m really proud to show you the view I had when I first enter the room. Magical, isn’t it? Well, my luck wouldn’t be mine if it didn’t work. You think I could enjoy our special evening? To be honest, I could – thanks to terrible stomach ache I didn’t sleep for a whole night and ‘thanks’ to that I could spend that time with a magnificent view of Hong Kong by night.
Conclusion: don’t believe in ‘if your wedding is bad your marriage is bad’ – somehow even after all of this we made a pretty nice couple, and when you feel your ceremony is far from what you’ve ever imagined – think of me. 😉
Of course every girl wants her big day to be special, but if nothing goes well it’s not as bad as if the marriage itself was bad. I won’t lie that I wouldn’t want to get another ceremony, but we already moved on, we’re married for almost two years and after all ups and downs we made it. Maybe it’s not long enough to be called ‘impressive’ but every day together is giving me back all the sadness and regrets of the ceremony. That keeps me on going and makes me happy.
To be honest with you, while writing this post, I had my small catharsis. I even change the title of the post from ‘disaster day’ to the one you see now. All the time until now I thought my wedding was the worst. As a bride I felt little bit unfair seeing other people so happy, on their ‘perfect days’, but in the end – even thought it was faaaaar away from being perfect – it wasn’t that bad. We even a level 10 typhoon which hit Hong Kong few days later and that means God/s allowed us to be husband and wife.
At this point I also want to give my best wishes to my two dear friends, Polish girls getting married to Chinese men. Dear Aldona and Justyna, I hope everything will be perfect and that you will be happy as wives of two, charming men. Congratulations girls and I wish you everything the best.
And to all of you, love birds 🙂
Has something like that ever happened to you or to the one you know? How was your own wedding? Share your memories – those good and bad ones 🙂