如何找洋女友 – how to pick up a white girl…

… according to Chinese guys.

You might call us some kind of AMWF-stalkers but we really enjoy reading other people’s opinions or their experience in interracial relationships. And to get into one you first need to date someone.
It’s always good to get some advice from ‘older brothers’ who already went through all the troubles and can guide you to your dream girl – you just need to ask online to get all the knowledge and hints you need. Some of them are useful, some of them are useless, some of them are just stupid. Check them out!

  • You don’t need to be strong or have big muscles, but you should exercise. It’s also good to know a little bit about sport, in Western society cheering the team is a thing they care about. It also helps you to get out of ‘nerdy Asian’ stereotype.
  • Don’t wear glasses – girls don’t really like it. My US girlfriend and my German ex-girlfriend both said that they don’t like me wearing them.1466111_695798573772860_889519078_n
  • Learn how to drink – foreign girls drink a lot, they can be better than average Asian guy so you need to keep up with them. It will also help you to socialize with her friends.
    My husband tried to socialize so badly I had to hold up his head when he threw up. That sets up the mood.
  • Hold the doors, do things gentlemen do – no matter if the girl is white, black or whatever they like guys who know how to behave and can treat them really well. Every girl wants to be a princess for a while.
  • Be clean, smell well, use perfume. Take a lot of care about your teeth, no one wants to date someone who looks/smells like homeless.
  • Show off with your money and cars. You can be ugly or old but with money you will always find some good looking girl.
     Yup, if you want gold diggers around your person.
  • Be brave and self confident, even thought my girl is 10 cm taller I went to talk to her and asked her out. Same with my ex-girlfriend, I asked her directly and that worked. If they don’t like you – too bad, but they will be straight about it. You have nothing to lose, you can only win.
  • When it goes to income it’s much easier to please a white girl than Asian girl, but you should have a job to show her that you can earn money and you’re not affraid of any job. They won’t mind you being a waiter or making burgers in McDonald’s, any stable job can please them and you don’t really need to spend much to go out with them, coffee or Chinese food works well – it’s cheap and for them it’s exotic.
  • Improve your language – if you cannot talk you cannot make a relationship. If she knows your language or is willing to learn it’s great, but if you show her that you’re interested in her culture and language it will give you some extra points. Not to mention you can later know what she talks about with her friends or family. No talk, no relationship.
    It’s so true, but in my head I could only think of 許冠傑 ‘钱钱钱’ and his ‘no money, no talk’. 
  • Don’t think too much – Western society is more friendly, opened, touchy. A kiss in the cheek or a hug can be just a nice friendly gesture and don’t really need to mean she’s interested in you. White girls kiss their friends in the cheek for goodbye, or hold friend’s arm, but it has no physical meaning to them.
  • Let the revenge lead you – they f… our women during the wars, now we f… their.
    You surely not. I seriously don’t know how to comment something like this. But there’s always one or two guys like that.
  • Get a right target: make sure she has some friends, ‘queen’ (or flower) is beyond what you can get, always approached by other guys, social outcast might treat you like a center of their universe and change into overly attached girlfriend who will stab you if you want to break up. Pick the ground of the flower – less chance for her to be crazy, it’s not a shame to show up with her and won’t be too popular among the guys.
    Or maybe just pick the one you like, not someone you find as ‘not a potential killer’?
  • Don’t be cheap – splitting a glass of tap water will not lead you to a second date. No one likes cheap people, it’s fine to have just a walk in the park and maybe drink some coffee together, but you must not cross the ‘cheap-ass-line’.
  • Bring her a tiny gift – girls like a nice treatment, but don’t show off with your money or make them uncomfortable. Flower or a cake from her favourite bakery is enough to give her a smile and warm feeling about you.

I cannot really say that those dating advices are so much different than in any ‘same race’ dating. It might just seem much more complicated than it really is.

Do you agree with those advices? What else would you say to Asian men who want to date foreign girls? Share your thoughts and ideas! 🙂

34 thoughts on “如何找洋女友 – how to pick up a white girl…

  1. From my experience, being a gentleman and having confidence is best. It is natural, and wins respect from all 🙂 Other than that, be secure.

    The list above has a few weird/bizarre things that any girl from any race would quickly walk away from. Showing off will only bring women that are not interesting and I suggest staying away from those types. If you have the revenge angle, then you have security issues and will have problems with all women.

    Be natural and respectful to all, as women around the world seem to admire that in all and any man (be it mixed-race relationships or same-race relationship). Do not worry about race…instead be intrigued by the culture and learning. It will be good for everyone.


  2. I believe the thing is about being your true self, accepting who you are and confidence would rise from there. Love’s really hard to explain point by point. After all, all’s well ends well, isn’t it? 😉


  3. Here in Taiwan, I find that the opposite is true. Usually Taiwanese girls are more interested in finding a Westerner boyfriend and they try many tactics to ensure she keeps him as well. It is very unusual to see a Taiwanese man with a western woman but there are some exceptions to the rule (including myself). I did some asking around and found out that many man in Taiwan my feel intimidated by a western woman’s independence and may feel that she is ‘too wild’ to have some form of serious commitment! I find your article very interesting. Personally, I think if a man has confidence and is an all around nice person, he will attract anyone, no matter what their race!! Love reading your posts!!


  4. There are some points that are true, but then again, I think this goes for all kinds of men, I mean, of course you should be a gentleman and you shouldn’t be cheap, but I guess most western men don’t even think about it, because they already “know” it, but I’m sure some Asian men knows it also~ But what would be even more interesting would be “如何找洋男友-how to pick up a white man” and see what the foreign men would expect from the asian girls.. and especially if it was for one of those girls with the “princess syndrome” .. anyways – great post 😀 its funny.. personally i can see how my 老公 has changed since i met him, and now all of this “fits” him haha . 😛


      1. I believe that in itself is a stereotype, that white people naturally hold racially motivated stereotypes, and I suppose you are probably right. But I know the reverse is also true.

        We can do better.

        I admit openly that when I was a server and bartender that I hated getting tables of Asians, Blacks, Russians or Canadians. At least in my experience the stereotype about bad tipping seemed true in every one of those cases. Every once in a while I was surprised however, and what I figured out in the end was that there are bad tippers of every genetic & cultural background but good tippers vs bad tippers is really a numbers game.

        In any case, if the service is great 20% is the golden rule in the US, 15% for average service, and 10% to indicate a problem. If the service doesn’t even warrant 10%, politely request a conversation with the restaurant manager. Any American woman worth having (keeping in mind that is not limited to white woman) will pick up on dates that treat “the staff” poorly.


      2. I’m unaware of how tipping works in the US and its significance, in the UK it is usually 10% but it is not obligatory and we certainly don’t look down on customers who don’t. But surely if it is not compulsory, why should they tip? Especially when they realise their waiter has ingrained stereotypes about them…


  5. Before I met my Chinese husband, I dated another Chinese guy. I stopped dating him after he complained once too often about racial prejudice against him. My husband, on the other hand, wasn’t a complainer. I liked that.

    Another interesting, provocative post.


  6. As an American I lived in Guilin for a year and was always asked why I didn’t have a Chinese boyfriend. 1.) No one asked me out. 2.) No one asked me out. 3.) Foreign guys asked me out all of the time. 4.) Have a job.

    The car and money didn’t matter to me, seeing as I didn’t have either. But you have to have a pair of balls to get the foreign girls.


  7. Well let’s see here…
    Don’t wear glasses: All contacts irritate my eyes.
    Don’t be shy: I’m schizoid and possibly autistic.
    Don’t be cheap: I have little money
    Drive a nice car: Don’t have a driver’s license.
    Drink: My current medication doesn’t allow me to drink alcoholic beverages.

    I’d probably have to pretend I broke my leg or something just to catch a female’s eye.


  8. Just three points:

    1. Chinese food is not “exotic” to your average Western chick. In fact, it’s about as ordinary as it gets as far as dining experience goes.

    2. The “don’t be cheap” advice is probably a bit misdirected. As far as I know, Asian guys tend to be the more traditional type that pays for everything on dinner dates. In contrast, the Western guy is likely to “go Dutch”.

    3. The “revenge” thing is hilarious. In case that person didn’t know, white men are still sleeping with Asian women. Just look at all the white men who have flocked to Asia pretending to be English teachers.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I would agree that in interracial dating/marriages (there are 3 in my immediate family and more broadly, 2 others among cousins), it tends to be Asian descent woman and white guy.

    As for not wearing glasses, get over it, Chinese guys: just wear them and exercise. You’ll be fine.

    And ask yourself are you interested in a white woman because she is a fine person, for life? Or is it perceived easy sex (which maybe quite wrong)? Don’t cheapen yourself, date on the road towards love. If not, then leave as friends.

    Oh yeah, I should clarify myself: I’ve dated Chinese guys. My guy is German-Canadian for last 22 yrs. He wears glasses, has a soft voice (which makes it very effective for his management jobs that he’s had), etc.


  10. Personally I like somebody who only drinks occasionally or not at all and is not a heavy drinker.

    Glasses – I think they are sexy if they suit a person (and if the person needs glasses and doesn’t only wear them to be fashionable, like the ones without actual glasses). My husband only wears glasses if he’s tired, but I think he looks very handsome with them.

    Otherwise, being confident and having different interests and topics to talk about are all a big plus.


  11. White girls nowadays set a high standard in finding their date. They require that the guy is good looking, has a stable job and has an overflowing self confidence. I also agree with that. Not only white women but all women don’t like guys who are cheap and those who has a poor sense of a good conversation.


  12. Treat her with respect, show a genuine interest, be yourself, be honest, no bullshit, no lies go a long way and yep being mean and stingy is a real turn off. We girls like to be spoilt not because we are money grabbing or greedy but because it makes us feel special, that you think we are worth splashing out on


  13. This is funny and it’s amazing how some people can over-simplify in their advice. It’s the universal truth, if you are interesting enough as a person you can get heart-broken by any nationality and there is always somebody for you somewhere in the world, otherwise no amount of deodorant [or language skill for that matter] is going to help :-). and let’s not simplify what a “white” girl wants…


    1. Every white girl is different! Some of my asian girlfriends are far more demanding. Women have changed in the past 35 years alot. They make their money… they buy their houses, they do as they please. Asian men, like a lot of white men like to control, and that is OK.. they just need to learn like my ex boyfriend had to learn last year, we have two feet and we can easily get up and walk out.


  14. I like your advice about how to pick up a white girl. However, it is hard because white women set up high standards. They are not submissive at all. Asian men are used to “control” to much. To pick up a white girl successfully, you need to change. Try to hang around with white friends or non-Asian friends, and go from there.


  15. Some of this is right, some of this is sooooooooo wrong. Plus alot of it is subject to personal preference. Like glasses. Some girls like em, some girls don’t. Depends on how the guy looks in them really.
    Plus not all foreign girls drink, when I lived in China I drank more than I ever did in the UK actually. Mostly cos of KTV. The drinking culture in China seems big to me. And being more open and touchy feely isn’t always true, there are plenty of shy girls in the west. It’s very varied.


  16. To be honest, I prefer Western women more in general, regardless of skin colors. I need someone who is independent and intelligent.


  17. I know this is a really old post – but I have to weigh in.

    I am a western woman, I prefer Asian men. My first little boyfriend when I was five, was a little Japanese boy.

    I don’t care about cheering for the team. I don’t care about muscles. I love men in glasses… all men are sexier when they wear glasses, in my opinion.
    Don’t worry about looking dorky – my current crush is Bong Tae-Gyu… if you look nerdy like him, call me! But don’t let my husband find out… I’ll never understand why Asian men don’t ask us out… I had to make all the approaches. And no, I don’t like confident men like Americans… it always looks like arrogance to me.

    The most important thing is not treating western women like second class citizens, or thinking that your opinion is most important because you’re the ‘man’. That can be a big cultural hurdle. My last Korean boyfriend learnt that the hard way – one night I gave him a black eye because he was physically trying to stop me from going somewhere. Not acceptable.

    My first real interracial relationship was with a Chinese guy… he told me afterward that when I first approached him, he was sort of terrified because it was totally unexpected. We were 15, and none of his friends were dating white girls. They learnt to ask non-asian women out because I told them that “we don’t know, if you don’t say”, and most women aren’t as forward as I am. Long story short, one of them ended up married to my friend! She’d been making eyes at him for ages, but he automatically thought he didn’t have a chance.

    Many years and several kids later… they are still very happy. He wouldn’t have asked her if I hadn’t given him a push.


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