小心你的網路情人 – be careful who you love

Again and again my husband reads on the news or Chinese forums how people looking for somebody to love got tricked byimage (1) Internet scams – no matter is it about money, playing with someone’s feelings or just use people’s need to be loved it’s just sick and disgusting. Just read about ‘fresh case’ of Daniel Perry.

That motivated me and my husband to sit down, write Chinese men’s experience about scams they had to deal with – there are many cases, we translated only 4 of them but maybe that will make you think two times if you think person you’re chatting with is suspicious. For AMWF relationships Internet is the easiest way to get known each other beside moving to another country, but it’s also the easiest way to get tricked.

Fake marriage agencies

In last few years ‘Marry-a-white-girl-agencies’ got quite popular in China, especially with Russian and Eastern European girls. Their commercial say that if you pay them (from 20000 RMB to 8000 USD) they show you a picture or beautiful girls, they match them with your expectations about her look, language she speaks, age, even breast size. They take care of your VISA, airplane ticket, transportation, hotel, gifts for the girls. Now you can be cheated in three ways:

  • Whole agency is fake – they put their site on a foreign server, ask you to pay online ONLY, once you pay – it’s over
  • What you see is not what you get: instead of beautiful smiling girl you get unhappy divorced 10 times lady who lied about her in almost every single way, instead of loving children, taking care of family she swears at every baby and tells you she doesn’t want to deal with your parents, she’s not their nanny
  • You find love but… He met a girl with agency’s help, they got married – first she asked him for extremely expensive wedding, gifts, pay to her and her parents for marrying her. Done. After few months of marriage she asked if she can go back to Russia to see her parents because of their health problems. That was the last time he saw her. She just completely disappeared, couldn’t find her, agency didn’t want to help him.

But of course not every agency is like that – no matter if you’re a girl looking for your East Mr. Right or Chinese man looking for your Gwai-mui just carefully check the agency, it’s opinion, look online how many couples they really matched and if possible, if you have anyone around you who successfully used a matching agency – go to the same one.

(S)he…

That story is quite crazy but I really do believe that it could happen to anyone. Chinese man met a girl online, they’ve been talking on Skype, doing videochat. What he saw was pretty long, blond hair, nice body like a model – he just got crazy about her. One day they decided to finally meet, he flew to see her. As he said ‘She was so pretty I got horny, I wanted to go to hotel as soon as possible’. They went there, kissed but she didn’t want to go any further. He went out to get some alcohol, make her little bit less stressed. They drank and finally she confessed she is actually (still) him – plans to have surgery but still have ‘man’s private parts’. Guy got so crazy he even called the policy, but I don’t really know how it ended.

About this you cannot do much – people will let you get known them as much as they want to show, if they want to hide something they might do it to the very end. You need to count on your partner’s honesty. And don’t worry if first few hours after seeing you in real life she doesn’t spread her legs – I even think it’s quite normal not to have sex with someone you can touch or hug for the first time, it doesn’t mean she has a surprise between her legs.

Naughty videochats

That’s a quite popular way to scam people. You meet a pretty girl or a handsome guy – you two flirt, get closer, talk about imagemeeting each other in real life, then s/he suggests naughty video chat. You show your naked body or do naughty stuff and then they tell you it all has been recorded – if you don’t pay first your friends and family will see this, later the whole Internet. You think it can happen only in movies? Only this years, only in Hong Kong more than 40 cases like that were reported, more than 10 guys already paid people who blackmailed them. Not to mention there are probably many more cases, people are just ashamed to report it and pay.

My advice – even if you know that person in real life just don’t do that. Computers and Internet are not safe and once something is digged out it will stay there. Look at Edison Chen – all Hongkongers know what I’m talking about, for those who don’t know the case: Edison Chen is actor, singer, fashion designer and everything else a celebrity can be. In 2008 pictures with him and other HK celebrities were stolen from his private computer. Not friendly photos – sex photos. It didn’t only hurt him but all the people could see Gillian Chung, Bobo Chan (my favourite name), Maggie Q. Mandy Chen, Candice Chan, Rachel Ng and Cecilia Cheung in intimate situations. So just don’t do it.

Sending money

The most classic example of scam. They met online, like a lot of AMWF couples. She claimed she loves him and wants to see him as soon as possible. But first there was a ‘bad boyfriend’ and she needed money to buy some pepper spray, but didn’t want to bother her sick mom. He sent money. Then sick mom got more sick. He sent more money. At the end she said ‘let’s meet’. He said he has some days off, he can fly there. ‘No, no, don’t bother. Just send me money, I can handle everything. Don’t book my airplane ticket, don’t book the hotel. But can you add some more money for visa? When I get there we can get married‘. And that’s how my blinded-by-love friend lost money, faith in women and self-confidence.

From what I read it’s usually sending money thru Western Union or other services like that, of course she’s not using her name ‘friend/brother/cousin will help’ and once they get enough money they just disappear. Advice is simple: don’t send money, NEVER. if she doesn’t want you to come, starts to find excuses get suspicious.

Remember:

  • Don’t feel bad – check a person you’re talking to, maybe someone in the past got tricked by them too and shared it online: www.antiscam.org and many other sites provide pictures of people who are scams
  • Don’t do naughty videochats, don’t send your naked picture – even if you know them in real life. Interner just doesn’t forgive.
  • Be aware if ‘romance’ escalated too quickly – there’s nothing wrong with being charmed by someone but if after 2-3 mails someone says you’re love of their life…
  • Language barrier might be one of the things to make you feel suspicious – of course someone’s English might not be good but if you see the way of writing changes every few emails you might be a victim of a love scam, few people are writing to you, have a list about you and just reply in their own way
  • If your partner avoids talking on the phone, not to mention video-chat, just ignore it – it will only bring you a trouble
  • Be careful of what your lover says – if they lie, have different identities they might get confused and just mix up lies they tell
  • If you want to find partner thru agencies – check their references first, never pay online.
  • If you think someone is suspicious don’t get into that person – American spy in Turkey, secret agent, Barney Stinson?

Have you even been cheated by Internet scam? I know it hurts but please share your experience and help people so they can learn without getting hurt 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Hong-Kong-husband/147980925392373?ref=hl

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12 thoughts on “小心你的網路情人 – be careful who you love

  1. I saw a TV show about people being tricked into sending money. It’s just horrible how people play on others emotions and can really ruin their lives money-wise and for future relationships. How could you trust someone again if a previous “partner” had stolen from you? If you begin a relationship with someone over the internet and at any point before you meet they ask you for money, don’t give it to them!

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  2. This has been really eye opening. I had no idea these kinds happened to Asian guys looking for love. It also makes me think why do they want a white girl? Why can’t it be another Asian girl or another foreigner? Very interesting!

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    1. I bet it’s not only about ‘white girls’, but I’m sure some of that ‘White-superior-skin’ myth affects some of the people :/ which is extremely sad – I had a Chinese friend, he dated a black girl, she was gorgeous! But he openly told her besides short, ‘fun’ relationship she can’t hope for more because his family wouldn’t allow

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